Is my boyfriend not doing enough or am I asking to much?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years he's been great we've had our ups and downs like most but lately his choice to go to college for nursing while working 50+ hours at a factory 5 days a week this has been a massive issue we use to spend hours talking on the phone now I'm lucky if I get an hour or two my friends are saying I'm pushing to much well my opinion is if he really cared he'd stop what he's doing and spend time with me that's what a good boyfriend would do am I wrong or right?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

You are so in the wrong. Really clearly in the wrong. If I were talking to your boyfriend, and he told me that his girlfriend said (or thought):

"If he wanted a career he would have already achieved one he's 30 as well far as I'm concerned he just went to college to cheat"

I would tell your boyfriend, that this is a super fucked up thing for any girlfriend to say.

I would tell your boyfriend that he should break up with you. This is literally the opposite of what any girlfriend would say. It's the totally wrong, toxic and messed up thing to say to your boyfriend.

You should support his wanting to have a career. What is wrong with you? You are telling him he's too old to better himself? What kind of girlfriend would ever think something like 'you'd have a career by now if you were gonna have one; you shouldn't go to college" Wtf?

If your boyfriend is working 50 hours per week in a factory, do you suppose he does it for fun?

Your sense of entitlement is staggering. This is egregiously selfish of you. The whole thing.

Your worry that he's going to college to cheat, shows you've got some INSANE trust issues (and I have trust issues).

There is no reason, at all, to think he might be going to college to cheat. That's absurd. In your situation especially... it's long distance. If he was going to cheat, he didn't need to go to college.

It blows my mind that you asked this question like this was reasonable of you.

You need to rethink all of this. Or he'll get sick of you, before you think. No guy in his right mind would stay with someone like this. This is so wrong, I'm having trouble finding the words to properly express how in the wrong you are.

It sucks if you don't get to spend hours talking like you used to. That's fair. But if the reason is; that he's working 50 hours, and in school. You suck it up. That's life. Or you break up if you're not happy with the new reality. You do not discourage your boyfriend from going to college. You do not demand he not work the job he has to work (or he wouldn't be doing it)

He's not choosing to do other things rather than talk to you. He's working and working towards finishing school. You should be proud of him. You should be encouraging.

This is awful.

Zack-Bann · Accepted Answer

“He should have achieved his career by 30!!!” Is the statement made by someone who’s completely delusional about real life

Long distance relationships work exactly 0% of the time so your case was tragic to begin with

But you add a layer of toxicity to that by convincing yourself that he’s sleeping rough away from his loves ones just to cheat
He could’ve dumped you and had all the women in the world while being close to family

He’s dodging a bullet as we speak

itsannalee · Accepted Answer

First, being in LDR for 5 years is insane, but why would you need to talk to him everyday, isn’t just give you updates not enough for u? communication is important, but sometimes it take a lot energy for that after long day at work. Just keep giving you updates is the most important, you are 30. Not teen anymore.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

You’re being selfish. He’s working to better himself. You should support him.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I totally understand where you're coming from, but unfortunately, I think you're wrong in this situation.

Your boyfriend has a lot on his plate right now. I don't know how often you and him talk on the phone, but one or two hours is plenty of time to catch up. And honestly, that time might be all he can give you, so he could be spending that time on himself or his friends, but he's choosing to give it you instead because of how much he cares about you. .

exitseven · Answer

he wants a career. Maybe instead of whining because he cannot spend as much time on the phone with you and maybe support him in his endeavor.

Anonymous · Answer

And if the man didn't work , you’d probably call him lazy you ungrateful twat waffle.

Iron_Man · Answer

do you want him to quit his job

Anonymous · Answer

You are asking too much of him.

Is my boyfriend not doing enough or am I asking to much?

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