Is there ever a time in relationships where its okay and fine for women to be the ones to pay for dates/activities, pitch in financially?

[Anonymous]

Or do you still think in modern times the man is still the one expected to be the Main Financial provider in a relationship?

I'm completely fine and okay and I can accept that it's normal and tradition for the man to pay for the first few couple of dates but how about after the man and woman become exclusive with each other or things have progressed towards the third and fourth date and Beyond, is it ever okay for the woman to pay on a date or pitch in financially?

Or do majority of women still expect man to be the financial provider in a relationship?

[Lliam]

The thought of not paying never crossed my mind when I was dating women and in relationships between 1970 and 1996 when I got married. I wasn't worried about it.
I could afford it. It's not like I was supporting them or buying them a car or something.

It sent a signal that I liked them, appreciated their company, and could easily afford to show them a good time. The benefit was, they were fun to be with, we cuddled and kissed a lot, they gave me BJs and we fucked a LOT.

Some girlfriends did treat me to things like movies, outings or picnics on occasion, though.

[MrOracle]

Sure, but today's world is not the same. Be glad you aren't 19 today (knowing only what you knew at 19), because you'd likely get run over like a dog on the railroad tracks.

I'm 15ish years younger than you, and dating today is nothing like it was for me in the late 80s and 90s - I talk to kids in their late teens and 20s and it's a huge mess.

Though we're seeing a correction now, for the last 15 years or so, companies have been strongly favoring women when hiring - trying, officially or otherwise, to get to 50% women just for the sake of virtue signaling - and so a lot of men either couldn't get work or could only get low-paying labor jobs, even if they were equally or better qualified. Recruiters would even come out and tell them that they just aren't hiring men for those positions, unless of course they were LGBT.

Today, women in their 20s are doing financially better than men in their 20s. That was NOT the case in the 80s and 90s. But since it's the case now, why should men pay for most or all of the dates, especially if he's earning less than she is? Because he has a penis?

Men traditionally paid because women either didn't work outside the home or could only work certain jobs or certain hours and thus had lower earning potential - usually because they were home caring for children until those children were in their teens, and didn't need her as much. And in that circumstance, it made complete sense - but men also weren't competing against women for jobs, and jobs paid better because they knew the man's salary had to pay for an entire family.

Tradition is great, but when society radically changes things, you have to make adjustments. And they've changed a lot in a very short amount of time.

[Lliam]

@MrOracle. You talk like I was dating in the 1950s, not the 80s and 90s.
My girlfriends all had jobs and supported themselves.
At my company, there were women doing the same job as me and there were even managers and VPs. They were good people, not stuck up bitches looking for top 1% husbands.

I see lots of young couple now days everywhere I go. And I know happy couples your age.
There are lots of young married people or people in happy relationships here on GAG.

But then I hear about the kinds of guys who want "stunning" virgin wives or have all kinds of negative shit to say about women in general, about society, laws and 😭😭😭
There are guys who are ego drive, materialistic and competitive, for whom everything is transactional. And they keep track of profit and loss to insure that they always come out on top. Tenderness, love and trust doesn't enter their minds.

I can't help wondering why a woman these days would want to date a man with a chip on his shoulder or a cold heart and a calculating mind.

I think most men and women want the same things - love, respect, understanding, nurturing, loyalty, trust and security. Unfortunately, many have given up on finding those things because they have experienced treachery, greed and selfishness. That doesn't mean that there aren't lots of good men and women out there.

Back to the original question. There is nothing wrong with a woman paying for dates, especially if she makes more than the guy. But it's pathetic when guys act like little bitches about paying for dates and making sure that they don't pay more than the women.

[MrOracle]

I'm not sure where you are meeting guys like that, but that would be the exception, not the norm. Most men are still expected to pay for everything, and many guys are just asking for women to contribute (not even 50/50, but SOMETHING), or failing that, at least not expect to indulge in her every whim at his expense.

Recently, a guy took a woman on a date to the movies. In addition to $40 for popcorn and soda, she had picked out another $40 in candy (which she made clear was just for her) and a $20 lap blanket. The guy wisely ended the date right there and left. It's not like he didn't have the money, but the entitlement was off the charts.

I'm not suggesting that all women do that, because I know that's not true, but even a reasonable meal for 2 costs $40-50 on the low end and could easily be several hundred or more for a nicer dinner and a couple of drinks. Then you have entertainment, gas, parking, and incidentals. Most men can't afford to go out like that 2 or 3 times a week on their own, but are often expected to.

When I was 20-25, and barely making it, most of the girls were in a similar situation and most had reasonable expectations, but so many women today expect to be provided with an Instagram-worthy luxury lifestyle.

[Lliam]

@MrOracle. I wouldn't date women like that.

[OneViewpoint]

What? If a woman offers to pay you think I'm gonna get offended or threatened by her generosity and kindness? No. Did you ever consider that offering to pay may be a big deal to her and make her feel good? Ya can't let her have that and just say "thank you" sincerely?

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I mean, if she wants to, she definitely can. There's nothing wrong with it.

[Hellraiser1984]

Never. Its always on guys to do everything as usual. If all men disappeared one day women would couldn't handle it.

[Anonymous]

Of course. No woman worth dating actually believes it's solely the guys responsibility long term.

[Twalli]

If the woman expects me to pay for everything, she better not have a job or income.

[IHateBeingaMan]

are you okay or fine with the woman expecting you to pay for everything? or do you prefer a partnership financially?

[Twalli]

@IHateBeingaMan if the woman expects me to pay fir everything, she shouldn't have any capital herself. That's why men traditionally paid for everything. If she wants her own money and career, she's paying for some things too.

[IHateBeingaMan]

how is it in your relationship with your fiance? do you normally pay for everything?

[Twalli]

@IHateBeingaMan I pay for more, typically, but I also make more

[IHateBeingaMan]

does your fiance ever pay for anything?

[Twalli]

@IHateBeingaMan yeah, but shevworks 12 hours a week for $11/hr. In contrast I work 40 hours a week for >$22/hr.

[Nikki1989]

That time has always been there.

[IHateBeingaMan]

i believe it is possible