There's a serious disconnect here. It would appear a LOT of women think women are romantic. But a lot of men (including me) on the receiving end aren't seeing it materialize.
So what do women consider "romantic". Leave sex out of it. What are the big romantic warm n fuzzy gestures that guys are apparently blind to? Remembering a guy's birthday with a card and a grocery store cake? Big whoop, 1 day a year. Low effort. How about a "thank you" with a hug and a kiss more than 2 times a year?
And I'm not talking about 1 woman or a few women over decades. I'm talking virtually every woman I've ever known. If there's any effort it's always superficial. Sweet, kind, sincere, but the least effort possible.
Meanwhile a guy is expected to plan a weekend away, present her with diamonds, wine and dine her, write her poetry and love letters, take her shopping in Manhattan, remodel that spare bedroom into? for her, wash and wax her car, remember she mentioned some restaurant she wanted to try 2 months ago, present her with a prepaid spa day.
Depends on the woman some people are just more romantic then others it legitimately comes down to being compatible. There are women not as into romance some people are simply looking for other things as where some narcissists expect someone to put the effort in without giving little to zero in return.
I suspect you’re generalizing straight women. I’ve actually seen some very romantic gestures between lesbians. Heterosexual women have never had to be romantic. Historically, the man chased and the woman chose. “Romance” is everything men do to convince women that they’re worthy of her affection. Since women have always been “the prize”, they’ve never had to practice a set of behaviors in order to convince a man that she’s worthy.
Not exactly. Women are learning that men have preferences too. So if they’re not being chased by “their pick”, they either have to project a different impression of themselves or pick from the guys who are chasing. It’s still very passive compared to the romance that men have to practice to attract and keep a woman.
I have never had that experience with European women. I have dated women from Ukraine, Poland, Germany, and Ireland. Maybe you are looking for women in the wrong places.
My theory based on spiritual beliefs is that women were only created to be a challenge and lesson for men. Yes, best case the man & woman can work together and become a good team but she knows her role. If you don't know yours it will be very frustrating for you.
I'm pretty sure I'll have a fatwa against me for saying it but... Middle Eastern men are brought up being taught women are chattel. And then you expect your chattel to be romantic?
I know that is not true of all Middle Eastern men. It probably isn't true of the OP. But it is true of enough men that it sets societal norms.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 y
My girlfriend is.
Are you asking why specific women aren’t romantic because I haven’t met a non romantic woman. Like a woman who doesn’t like gifts, chocolate, sweet gestures from their partner, also doing the same. Like a relationship is a romantic companionship to begin with… Kinda comes with the whole package.
@Shiprex I talked about how a relationship is a romantic companionship of gifts, chocolate, sweet gestures from their partner and can’t imagine NOT getting into and enjoying romantic gestures while BEING romantic to their men. You need to read more carefully next time. “ Like a woman who doesn’t like sweet gestures… also doing the same” & “ Like a relationship is a romantic companionship… Kinda comes with the whole package.” I don't know how it wasn’t clear dude.
So what are THEY doing specifically to men? That's the point. Women don't "buy gifts and chocolates for men and are these gestures things like making a sandwich or meal (they also enjoy so shouldn't count) I did read carefully because you didn't write clearly, "being romantic" what does that MEAN for a woman to BE romantic to a man? So now I have spelled it twice out for you to get on track with the point of the question
it's ok to hide in your anonymous hole with your immature ad hominem whinges but when you can't answer with anything else it tells that you're just bloviating hot air up women's egos' with this eye rolling effort to "understand" they need to own up to the double standards they benefit from.
I try so hard. I appreciate knowing I'm not romantic. I guess planning date nights, checking in to make sure you've eaten, sending lengthy good morning and goodnight texts, and complimenting you isn't romantic. Damn. Dating is brutal.
They are the recipients of it not the providers of it though it should be the same all the way round. My wife has written little notes to me on pieces of cardboard that I have kept and carry them with me in my bag to work for over 2 years the same notes. THAT was romantic but she doesn't realise it but knows I have them BUT I don't think a lot of women actively make romantic gestures often in general especially when they're not in relationships
It’s absolutely true. You can search the entire breadth and depth of literature and art. The vast majority of love songs, poems and stories were written by men. Great works of art inspired by women, love and passion, mostly created by men. Most love story plays, movies & shows were written by men. Think of all the fantastic gestures including extravagant marriage proposals that you can possibly remember. They were almost certainly all orchestrated by men. This has always been the case, and it likely always will be. Anyone who would suggest otherwise is woefully ignorant or in denial.
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