Do you really believe the premise of the phrase "all the good ones are either taken or emotionally unavailable"?

Question

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

There’s an interesting misconception about the notion that “all the good ones are taken”. Let’s start with ‘duh’! Ell oh ell!
Similarly to how most private investigators who are hired to discover if a spouse is cheating or not actually finds that they’re cheating. Does this mean that everyone cheats? Nope. It means that by the time you suspect cheating, it’s likely true.
Same with “all the good ones are taken”. Yeah, someone found a suitable mate and locked them down! That’s what you’re supposed to do! Nobody starts off perfect. Everyone goes through changes to ultimately become a more ideal match for someone else. Maybe you just met them at the wrong time. You likely helped them come to one meaningful conclusion or another about what they needed and what they have to offer.
Also, not everyone is going to be perfect for everyone else. That “good one” that your neighbor found probably isn’t suitable for you at all! But they’re happy together and you let that only remind you that you haven’t found that happiness for yourself yet. Instead, you should be focused on making sure you’re the best possible version of yourself when your perfect mate finally wanders into your life. Otherwise you’ll be hoping that they stick around long enough for you to get your poop in a group.
If they don’t, your “all the good ones are taken” becomes a fallacy.
It’s not possible for all the good ones to be taken when so many of us have “the one that got away” stories.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

There's some truth to it, but definitely not entirely. And I'm saying this as a single guy at 31 (what's considered a bit late to marriage) so I'm part of the population I'm going to talk about.

People who have good personality traits, have their life figured out, are physically attractive, and have little to no "trauma" are people that are desired by most and cuffed pretty early on usually.

Those that do not fit into those categories are usually the leftovers. Either they don't have one or a few of the aspects I've mentioned above, or they chose to be single because no one fit their standards, in which case they're too picky.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

While it may feel like all the good ones are taken, sometimes its a waiting game. Your person might still be molding into your person via their own experiences (and failures).

People that have been cheated on, usually would never do that to another person cuz they know that pain. People who had the maturity to break up with someone for religious incompatibility might also want someone who has a similar journey and reached a similar conclusion. since so few of us end up with our first high school sweetheart, it's really all about finding someone whose emotional baggage (and resulting values) are compatible with your own.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

We are… unavailable one way or another. We’re not available for the common crap folks (guys and gals) tend to dish out nowadays. We’re not available to be treated like dispensable things… We know our value and look for another who also knows their value.

Avicenna · Answer

That’s generally true by a certain age even with just „taken“. But you can sometimes find a diamond in the rough.

Anonymous · Answer

I will tell you this as a VERY EXPERIENCED dater that just because you are married, it does not mean you are better. Just because you are single, it does not mean you are not good enough. Some of these married people are the WORST people I have ever met. Please don't just go make random impulsive assumptions.

BCRanger10 · Answer

No. The 30-year-old teenage girls saying that need to stop reading Salon and the Huffington Post and stop listening to Taylor Swift, and the guys need to stop listening to Andrew Tate and other red-pillers, get out there and touch grass and get to know real human beings.

Zack-Bann · Answer

It’s unfortunately statistically true  But it’s not a rule set in stone You can meet a good one who happens to he single and available thanks to circumstances  It is what it is

NicholasRedone · Answer

Nah @extraterrestrial1999 it's about luck, timing, and just plain "thank you, deity" or whoever the hell was in the clouds that day or the sky - 👀💟

slatyb · Answer

Not at 25. It's more true at 35, but there are good people who got into bad relationships. Both my wife and I were in abusive marriages, then divorced and met each other.

Nikki1989 · Answer

For the most part, yes.  People that remain single rarely have a good reason for it. This is why dating apps are full of losers or the socially awkward.

genericname85 · Answer

it's basically a bad excuse trying to legitimate to stop trying. it comes from bad dating experience and the fact is that the vast majority of people you meet won't be for you. figuring that nobody is for you is dumb.

Anonymous · Answer

After 25 for the most part yes. If you have not found a partner by 25 then take your time because you are definitely picking from second tier women at that point.

SotiCoto · Answer

Basically yes. Or geographically unavailable. Plenty of great catches in the world, but naturally most of them live hundreds or thousands of miles away.

Anonymous · Answer

A lot of the guys on campus who would be great catches already have girlfriends or are emotionally unavailable, which makes them not such great catches. So yeah, it’s true.

exitseven · Answer

there is some truth to it. It is more a function ot the fact that there are really not that many acceptable partners out there.

strateguy632 · Answer

Close but no, the good ones were already taken. Period.

Twalli · Answer

If he or she is good for multiple people, they're good for the first person they get. If that person is smart enough to realize this, they're not letting them go.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe it's a little bit exaggerated, but it's mostly true.

WonderingManII · Answer

Yeah wholeheartedly

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

There's a Blossom out there for this Brady.

Anonymous · Answer

Thoughts of depression.

Pohjolan · Answer

Depends on the local mating market.

UnwantedScorpio · Answer

I. Some local restaurants ions they are

Dongie · Answer

Of course not!

Do you really believe the premise of the phrase "all the good ones are either taken or emotionally unavailable"?

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