Be honest, what do you usually mean when you say there was no spark with a person?

[Anonymous]

They weren't confident enough, too hesitant, dull, etc

They weren't matching my energy like when I was romantic or flirting they didn't reciprocate or pick up on it, etc

There was something off putting about them or the vibe and I just don't wanna explain it

[SteveSmith1985]

What I mean when I say this... really is captured in the phrasing "there was no spark."

So, it means... They seem like a perfectly great partner. But you just don't have that..."spark".

So you DON'T find them dull, or too hesitant or anything. They seem nice, interesting, funny, attentive. But you just aren't excited in that romantic/sexual way, the way you should be... when you like someone.

It means "I don't know why I'm not more into them... there is really nothing to complain about. They are someone who has a lot of the qualities I'm looking for... but... nevertheless... I don't feel that excited romantic/sexual vibe". It's not the vibe being off in terms of timing. It's feelings.

It's the same as a crush. There is no reason for a having a crush on someone. There are other attractive people, but something is special to you, about the particular person you've got a crush on. That's the spark.

The other way to put it, is "butterflies" (like... butterflies in the stomach).

The idea being, you can often identify that "spark" feeling as "do you get butterflies" (because often you do, when you're talking to someone new who you feel that spark with."

It is something said, when there IS NOT anything really wrong with the person. But you just don't feel... that spark.

Now, people might lie and say this in some situation; where they are trying to spare someone's feelings in telling them "it's not going to work." But that's not usually the case. It usually means "there's nothing wrong with them. Nevertheless they didn't give me butterflies."

[DishLady]

So there are different TYPES of "spark" for me...

1. Soulmates (Friends Level): You feel like you've known this person your whole life, like you grew. up together or something... and it's a nice comfortable feeling of being "home" -- something clicks there. It's not sexy, not romantic, but it's strong and should be fostered.

2. Sexy Spark: You feel that vibe that physically sets you on fire from top to toe. It's the most thrilling sensation you can imagine.

3. Soulmates (SO Level): This one *includes* #1 and #2, but also goes beyond it. This is your person and you can feel that in every fibre of your being.

Now for there to be *nothing* between me and this other person... something has to be deeply unhinged with the other person. (Why do I say it this way? Bc I do try to find the silver lining in any association I make. For there to be *nothing* at all (or worse, a negative feeling) is a big deal.)

So what would I say... Hmm... Sometimes just nothing, because the person is not tied to any values or obligations I have. Sometimes just a direct "look, we don't have to be friends, you know?" so that they don't feel a sense of obligation to me either... bc if *I* am not feeling any spark typically the other person is not feeling anything either...

As a last resort, on the rare occasion that I *do* say I'm not interested in pursuing an association further and the other person *does* continue trying to connect with me, I just restate the obvious more firmly and walk away. (That's only happened one or two times my entire life. It VERY rarely comes to that.)

[Genie23]

Means I don't find them exciting. When I'm really into someone, I can't get enough of them even hours with them feels like minutes.

[Finchie40]

It means not interested in them , there is no chemistry and connection with them, I never said those words to a girl before , but that’s what it pretty much means. The passion and excitement isn’t there , they don’t give you the exciting feeling , they gave it a shot and realized nothing is there.

[Chazmatazz269]

I’ve literally never used those words. Unless it’s funny, i rarely utilize euphemisms. I prefer to be perfectly clear and direct in my communication.

[AviatorTom]

For me, "no spark" means I wasn't turned on or excited by anything they do, kinda like kissing your sister.

[Simslover92]

I didn't get butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

[Asker]

Stupid question, but do you need to feel butterflies in order to keep going out with them

[Simslover92]

No because it may come later on. It did for me twice.

[ArrowheadSW]

I chose the middle choice. Your energies don't quite match and there wasn't much of a sense that you'd make a good match. However I don't always go by that. Sometimes I'd give it another chance. It could just be that particular day things weren't quite clicking. But if it was actually a "negative" experience to meet that person (which has happened), then there wouldn't be a point to meeting a second time.

[PeachyPie93]

Usually there is something off with them that either I don't like or just makes me not see them as a long term partner. I need to like most things about them and they need to be in the age range I want or it just won't happen for me.

[Anonymous]

I'm just not feeling it from her. Either she's just not interested or she's just unwilling to convey any interest. Either way I'm not a dentist so i'm not going to waste my time pulling teeth with her.

a lot of women wonder why they don't get a callback from guys and this is the primary reason why.

[Nikki1989]

It typically means that there was a lack of immediate, exciting, or captivating chemistry, connection, or mutual attraction.

[MrChinaski]

To quote Bladerunner: Move on, move on, move on. Is what it means.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

They didn't seem particularly creative, nor into thinking, nor into kindness. Hence, no sparks felt for me.

[OneViewpoint]

There was no energy. No real physical attraction on either side. And she was boring, uninteresting, uninterested. Next...

[WhitneySnow]

Probably the last one, but it might just be that they would make a great friend but not a good romantic partner

[exitseven]

Sometimes even if a girl is hot looking if she has some weirdness about her it can be enough to make me run for the hills.

[MrChinaski]

It means you are boring and they see know future with you. It means they would prefer to be single than be with you.

[ProbablyClueless]

For me that almost always means that I tried to flirt with her but there was no reciprocation and the interaction just wasn't fun.

[slatyb]

We had nothing in common -- usually intellectually.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I've never used that phrase, its too cryptic, I'm far more direct when describing something.

[LiamJHayden]

For me it means her interests end with celebrity gossip, reality shows, and other superficial garbage.

[TacosRAwesome]

Honestly, probably a mix of all the three above. Voted for the middle one though.

[SotiCoto]

That my attempt to electrocute them was thwarted by a fuse / breaker somewhere.

[RedInnocent69]

They don’t have to match or pick up/reciprocate flirting, but it is about energy. They can be attractive, but you just don’t feel it.

[Anonymous]

Zero spark is probably some repulsion. Behavior is usually the culprit.

[Twalli]

It's not that I don't want to explain it. It's that there is something I can't explain

[Anonymous]

It usually means it wasn't love at first sight.

[FunkyMonkee]

Exactly what it means.

[Godihateyou]

She was fat