For you older folks, A "situationship" is a term used to describe a casual, undefined relationship, often lacking commitment, that exists between two people. It's characterized by mutual interest and engagement, but without the formality of a committed relationship or clear expectations about future plans.
I come from a more traditional culture so my idea of a relationship is there’s a courting stage where you go out and get to know one another, after that there’s a dating stage, and then hopefully if it works out ultimately you get married? But in our culture relationships are becoming so poisoned that my views are considered outdated, a lot of people have outright told me I’m “too young” to already be looking for something serious.
Sadly it’s just how society is today , I blame social media for playing a big part as to why people have these mindsets when it comes to meeting someone they are interested in that they find attractive. Unfortunately people have become very selfish and only want what they think is best for themselves, they like the benefits of having sex with someone without being committed to that someone , so they can have variety Sadly a lot of people have a hard time trusting each other these days mainly from all the shit they see and hear about on social media or wherever about how everyone cheats and don’t trust anyone nonsense. When I first started dating when I was younger and I met a beautiful girl my focus was just her , my head wasn’t filled with nonsense that she is going to cheat on me or betray me etc. I treated her the same way I wanted to be treated with trust and respect , sadly trust and respect pretty much went out the window when social media and cell phones became a priority into peoples’ lives , back in the day we didn’t walk around with cell phones with internet technology, so we weren’t bombarded by options and nonsense , we actually valued each other more in relationships back then. Nowadays long lasting relationships are like a thing of the past because people have become very selfish and only want what they feel is best for themselves. And only want things to go their way. After my wife and I separated and I entered back into the dating world , I was blown away by how much the dating world changed since I was out of it for so long. I was hooking up with girls’ that were liars , that told me they were single when really they weren’t , Mostly married women that I didn’t know were married. Or girls’ that had a boyfriend already. I feel technology is one of the main reasons people are this way these days. It’s sad. Now I no longer rush into relationships with girls’ primarily for this reason , I will be FWB’s with a girl with some strings attached until her and I really get to know each other and we both see the big picture before fully committing to each other because I am over having my heart shit on by lying selfish girls’ and I know girls’ deal with the same shit from guys’ as well, our society has sadly started entering Hell in a hand basket. People that are selfish should not being getting into relationships whatsoever , but it will never change , Finding someone loyal and faithful and honest these days is sadly hard to come by.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
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Modern Marriages Collapse Faster—Because They Come Late
Let’s talk about what nobody wants to admit:
The later a woman marries,
the harder she is to build with.
Because while the world praises “maturity” and “independence,”
real men know:
You don’t marry potential at its expiration date.
Let’s break it down:
—
1. Youth Means Flexibility—Age Means Resistance
A young woman comes into marriage fluid.
She’s teachable. She’s open. She adapts.
Not because she’s weak—
But because she hasn’t been hardened by life yet.
At 19, she learns through love.
At 29, she only learns through trauma.
By 30?
She’s no longer learning.
She’s negotiating.
And now every instruction feels like control.
Every correction sounds like oppression.
Every standard gets labeled as “toxic.”
You can’t lead someone who thinks they’ve already arrived.
—
2. Early Marriage Protects Fertility—And Your Future Bloodline
Science doesn’t lie.
The earlier she conceives,
the healthier her eggs.
The lower the risk of miscarriage, ADHD, and birth complications.
You don’t hear this in the media.
But even sperm damage can be offset by young, healthy eggs.
She’s not just your wife.
She’s the gatekeeper of your legacy.
And age is not kind to the gate.
—
3. She’s Not Bringing a Clean Slate—She’s Bringing a Resume of Regret
By 30, most modern women have:
– 12+ exes
– 5+ heartbreaks
– 3 years of therapy
– A list of emotional triggers
– A soul tired of trusting men
– A past funded by men better than you—and worse
Now you walk in as the cleanup crew.
You marry her leftovers.
You inherit a wounded soul packaged in soft glam.
And no matter how loving you are?
She can’t bond with you.
Because her heart is still haunted.
—
4. She Wasn’t Picked—She Settled
When a woman marries young,
she does so at her peak.
She was wanted.
Chosen.
Desirable.
And she sacrificed from the top of her value.
But when she marries late?
It’s not out of abundance.
It’s out of fatigue.
She’s not submitting.
She’s surrendering—because the streets stopped calling back.
And now you, the “good man,”
become her retirement plan.
Not her reward.
—
5. She’s Not Building With You—She’s Billing You From Day One
She doesn’t know your story.
Didn’t sacrifice in your grind.
Doesn’t understand your foundation.
But she demands protection…
Provision…
And prenup-free access to your life’s work.
She’s not entering a partnership.
She’s entering an inheritance.
And if it collapses?
She takes half—and posts about "reclaiming her peace."
—
6. Her History Is a Mystery—And You Pay the Price
Modern men are signing prenups not out of paranoia—
But survival.
You’re not marrying a blank page.
You’re marrying a woman with:
– Untold trauma
– Invisible scars
– High expectations
– No endurance
– And a legal system behind her
You can’t vet 15 years of dating history.
You’re walking into a maze with no map.
And when she taps out?
You get taxed for trusting too late.
—
7. When a Woman Marries Too Late—She’s Already Emotionally Retired
You can’t spark loyalty in someone who’s seen too much.
You can’t teach femininity to a woman who wore masculinity for 12 years.
You can’t start fresh with someone whose past is a landfill of emotional damage.
Late marriage turns relationships into negotiations.
Not commitment.
Not sacrifice.
Just trade-offs.
She gives you what’s left.
Then sets an exit strategy.
And you?
You’re just the landing pad.
—
Final Word: You Can’t Build a Kingdom on Expired Foundations
This is not hate.
It’s a warning.
Marry early.
Build while she's moldable.
Invest in someone who grows with you—not someone who's tired of failing elsewhere.
Because when you marry late?
You're not starting life.
You're inheriting her debt—emotional, financial, and spiritual.
Because no one wants to commit anymore. They're not willing to put in the work that is required to have a relationship. Building a foundation takes time and patience which not many in the new generation has. I blame social media for the way people especially young people are wired today. They see thirst traps and would rather go after that than build something long-lasting and worthwhile with one person.
The world has changed in so many ways. to me this just sounds like another Manipulation to get in a girls pants
If both people agree to it then in fine
We use to call them 1 night stands or weekend night stand
I think what your friends are telling you is you really just started life at 18. There are so many thing you should experience before you commit to someone
But I do understand where your coming from I was the same way * kinda* I think you should follow your heart it is the one thing you can always learn from either way it's not perfect there's going to be heart ache there's going to be ups and downs good times and bad times
But what ever way you do it do it the best you can do not hold back if it's not right do not second guess your self. Get out of it. . No matter what we do in life understand when it's good it's GOOD. When it's bad it's bad.. if you don't listen to yourself then it's really bad
And that's painful it's the pain that teaches us in that moment of all the hurt it's also teaching you the depth of love that you have to offer
No matter what we go through the lesson we learn there is also the opposite that we learn at the same time we just don't know it until the pain is gone
Is it? Is it more than before? Maybe? It's certainly hard to be sure without a good load of stats. I get it that you aim for a traditional approach but US does not seem to run out of trad views. I'd say they're increasing, when looking at the recent elections.
I'm not from your location, when I was young, courtship phase and dating phase were popular, marriage not. Marriage was a far away concept, and not a life goal. I doubt it changed, in any direction, but I wouldn't know. It's not as if I could have a true overview of an entire country. Also considering the size of US, it has to be even more impossible for you to get a clear picture, what you have is probably your surroundings. A very small sample, compared to the size of US population.
it's because everyone is so sensitive to their emotions that they lose their shit at the slightest "ick" or "red flag" and can't regulate those emotions to grow into resilient adults even though they ARE just that but don't want to exhibit those kind of behaviours because resilience is TOXIC nowadays.
SO everyone walks on eggshells around everyone, trying not to offend and when it's spotted there's an endless pile on of fuckery that drowns out the actual impact of what happened because everything is a "trauma!" and needs counselling. When it comes to relationships people can't handle other people so well as a result of fearing how they'll be judged (that's another thing with social media being the primary mode of communication among the under 35s these days. Screen time is dream time for a lot of them, it seems too.
A lot of people always want to have the best of both worlds with things. Get their sexual / intimate needs met but not risk the fall out of getting emotionally entangled.
in my opinion if you are not ready for a relationship then you should stay out of this. I used to be open minded about flings but now I’ve been around longer in finding that only further complicates peoples lives and ultimately leaves them empty and miserable.
Look , it's actually a really good scenario , BUT ( there is always a but ) , I've found its really difficult to be on exactly the same page , usually one is and one will not..
In my case , my situationship , I've known her 20 years , but her actions vary too much , so sometimes she will turn up and stay ( for too long ) then sometimes nothing , I'm just not sure she can handle the reality of it , where to me it just doesn't matter.
Gen Z aren't traditional, they're more free floating and tend to reason things out instead of just assuming. That's a good thing as long as something really bad doesn't happen to them such as the plague of wokeness. Personally I think gen Z is post woke for the most part, they may not have any assumptions that they consider immutable but they know how to wield reason, at least better than some woke loser would.
Cause much of Gen Z doesn't want commitment or a serious relationship.
It used to be about 3-5 years of relationship, then marriage. Now it's, 1-3 years of a situationship, 3-5 years of relationship, and then maybe marriage.
because we've destroyed any semblance of commitment, love, pride and sense of shame from relationships so now every just fucks everything that moves. Free love was a mistake since the 70s and it still is.
Isn't what you call the "courting stage" literally what the "dating stage" is for? I wouldn't know in any case. The cultural norm I grew up knowing was people basically jumping straight into relationships and sex right from day one. Usually with alcohol involved.
I guess that’s what it’s commonly used as meaning but i meant it like the stage when they’re trying to let you know they’re interested and then you start to hang out with eachother more so basically the stage before you’re officially in a committed relationship?
For you younger folks :P - we know, because we practiced it before you. Just under a different label.
Just like anything else of this insane century: there's NOTHING new or special about the latest generations. Other than an increased lack of creativity.
That's always been a thing just a new name for it. It seems more common nowadays with younger people because they're socially awkward from notcl having real genuine face to face interaction with others. Social media and fast internet made people dumber, socially awkward and gives them unrealistic expectations in life.
That’s probably the main type of relationship most guys are looking for anyway. PumpAndDump. If we are keeping it real right now. And that’s all ages not just older or younger cats. So hearing this don’t surprise me none.
Poor societal and cultural values. They want the pros without the consequences of a relationship and are too immature to have honest introspection. That has spread to multiple generations
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