Guys, what makes you want to commit to a girl and how soon after meeting her?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Morals, values, and life goals. Those are the primary factors that determine whether a relationship has long term potential or not. And I would say that it's also the primary reason that men disqualify women from consideration as a potential serious relationship partner.

Most women seem to think it's all about looks, but there are LOTS of beautiful, widely physically attractive women who will never be taken seriously by the vast majority of men as a relationship partner (though many of these men will pursue her for casual sex), and that's because of their morals, values, and life goals.

The things that women value in men are NOT the things that men value in women. Men do not care about your advanced education, your degree, your career, your income, or your independence, except to the extent that they are actively negative factors, but these things are important to most women about men, so women assume that they are important to men. They aren't.

Men value youth, innocence, purity, a LACK of experience (because he wants to be the first person to share special moments with you), femininity, cooperation, and being family oriented rather than career oriented. Men do not want to have to go out and battle the world and then have to come home and compete with their woman.

Feminism has taught women to BECOME the men that women want to be with, and to vote for rules and laws to disadvantage men in order to make that happen, and then are surprised that men don't want them. But men have not changed what they want - it's women who have changed, and who expected to still receive all the benefits of the patriarchy while also getting all the benefits of feminism, while somehow avoiding the responsibilities of either. But that's not how the world works, and that's why so many men have abandoned relationships, and some have abandoned women entirely. It's why, by the end of the decade, HALF of women under 40 will be single and childless.

Of course, women have near-complete control over the factors that men care about. They decide which morals and values to embrace and which to abandon, as well as what their priorities are. They know how to vastly increase their odds of success, but most are simply unwilling to make the necessary changes. Meanwhile, more men are actively educating other men about how modern relationships work and the consequences of their failures, which means more and more men are unwilling to compromise on morals and values, even if that means remaining single forever.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I’d like some qualification on “soon” being honest. There would be no “commitment” inside a year though , unless she lived in my pocket there is just no way I could know enough of her to make a choice like that , if she wanted commitment sooner then I’d likely back off.

For commitment , like most guys ( I think? ) I want to feel emotionally connected , A woman who gets me , my values and life goals and who generally agrees. She needs to be compatable , and generally in sync with me finish each others sentences etc. when I see that this woman has the ingredients of someone I can build a life with , the energy , the confidence , the sense of humor , etc - those that I share mostly. When you have those foundations it just gets better and better.

I have found that though , took me a while but the journey is at least as important as the result.

Sugar100 · Accepted Answer

I’m 27 and no guy wants comitt to me. I’m shy but romantic loving , nice , supportive , and men treat me bad.

fonduegirl · Accepted Answer

Age and job. Once he has a nice job, he wants regular sex. Past 40, he's too old to chase mini skirts

Finchie40 · Answer

Her beauty and personality and how great her and I’s chemistry and connection is together , finding a girl like that is worth committing to , so we both hopefully stay loyal and honest with each other so love can continue to grow between us. Relationships don’t have to be hard , Selfish people
Make them hard

Zack-Bann · Answer

If I can picture her sitting at the dinner table with my family putting smiles on their faces by just having a true personality and something real to talk about I would consider committing

Personal attraction is crucial as well.
But sometimes I’m personally attracted to a woman for my own selfish desires and these are not foundations to build a future on

We also need something bigger and more long lasting

I’m trying to build my own post modern empire so to speak.
And the true partner I would want is someone willing to be in my corner and help make it happen

Sometimes I think I ask for too much
But I can’t help not being able to settle

strateguy632 · Answer

If communication is good , and we know each other , for at least five months, and spent a full day together , several times to see reactions... in theory, commit, but with modern divorce rules, in courts, i would only marry a christian woman who was actually sincere about jesus and his teachings.

Miristheiss · Answer

She is virtuous, high character, very feminine, family oriented, marriage and kids are her main life goal.

Promiscuous party girls with tattoos and piercings, dumb and entitled, career is thei goal. Not a chance in hell I would have ever had anything to do with them.

BeechImFabulous · Answer

Usually a month of regular interaction is enough for me to tell if we'd be compatible in values and life expectations.

The hard part for me is finding a woman who wants to be exclusive. She'll want my attention but keep entertaining other dudes when I've made it clear that she is my main (and sometimes sole) focus.

Shiprex · Answer

What I look for is an honest and emotionally stable woman who has goals and shares similar values to me. One who is loyal and can show that she is able to clearly communicate her wishes and desires

Prin97 · Answer

Quite simply her personality. Yes, it’s always nice to have a girl who is a nice looking girl, but personality says a great deal more.

dragoblack · Answer

When she lets me be myself around her without judgement

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

What?  My hopes . How soon? A couple of months of  intensive contact .

tzdc21 · Answer

Her morales and values. How she portrays herself. And most importantly, how much she actually cares about you and how much she wants to be a part if your life

sawno · Answer

True, genuine compatibility. The how soon differs on how easy we bond which differs to how compatible we are.

exitseven · Answer

It is hard to describe. It was like knowing that I could spend the rest of my life with her.

Emmytexrex · Answer

Oh it takes a long time I have to see that the girl also wants the relationship like she showing signs putting effort before I will actually commit

Anonymous · Answer

I've only felt that way about one girl, and it wasn't something I chose to happen.

JB_Brady · Answer

Personally, I’d like to know within 3 months and then take the next year+ to make sure I’m 100% right.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

The way she looks and her personality and intelligence and how soon depends

dudeinohio · Answer

Good vibes. Compatibility. About 3 to 4 weeks.

jahaims · Answer

She's a good person who has mutual feelings for me

Anonymous · Answer

If she's my type of girl - at first sight ;)

MasterKS · Answer

No commitment, just casual.

Guys, what makes you want to commit to a girl and how soon after meeting her?

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Guys, what makes you want to commit to a girl and how soon after meeting her?

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