Ladies of GAG, How would you feel if your significant other needed to use calendar reminders to remind him of important things and dates?

[worldscolide]

For example, Appointments, Anniversaries, Birthdays and so on.

There is a story about a man whose wife got angry with him over needing to set reminders. her logic is "If he really cared about me, he wouldn't need the reminders" Like wtf man, the fact that he is making an active effort proves that he cares.

See attached image for the full story. Please note, this is not me. Its just something i saw and read.

My final thoughts on this. Any woman who would be upset that he is making an active effort to remember when he has memory difficulty, and making an effort to correct behaviors which would be bad for the relationship, is unworthy of said relationship.

[Genie23]

I wouldn't mind at all as I've learned something in the last 10 years is that I was stupid to stop setting reminders for important dates and things because I thought I'll remember them as those people and those events are important to me and when I couldn't. Many got angry and few got hurt because of that. I realised my memory is just really bad and it's going to get worse with age so I started setting reminders again recently and to be honest, I wouldn't mind if he sets reminders for my birthday or our anniversary because it's better than not even getting a "Happy. ___day" from him. It would make me upset if I keep waiting all day and he doesn't even know about it.

[SotiCoto]

Women seem to put more importance on these sorts of things.
I had to make it crystal clear in each of my previous relationships that I can't remember dates, and 90% of the time I don't even know what day of the week it is. I've forgotten what year it was a few times. Remembering birthdays is something I can only do if there is some other sort of significance to the event... like I know my daughter's birthday is St Patrick's Day, and my ex-wife's birthday was on an astrological cusp. I don't remember my sister's birthday though, nor my mother's.

In any case, all this obsession with birthdays and anniversaries is just pointless silliness. I've generally considered it something to avoid in past relationships.

[Summeroflove]

Every woman is different some women would be offended. Others would be glad he made the effort to remember such things.

From my perspective I would see it as cute and thoughtful that if a woman did this made this effort just to remember those things. As long as it wasn’t a huge secret for some reason

[DangerouslyCute]

I have adhd and because of attention deficit it's common for me to forget stuff like appointments or even job interviews :D... so I use calendar and reminders on daily basis...

but... I never forget birthdays :D and I ask people about their stuff because I'm genuinely interested... somehow I can't imagine forgetting to ask about how things are on their side...

if my partner put such things into calendar I could ask myself if he truly cares about me... if he needs a calendar to remind him to ask about my stuff...

[DishLady]

I'd say "ooof, finally". How does he think *I* remember all that junk? Reminders, fridge magnets, postits on the coffeemaker... It is what it is.

[worldscolide]

Damn right!

[DishLady]

Lol.

[fonduegirl]

Exactly. Women don't have super memory or anything. We just mark shit up

[TrueConfection]

I would be so happy if my husband cared enough to write my birthday on the calendar ❤️

[worldscolide]

Yeah but you're a normal rational thinking good woman.

[TrueConfection]

I appreciate that, but here I am on GaG 🤪

[sirderpsalot123]

She should just be happy to have someone who treats her well and puts in effort. Too many people end relationships over "problems" like this thinking they can do better, but end up up alone because dating is a joke finding one of the good ones isn't easy

[worldscolide]

Absolutely right

[fonduegirl]

I don't understand why women are upset about this coz calenders EXIST for that reason. Unless you have superpower or something, of course you can't remember these things

[Apple1996]

I guess it would depend like if he's just trying to have a reminder for like a appointment thats okay but if his memory was so bad couldnt remember my birthday or anniversary then id probably flip out lol the important dates at least would need to be memorized there's no excuses for that

[worldscolide]

What if he had brain damage from an accident? Or was autistic? Or just had a bad memory..

I have to tell you, there are only two dates that I remember in my own marriage, my wife's birthday, and our anniversary. Everything else has to have some kind of reminder.

[Apple1996]

My husband has had multiple TBIs that caused some memory loss but still I dont put up with him forgetting important dates. I just beat info into his head until he remembers it

[Kingofkings1992]

Some people just have really poor memory, to no fault of their own. To act as if he thinks you’re not important because he can’t remember specific dates is silly.

[Apple1996]

@Kingofkings1992 okay but birthdays gotta be remembered lol bare minimum stuff for me. I got the most common birthday in the world so my husband has no excuse 😆

[sage2021]

I don't see anything wrong with keeping a calendar and putting whatever the hell you want in YOUR calendar.
I mean, is he hurting anyone by doing that? Is it against the law to keep a calendar with dates that are important to a person? It's nobody's business if a person wants to keep a calendar. Period.

[avery58]

It would only bother me if he remembered important dates with his ex. Like if he remembered her birthday, and he needed a calendar to remember mine 🙂

[worldscolide]

Well I can definitely understand that

[AndrésC64]

That would never happen with me. I am or end of the scale. I think I actually obsessed too much over dates and anniversaries I still remember birthdays ex-girlfriends that I broke up with over 30 years ago. I guess I'm good at memorizing numbers. I still remember the social security number of my ex who I divorced over 20 years ago.

[fonduegirl]

How else are you supposed to remember these things? Lmao.

[worldscolide]

You're right. I don't think it's a lot of women who are like this. Just the few that are like this guys girlfriend. The entitled ones.

[fonduegirl]

Some women, including my mom, expect guys to be some kind of mind freak

[worldscolide]

dunno why, that only leads to disappointment

[fonduegirl]

Yes. So far, I've never been disappointed dating wise.

[worldscolide]

Well that's good

[midnightmoon05]

Great idea!! 💡

my hubby still forget sometimes… but no bid deal. It’s not the end of the world. We have a good laugh then move on… as long as he makes it up wink wink 😂

[Caroline91]

Everybody's brain works a little (or a lot) differently. I think him putting in that kind of effort to create the reminders shows how much it matters to him. I might get a good laugh out of it though.

[worldscolide]

honestly thats my take too. My wife agrees with you by the way. I do the same thing, cause my memory is pretty bad.

[spartan55]

Women don't understand that most guys don't remember shit like birthdays, anniversaries , Flag Day... and we 100% need a calender.

[WhitneySnow]

It wouldn’t bother me

[worldscolide]

Yeah I figured most rational, thinking, good women would not have issues with it.

I personally need reminders because my memory is shit.

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on every individual woman.

[katiesmuff]

That he is a very normal person!