Do you think you are the big prize in the dating world?

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you a trophy boyfriend or girlfriend?

If you are dating to find a long term partner, I think dating requires a healthy balance between self-confidence and humility. It is much easier to maintain standards and boundaries if you don't desperately need validation from others, but when excessive self-confidence is placed on display, it often looks like arrogance. . . and that is quite unattractive. So, how do you see/evaluate yourself as a potential partner for the opposite sex?

I am the best potential partner they will ever find and that should be immediately obvious and appreciated

I think I am a better than average potential partner, better than most of the guys/girls I have dated.

I think I am a better than average potential partner, but not better than most of the guys/girls I have dated.

I think I am an average potential partner, no better than most of the guys/girls I have dated.

I think I am a below average potential partner, but still better than most of the guys/girls I have dated.

I think I am a below average potential partner, no better than most of the guys/girls I have dated.

I think I am a very poor potential partner and I don't know why guys/girls would want to date me.

[DishLady]

Lol.


Technically no bc I don’t see myself that way. I’ve never been very big on dating unless the guy is really something to me, which takes time.


However folks have told me i am… quite a bit over the years. I always smile and thank them, but feel funny about being told I’m the prize when I literally don’t date.

[luvstoned4him]

Not really, I accept I have flaws and strengths. The real prize is meeting someone who am compatible with and build a long lasting , healthy relationship.

[luvstoned4him]

@OlderAndWiser thank you for MHO sir!

[OlderAndWiser]

You are welcome.

[luvstoned4him]

:) ...

[YourFutureEx]

I don't think I am the prize and I don't think I'd ever want to be one either. I only want a man-to-woman relationship (where we complement each other), not a prize-to-winner relationship (where one worships the other, creating an imbalance).

I am aware of the fact that a relationship cannot be 50-50. Most of the happy relationships are 60-40. But that difference isn't enough to make the dominant one a trophy.

I don't think I'll ever be "the best partner possible". There will always be richer men out there. There will always be a taller one. There will always be someone who punches harder. And most importantly, there will always be someone who's willing to put way more efforts than I do.
While I can be rich enough, tall enough, strong enough, I don't think I can be good enough, because that's a common complaint I've gotten over the years from my exes that I lack efforts and acknowledgement.

From my introspection, I am a firm believer that I'm a good person. I have never exploited anyone. And none of my exes can really elaborate any flaw in my character or morals or actions to anyone. When asked, their complaints have been very abstract and that only means that I'm like 80% of who I should have been and that disappointed them with their expectations of me. They cannot pinpoint the shortcomings because women don't do that thing and they want men to figure that out on their own, which I've always failed to do so. I mean I do make efforts. Even this post, I think I will be the one with the most amount of words.

"You don't care about my feelings" has been the tagline of my dating life, thich is totally not true. I do care. But I can somewhat understand as I believe that there's so much to explore and do in this life, leaving a little time for love.

While I cannot be a trophy, I can surely try to become the trophy base, providing support and structure in her life.

[WhiteBoyChill]

“You don’t care about my feelings” is a signature tagline for emotionally immature women that just want to be dramatic.

Don’t get me wrong you’re doing better than me by the sound of it but I think part of the issue might be with the women you are dating

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

There will always be richer, harder, better, stronger, cheaper, darker, any adjective with "er" as a suffix. However, I have all the reasons to think, from experience, that a balanced girl would not think in these terms. Because these terms are terms used by people competing with each other. The rest of the world does not confuse romance with fast and furious franchise

[YourFutureEx]

@WhiteBoyChill you're right. It was me who was chasing the trophies. I knew from the get go that those women have red flags but they were conventionally attractive so, I was desperate and got them at all cost, ignoring the risks. I should try to date better women before jumping on conclusions.

@Maybe_Maybe_not true. Women don't end the relationships because there's a better man out there. There will always be one. Women would want to make the current relationship work because of sunk cost fallacy. They only take the step when the relationship has flaws, not the man.

[Apple1996]

Yeah to my husband im a prize.

Also I dont agree with what you wrote because at least as a woman I catch myself often being attracted to arrogance/being cocky. Humility comes off as insecure and weak so i never been attracted to that. I acutally label those men as losers tbh like be proud of yourself and show it off especially when dating

[OlderAndWiser]

I understand that some women have that perception but I don't know that is is extremely common. That will be my next poll!

[Apple1996]

Yeah i think its more common then you might think. At least behind closed doors we'd rather have a guy that's kind of cocky. Im sure some women aren't noticing but its also like the dominant/selfish man thing in bed. Players also get all the women and have that cocky attitude. It kind of comes in some different forms

[OlderAndWiser]

And most women raise their boys to not have a cocky or arrogant attitude!

[Apple1996]

As a boy mom I've never heard of that before. I've more had to tell my boys its okay to be that way because if not they'll gey pushed around especially by girls

[Apple1996]

get*

[WhiteBoyChill]

At least you’re honest. A lot of women feel the same way you do, but won’t admit it publicly

[OlderAndWiser]

Girls, do you prefer a man who is quietly confident, or one who is openly cocky or arrogant? ↗

[Apple1996]

@WhiteBoyChill yeah probably not a lot of women will admit it but the cocky men grab womens attention way more

[NathanDavis]

I know that I am a good partner for those who I would be compatible with... as I've been a good partner with those I've been compatible with before

nobody is a prize, and nobody is perfectly good and fine for absolutely everyone else there so of course I don't see myself this way, that would just be unrealistic

but good, yes... and it will be great, once I find someone compatible again who in addition, will be willing and ready to move out with me to somewhere else cold !!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

[Zack-Bann]

If I’m being pragmatic about it: yes
I tick all the boxes of the biggest prize there is


But reality is far less pragmatic.
Dating is very much an emotional exercise based on personal taste and preferences


And as such no I am not ghe biggest prize there is.
It’s a matter of who will appreciate what I bring forward and who doesn’t

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I think I am somewhat better than average, and I strive to improve more and more. I don't consider myself a prize, but I'd like to leave at least a positive impression/memory on the people I date.

That said, as of now I'm not interested in long term things or relationships. Friendly and casual frequentations are okay, but nothing more than that.

[Sunrising]

I'm definitely World Cup standard, though I'm still to win one.

In the past I've been unsuccessful in finding a partner, but at present I'm not actively searching for one, because I want to be in a position were I can give a relationship my full attention.

[Agape93]

Nope. I'm a bitch, I don't feel or understand much. I'm hard to love.

[OlderAndWiser]

I respect your honesty, but. . . you are also fiercely loyal and non-judgmental. Those are great qualities to find in a partner.

[Agape93]

True. Mental illness does have it's benefits too.

[LazerBean]

I think I am the best potential partner that my husband would have ever found, and I also think that he is the best potential partner that I could have ever found. And I also think that in general, both of us are exceptional.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

People looking at themselves and the world, like prizes and trophies, I believe they deserve to loose. And if they don't, then I still believe they do, because a world of prizes must be perceived as a world of loneliness.

[Anonymous]

I am. But I also think the woman that would match with me is rare. So rare that she is most likely already in a relationship and the guy is smart enough not to let her get away. So single I'll probably always be.👍

[Likes2drive]

I think now at this point in my life that I am better than average potential than most of the women I’ve dated

[LiamJHayden]

I am closer to a nightmare. I don't cheat or abuse, but I am quick to end things over what most might consider minor slights.

[DrPepper12]

Stultifyingly average or horrifically unmarketable. I don't know

[worldscolide]

My wife says i am, and that is all that matters.

[FenixG45]

Yet another reason, you are the @Apple1996 of my eye!

[AngryCarl2]

If I was a lottery no one would buy a ticket.

[Staximus]

I'm kind of big but I don't know about being a prize haha

[Bloodparadise]

I just need to get a life..😂

For real 😯

[Panthero80]

I would hope I seem like a prize to my girlfriend, but to think like that seems egotistical.

[Anonymous]

I'm not really an optimist when it comes to dating.

[exitseven]

I am better than the average bear

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks, Yogi!

[andreasderjuengere]

I'm more the... participation trophy :)

[WonderingManII]

Just to keep it easy, I say No.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Nah, I’m just an average guy

[Neliii1234]

Yesssss

[WhiteBoyChill]

Granted you’re 13 so I’d never date you but, in what ways are you “the big prize”

I’d be interested to know your way of thinking