What do you think of “what do you bring to the table?” as a question early on in the dating process?

[DreamCrescent]

Someone just mentioned this “controversial question” in a response to a different question i’d posted. when is this question ever appropriate? how many of you use it?

To be posted under DATING category. Not GAG

[Shiprex]

It's an interesting question that , for me would show me how much self reflection and awareness a woman has about herself and her good and bad points. It would also bring out the seriousness of time commitment to the process. I don't want to fk around as some placeholder or worse on a "roster" as women are advised to have.

It also allows her character and unflappability (that's not confidence but assuredness). If she gets offended then she's a bit of a wet flannel and that's an ick.

[msc545]

If I was asked that question I would respond "it was myself" and get up and leave. That question was hostile and off-putting.

[DreamCrescent]

see? yep i thought the same

thank you for your reply

[msc545]

Did someone actually ask you that?

[DreamCrescent]

no. or not yet, at least
someone replied a survey i’d posted on here about dating red flags to use this question. and if the answer is such and such then THAT’s a red flag

[DonaldDarko]

You can't get rid of that though, ultimately it's about reproduction. It's a job. That's why looks come into it, money comes into it and a lot of other things that shouldn't be there in a friendship. It's just never going to be pure because of the alterior motive of reproduction. Romance and love are a veneer we cover it with but it isn't true. It's actually dehumanizing.

[msc545]

This is a very peculiar take on the whole thing. I dispute the idea that it's about reproduction. I think it's definitely about sexual intercourse, but sexual intercourse doesn't imply reproduction necessarily accepting the most parochial view. I think it's sufficient to say that the majority of sexual intercourse does not result in pregnancy both by choice and by chance.

[Genie23]

If my date ask me that, I wouldn't take him seriously anymore as it's so ridiculous that he is asking me rather than see it for himself and I don't want a man who treats his potential partner like he's trying to do a business deal. I'd just shake my head and leave.

[DreamCrescent]

that’s totally fair. i’d shut down as well and be turned off

[Genie23]

Yeah, if he's questioning your value, he's not worth it.

[On_cloud_wine]

Nobody asks that! Ewww

[DreamCrescent]

agree 🤮

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[Zack-Bann]

Until we’ve broken the table right after breaking the bed frame i don’t care what anyone brings to anything


A relationship isn’t supposed to be a business transaction.
It’s supposed to be a wild and primal experience


Even when building for stability and longevity

[DreamCrescent]

okay. very interesting way to answer the question.
but i get you

[RHK36]

I'll bring it up if she's already acting entitled and questioning what I do without offering anything of what they do in return. People nowadays act very entitled.

[DreamCrescent]

you don’t like being asked “what do you do?”

[DonaldDarko]

Sounds like a job interview. Not exactly romantic but then that's what the whole thing is, a job.

[Ariesman81]

I'll ask it if I sense the woman has extreme entitlement issues. It's a great way to end a date with a woman who expects to receive without giving. As evidence by the female responses here.

[DreamCrescent]

lol i think based on responses from both men and women, this isn’t an ideal question when getting to know someone

[Ariesman81]

It reveals way more than you think

[DJB72]

If she asks my reply is "you first"

[Caroline91]

I AM the table. lol

[DreamCrescent]

i meeeeeaaan 🫤

the question itself is off-putting. add that response and now we have outright hostility