What do men expect women to say when they ask “What do you bring to the table”?

[Anonymous]

A common question alpha male influencers keep asking women is what they bring to the table. The issue is no answer is ever sufficent to them. Beauty? Too shallow. Kindness, faith, nurturing? Should be expected so it apparently doesn't count (Even though those are clearly virtues many don't have.) Cooking and homemaking skills? Not good enough. Good salary? Men don't care about that.

The only thing I've seen counted as valuable was a low body count but as a low body count woman with no previous partners the only man who said these things is highly experienced which I find unattractive because it shows a flaw in morals. How do men expect women to answer that question?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I always saw it as a dumb and extremely materialistic question, but I always liked Sephora speaking to Moses about Jethro's daughters in Ten Commandments:

>> Our hands are not so soft, but they can serve. Our bodies not so white, but they are strong. Our lips are not perfume, but they speak the truth. Love is not an art to us... It's life to us. We are not dressed in gold, and fine linen. Strength and honor are our clothing. Our tents are not the columned halls of Egypt, but our children play happily before them. We can offer you little... but we offer all we have.

That's so amazing. I would never ask such a shallow question but I'd be so impressed by this eloquent answer.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That scene always moved me so much as a boy and I find Sephora so much more beautiful than Princess Nefertari that way as a contrast between virtues vs. material.

So again, I would never ask this type of question, but an answer focusing on your virtues would be the one that impressed me most, and not body count or cooking skills or beauty or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

It's a poorly worded question. what can you bring to the relationship besides sex is a better way to word it, and I think it's a fair question.

Society expects men to be able to provide. Women also seem to expect men to entertain, protect and support them.

I've found a lot of women are so focused on what they want from a relationship they don't think about how they support the team. Any woman can provide sex so that's not enough for many men.

Will she give me kids someday? Will she be a good role model to our daughter? Does she cook? Is she a good communicator? I could keep going. There's plenty of things outside of sex that a woman can offer a man, but when they are asked many will freeze and apparently all they think they're good for is sex.

[Asker]

I don’t think any woman thinks all they are good for is sex and everyone men and women typically have to assess what they can bring to a relationship. Any healthy person does including women. My issue is why is no answer sufficient for most men, what do they want to hear?

[Opinion Owner]

I've met women who think the only thing they have to offer is sex and her looks.

I have never seen/read a man say her answer isn't sufficient unless it really isn't a sufficient answer. Women usually won't even answer the question to begin with.

[Asker]

I think you are seeking out shallow women. I’ve heard of a woman who wanted to be loved for her body over her mind. Honestly, it’s an offensive question because most women view a date as a match for compatibility and love not a table transaction where they’ll be measured up and assessed. I don’t do that to men, men shouldn’t do that to women. Aside from that even here i’ve heard men say answers like cooking and virtue or homemaking weren’t sufficient but either way we just have different views. Thank you for the reply

[Asker]

never heard of a woman* Most women want to be deeply emotionally and intellectually understood.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess I just don't see it as transactional. It's just figuring out if the two of you are compatible. For me, at least. But I don't deny that some men probably ask this question with intent to offend women.

No problem! Agreeing to disagree is always an option and I do see where you're coming from. I don't doubt that some men only ask women this question to piss them off. You're right, no answer will be sufficient for those kind of men.
But anyways, have a good night!

[Anonymous]

You don’t answer questions like this. If a man is too dull to see the value in you, he can go date his male friend? Don’t fall into the trap of selling your value to an idiot too dull to see it.. let alone, deserve it.

[IslaTheWitch]

I would say - get to know me better and see by yourself.

[BonzoInBitburg]

It's a way of asking someone what their green flags are when they think the other person has none. A good man is not going to ask that question to a good woman with obvious green flags