When do you think to call someone your girlfriend/boyfriend?

[DishLady]

Bestowing the title of "boyfriend" on anyone has always been a hard sell for me. I don't want the clingy obsessed guy but I don't want the noncommittal player either. The true gentlemen are few and far between, particularly in my zipcode, and so... I'm content to have "just friends" gatherings till the end of time and to heckle those who settle for very flawed unions, allow unsavory "situationships" etc.

No, I don't have a fairytale laundry list of qualities a guy SHOULD have. I just figure... I'll know when I know.

But one or two guys have stood out of the pack over the past year and my friends have been commenting and asking which of these guys will be my boyfriend.

(Honestly? I don't know... the title tends to strike me as being more meaningful bc I don't want a "for now" guy, I want the "for keeps" guy. I'm not sure why the concept is such a challenge to understand.)

[worldscolide]

Usually, when I miss her. I work a lot, so every chance I get to take a break, I send her text messages.

Fun secret. My wife is a volleyball and softball official. Occasionally she has to leave for work over night. It's hard for me to sleep without her. So she leaves me her body pillow, which smells like her, and it halps me sleep. Thankfully this kind of thing only happens once or twice a year, cause she dislikes being away from me as much as I do.

[DishLady]

Aww! You are SUCH a sweetie pie. Your wife is a super lucky gal.

I was asking a much more basic question about *naming* someone boyfriend/girlfriend. But honestly this answer made me catch my breath.

[worldscolide]

Aw thank you!

[Iron_Man]

when you put the time in and you feel it in your heart then you ask the girl would you like to go steady with me lol thats an old school statement

[DishLady]

Yes! “Go steady” was the way a gal used to be asked. Used to be so much easier to know where we stood back in those days. Now 🤷🏻‍♀️.

[Iron_Man]

When I was a child around 9 years old, I remember to this very day a man talking to my older sister about his relative and introducing him to her saying this is Freddie and he’s going steady like he’s trying to get them fixed up like Freddy wants to go steady and get a girlfriend. My sister didn’t like that and she was making jokes about it after to me and my cousin.

[DishLady]

It was the term my elder cousins used instead of "boyfriend" bc we weren't allowed "boyfriends" at home. It was considered inappropriate.

[Iron_Man]

Right

[Iron_Man]

Thank you so much for most helpful Award. Somo told me today you said I was a nice guy

[Iron_Man]

somebody

[DishLady]

I think I told you that you were a nice guy, lol.

[Iron_Man]

perhaps so , but somebody told me that today

[OlderAndWiser]

I would not have more than three dates with a lady unless I could envision a future with her. Of course, that doesn't mean that I am "in love" at that point; it does mean that I feel a combination of lust and like. It also means that I am beginning to see some reasons to respect her and I am not seeing any red flags which would suggest a lack of trustworthiness. So, if I have made it that far with a lady, I would prefer to date exclusively and I would probably have the talk with her about dating exclusively.

That has happened four times in the last 17 years, so I have had plenty of one-and-done's and, at this point in my life, I know what I want in a partner and I am fairly good (not perfect, as one of those four was a serious mistake) at recognizing it when I see it.

[HawkPerception]

It's very simple. I ask them if they want to call it official. It doesn't matter if it's the first date or if it's 6 months into seeing them. It's whenever I feel it.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I don't, and don't have the intention any time soon.

I am okay with girl friends (separated) with whom I can go out on dates, spend pleasant times together, go to events with, sleep with. But I am not committing to a relationship anytime soon, I make this clear from the start and don't lead anyone on.

[DishLady]

And that’s something you have to clarify often?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Not really because I am not a f*ckboy either. I did this mistake too often when I was younger, to jump from a relationship right into another, and even got married after 1 and 1/2 year of relationship (though we knew each other for years and she was my senior in school).
Now I'm divorced and wiser about it.

[DishLady]

Ah! I understand now. Thanks for clarifying.

[exitseven]

When I was a kid I always wanted to be somebody's boyfriend. Maybe that had something to do with it.

[DishLady]

When I was a kid boyfriends weren’t allowed! I went from single to fiancé/wife. My first-ever boyfriend was a guy I went out with after my divorce. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[exitseven]

Only the cool kids had girlfriends. I used to watch them holding hands in the hall between classes and writing Joey ❤️Mary on their book covers. They would drive with the girl sitting in the middle of the bench seat right next to her boyfriend. I thought it would be really amazing to have something like that.
I had my first girlfriend when I away to college and it really was awesome.

[DishLady]

My gosh YES! 😂

[Spencer10]

I think at the point both agree its an exclusive thing.

[Spencer10]

Oh and also the point where I can introduce her as "my girlfriend" and she does not flinch.

[DishLady]

Flinch? Aww! What kind of crazy would flinch? Come on Spence...

[Spencer10]

Oh it happens. If I miss-read the room and she was not at that point yet... no offense. taken

[DishLady]

Hmm. I don't know. I mean, if you've been going out for a while and you'd discussed it... there shouldn't be flinching, right? It seems odd.

[Spencer10]

Oh... yeah I missed out some info. You have not discussed it yet. It just comes out... maybe premature. But if she does not flinch you have your answer.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I never had to question or negotiate that. As soon as we're both aware of our respective feelings, then I'm her boyfriend and she is my boyfriend. It's unambiguous. It's been like this for almost 30 years so I doubt it will change lol

[Sam1133]

I don't call anyone girlfriend until she became my wife...
Till the time we're best friends 🧡

[DishLady]

Sweet. :)

[Likes2drive]

Usually when he considers you his girlfriend also, so I guess it depends on who says it first when they feel like you’re the one they are going to be exclusive with

[slatyb]

When it's expected that we will be together, and we're not seeing others.

[Zack-Bann]

I feel like the only reason to have a title is to hold off any other potential suitor


As soon as I’m telling a guy “fuck off she’s mine” that means she’s my girlfriend going forward (assuming she approves that is)

[Ms_Facesitter]

When you straddle him, grab him by the shoulders, shake him violently and go "SO WHAT ARE WE?"

[talka20]

I would say if both have said it verbally or in a written form on some card as a gesture etc

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I've never been in a relationship.

[someone_2002]

When adult stuff starts between both

[Anonymous]

Hey at your age settle for what you can get