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I 25f have a massive crush on 29m coworker. He's so sweet he's timid and shy but he's just so damn adorable and handsome. The fucking man has infested my damn dreams at this point I think about him constantly. Don't get me wrong he's single but he deserves way better than anything I could ever be for him.
What can I do to kill this damn feeling and no I can't avoid him we work next to each other
You're being mean to yourself for no reason. Don't do that. Be kind to yourself.
Think about how amazing it is that you have this strong affection for him. Think about how beautiful that is.
Think about how happy he would be if he liked you too and he found out you liked him. Or how flattered he would be if he didn't share your feelings, but you told him.
If some guy liked you, and he could be your type or not, wouldn't you want him to take the shot?
Be good to yourself. Stop saying you aren't good enough for this guy that your heart has clearly tagged as "super interesting".
I'm not being mean to myself.
Do I think about him every minute of the day yes do I see his shy little smile every time I close my eyes yes. Do I want to make him feel confident in something and see his sleepy little smile in the morning definitely. Do I deserve any of that absolutely not.
He's extremely smart and handsome but to shy to realize just how attractive he is I called him cool the other day and he did the cutest little stutter asking if I thought he was cool.
And his eyes are this wonderful melt your icy heart shade of brown. I've never seen a face that looked so comforting and kind.
But I don't think Even likes me as a friend and I'd never act on my feelings but I guess that doesn't mean I can't fantasize
That basically would be me and after being around women i sometimes think why try I'm very attractive man told by every girl don't believe it anymore but i just don’t know how to flirt and I'm teaching my self i been rejected 10 times in a day trying to get the right words out. just go up to him and ask what do you do on your weekend you want to hang out and its subtle that will give him a big hint and he will say if has a girlfriend or not and then just playfully push him when you guys hang out and its subtle should take off
Then Just ask if he's doing ok like do you need someone to talk to as a friend about how you feel last girl said that to me and i was like a deer in headlights thinking no way she could actually care about me its almost been a year and i reflect on that moment like that was so cool otherwise bless your soul seriously , lol that would be me again your response except cheating part since i been firefighter so long i was to busy now im trying again
See here's the thing when I'm nervous I can't shut up so I actually talk to him a lot like every time I see him. I know his favorite food his favorite drink his favorite movie even what he missed the most from his past relationship.
I told him I thought he was cool that I loved his nervous smile and his eyes were warm and comforting.
I got him his favorite soda one day and was thinking about bringing my intendo switch with me to work and seeing if he wants to play a few rounds since I know he likes video games.
But I feel hard for this shy little man and I don't know how to stop it
You have amazing traits as a woman please just let him no that you want to be friends but say hey could i help you get a girlfriend somehow or hows your dating life going could i help with anything if you did all that to me acts of kindness i would think wow she actually likes me then if i ask and you reject me im going to jump in the hole not just keep trying to climb out of it confidence and timid wise
I know he hasn't really tried dating again.
I know I've told him that I think he's great and even told him that I think he's interesting. Occasionally he gets nervous if you didn't hear him so he says never mind but I don't let him do that I tell him don't never mind me I want to hear what you have to say.
He's playing a video game I know he wants to talk to me about so I spent my entire day off playing so I could understand what he's talking about. And read one of his favorite books because I wanted a better understanding of what he enjoyed.
I want him to be able to hold his head up because he's an amazing person and should be proud.
I want to hold his hand when he's nervous and I have to fight the urge all the time.
He startled me and I flinched because he tried to get a sticker out of my hair once. He was just so close it made me nervous
I know he told me what he missed most was the little bit of confidence his past relationship gave him that it made him feel normal
You make a great mother and wife you dont understand how rare of a women you are i been around 100s of women in my career fields and never really been around someone like you maybe once a flying star so just be like hey we should go and see if we can find you a girl im attractive firefighter lost my confidence something bad happened to me i go out and get rejected because i don’t no the right words to say its rough a lot of us guys get rejected so freaking much then get to a first date then ghosted or cheated on its messes us up
You are deserving, always! But if you want to stop having feelings for him, l distract yourself with activities that take your full attention. Join a pottery class or gym for example, go out with friends. Fixate on someone else perhaps. Think about his negative traits.
Can't he's just so sweet and adorable. I lagit got between him a customer who was being a bitch to him.
He's like 5'7 really skinny and timid and shy but he's really intelligent and so sweet and has very handsome face warm comforting brown eyes and the sweetest nervous smile and I love it when he gives me a honest to God laugh the foolish man trys to help me all the time and comes to find me to ensure I go to break he even sets the pallets down softly because he knows I damage to my ears and the sound hurts.
I'm not sure when I slipped down the fucking hill but I just keep falling and can't get a grip
Honestly, from my experience with crushes (which I was guilty of forming crushes really easily growing up), it is either time that makes the feelings go away, or them doing something that turns you off from them
Opinion
10Opinion
Just... deconstruct the feeling? It is chemicals in your brain trying to flood you with pointless feelings in order to... achieve... what? Mating? It is the operating system of animals. Are you just going to let fuzzy chemical manipulation dictate your fate? It is the same as trying to think rationally when you're drunk. Mind over matter.
And failing that, simply commit to the idea that it is a dead end. Not happening. No matter what. If you mentally NOPE away the feelings hard every time they pop up then sooner or later your body will adapt and give up.
I’m curious why, if you’re both single, do you want to get rid of the crush? You’re an adult, not a high school kid. If you’re that attracted to him, why not ask him to get together outside of work and see what does or doesn’t develop?
I wish I could tell you. I have a crush on a girl that I probably will never see again. It has existed since 2016.
Focus on your job. You are paid to work, not fuck your coworkers.
If the urge does not go away take a bucket of ice cold water and shove your head in it. That should cool you down.
Zoloft could be of help.
Hold on. Full stop. Why don’t you think you’re good enough for him?
I mean I'm medicated and I got myself some books to try and improve my intelligence Don't get me wrong I passed high school but I'm still stupid
They tried to get me in to see a therapist but they never called not like it really matters what's done is done I can only try to be better in the future
Shouldn't it be his choice as to what he wants, if you like him that much , be aggressive , ask him out, if he's that shy he'll be grateful.
What makes you think what you have to offer isn't what he wants?
Why do u feel insecure about not being enough
You have too much free time that allows you to think too much. Find some new healthy distractions
Talk to him!!!
Keep talking to him. I bet he likes you back.
Why do you think he doesn’t?
He's very shy and hard to read I tried inviting him to see Jurassic Park.
He didn't say yes but he didn't say no he just kinda deflected the question
So I just assumed that was a yah no
But then he sat by me at lunch then a few days later asked if I went and seen the movie like I wanted to
He was too shy to say yes. Some guys are REALLY shy.
I don't think that's it. I know he sets pallets down softly but I don't know if it's because he himself doesn't like the sound of because he knows there's damage to my ears and I flinch when I hear it.
He helped me with my bracelet once when I asked him to assist me.
I thought about asking why he doesn't drop the pallets like everyone else
I think he’s definitely into you. Or at least cares about your feelings.
I'm not sure I know I'm the only one at work who knows anything about him it's not that he's not interesting or that he doesn't have stories he just requires you to ask him and since I've met him I have asked him questions every day he's done a lot of amazing things he just doesn't have any confidence and I see his nervous little smile every time I close my eyes and it's freaking infuriating
Trust me! He really likes you.
Trust me. He likes you. Just keep doing what you’re doing.
Follow your crush. If you like him go for it.
It's never a good idea to fuck your coworkers
Find a new crush.
You have to control your feelings and emotions
why would you want to?
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