Am I an asshole for not wanting a pizza date?

[Anonymous]

Im turning 30 in a few months, worked hard throughout my youth to become very financially well off. Just refuse to go on Dumpling or pizza or McDonald's dates anymore. This type of stuff is what 19 to 20 yr olds do on dates. I feel like I have outgrown this type of stuff. I can afford myself and my date at a very nice restaurant with good ambiance and amazing food. Am I being an asshole for wanting this? I just feel like I have worked too hard in life to be going on a date at McDonald's

[Anonymous]

It depends. I don’t like McDonalds much so I’d never take her there to begin w lol pizza for sure. If you like the dude then you’ll go w him regardless of where it is. I don’t get women basing a potential good relationship w a man based on how much he spends on you. I get how you feel as far as you having earned it after all these years. But at the same time it sounds superficial. A lot of women talk about being strong, independent but they’re not willing to be the bread winner of the relationship. They usually want a male who makes as much as them or more so he can still take care of a majority of the bills. There are a lot of men who make way less then a lot of women, but that doesn’t mean they’re lazy. You have men like my father who works 6 days a week, long hours. When he’s home he’s never still cause he’s always working on something or building something for my mom. One of those jack of all trades type of men. But for some reason women seem to equate a man making less than her as he’s lazy. Who knows maybe he makes a lot. Maybe he doesn’t want to spend a lot of a female until he knows she worth it just the same as women who won’t sleep w a potential partner on the first date cause they want to make sure he’s worth sleeping w. Which is crazy to me cause a lot of women sleep w dudes they have no intentions of being serious w but make the dude they want to be serious w wait. So him not spending much money on a first date may be his version of holding out on sex w her till he knows she’s worth it. A lot of men have no problem w dating women who make more then them. What the problem is is how these women act when they make more money. Especially when an argument happens. I don’t need you I make more then you. You’re not even a man. A real man would pay for this and that and everything else. That’s what women who make more money usually tend to do as far as what they throw at the man. She’s usually more argumentative, displays male like qualities.

[Opinion Owner]

So my question to you is how much does your potential partner have to make? I completely get not wanting to be w someone who’s lazy. I don’t think any of us wants a partner like that. But I think you’re going to miss out on a lot of potentially good relationships if you’re disqualifying men because they make less than you. And if II’m being honest you’re not exactly young in the dating scene as far as what men are usually drawn to age wise. I’m assuming you want to get married, maybe have a couple kids. What we talking about another 2-5 years for all that assuming the next man you meet is the right one. So unless you’re some really hot woman, your chances of meeting someone have gone down dramatically. So it might not be a good idea to disqualify all those men who make less then you if that’s your preference. But that’s up to you. I still go to those places for dates w my wife, yes it’s different she’s my wife now, but we still go there because it reminds us of being little kids. I don’t think you should ever let that little kid inside of you go away completely. Yes there’s a time and a place for all that. If you’re interested in how much I make cause someone’s probably going to say he probably makes $50,000 a year, no I make a little over double that amount. Sure that’s not a lot lot but that’s plenty for us w just me working.

[Asker]

@opinionowner

Being financially stable is good for children. Someone who has worked hard to be financially stable shows he cares about providing for his children well

A financially unstable man who want kids is someone who does NOT CARE about his own children

There is nothing amazing about being broke. Only broke people call other broke people amazing. I grew up under poverty and suffered tremendously due to it

[Opinion Owner]

So the. Maybe you should have said financially stable. You sound as though you want a man to make as much as you do. Plenty of people make less than you but are still financially stable. Sure this is about future kids but I think it’s more about you, you’re like most
Women who want the man to make the same or more. That is your preference, just hope it doesn’t take too long to meet someone.

[Asker]

@opinionowner

Being financially stable is good for the kids...

No woman should applaud a man for being financially unprepared to provide for his kids

Its a top sign that he is either lazy or does not give a shit about his kids.

No parent who loves their children would want to be financially unstable for them

[Opinion Owner]

Being financially unstable doesn’t mean you don’t care about your kids. I’m sure you as you say growing up in poverty have seen plenty of families, including fathers who were financially unstable but did whatever they could for their kids. I’ve also seen it growing up like you. I’ve also seen a lot of dads who didn’t take care of their kids who had a lot of money even though the father was still in the relationship. Lack of finances doesn’t mean you care less about your kids. If that’s so then you’re saying your mother as well as your father didn’t care about you. I don’t see how this should just fall on the man if you’re saying a lack of finances on a man’s part means he doesn’t care about his kids. I live in a state where there’s many illegals who have put their kids into some of the best schools but can’t afford to stop working cause they haven’t saved much all these years. So yes they’re financially unstable so that means they don’t love their kid. Life happens.

[Asker]

@opinionowner

Did you know my parents couldnt afford to buy me a new pair of glasses when my glasses broke? I couldnt read for a whole month while I was at school. Not only that, my parents beat me for my glasses breaking

Financial instability causes a lot of stress for parents leading them to abuse their children

Plus my parents couldnt pay for my college education at all.

Raising a kid without money means a child without a future. Hope for a child like this is slim to none

[Asker]

You can't save up for your childrens education if you can't even buy them basic necessities

There were 3 years when I was a teenager where I spent 3 winters without an adequately warm jacket.

No child deserves to be raised this way. It is TRAUMATIC for children

[Opinion Owner]

I think this is more about your security, not the children’s. It’s just an excuse for you. People raise children all the time making very little. Having money doesn’t solve everything. Some people even say it’s worse having all that money cause it makes more problems as well.

[Asker]

@opinionowner

Yea poor people raise kids without money all the time. Thats why deadbeat parents raise deadbeat kids. Its not fair to your children

Yes it is also about me. I want a more comfortable life, more stress free life being a parent which is why I worked so hard to become financially stable

Its idiotic for you to act like wanting a better life is a crime. You want it too but you're just too lazy and dumb to get ahead.

[Asker]

[Some people even say it’s worse having all that money cause it makes more problems as well.]

More money doesn't equal more problems. More money only creates more problems for those who dont know how to manage their money

But for poor people, your life will SUCK regardless of how well you manage your money. How do I know this? I have been broke.

[Opinion Owner]

lol this is why you can’t talk to women cause women start getting their feelings hurt. Rather then have a conversation you start assuming I’m lazy and I’m dumb. Far from both. But I’ll let you assume that. And no I didn’t get my feelings hurt if that’s what you’re thinking. This is why men can’t be honest w women cause there’s usually no logic, just feelings. But it was nice talking to you. I’ve killed off the rest of my dumb brain cells talking to you lol good luck w finding a man if you can. I doubt it but I’ll hope for the best for you lol

[Asker]

@opinionowner

Quit projecting.

Why would my feelings be hurt?

The fact that I have built a comfortable life for myself?

The fact I know my kids won't have a traumatic, miserable childhood?

Im doing whats best for my kids and myself

I dont need lazy haters on here hating on me for me and my kids living a better life.

Have a good day

[Opinion Owner]

lol you don’t have kids. W that attitude you won’t have them later either cause men will surely steer clear of you.

[Asker]

@opinionowner

smart men gravitate towards smart women. dumb men gravitate toward dumb women.

sounds like dumb is your only path in life.

[Opinion Owner]

Could be. I mean I’m gravitating toward you so….

[Asker]

@opinionowner

I don't give a fuck about a troll like you

I have no respect for people who don't respect intelligence, hard work or success or the wellbeing of their children

Way too many lazy assholes who won't do anything else in life but demand that other people give them things and about how they should be entitled to things.

[Opinion Owner]

For someone who says you don’t give a fuck yu sure are spending a lot of time responding so maybe you do care

[Asker]

@opinionowner

I do enjoy responding to you. Just to make sure you understand how dumb you are. And its clear by this point, that you DO understand how idiotic you are

[Opinion Owner]

Well usually when people argue w idiots as you say I am you’ve stooped to their level so what’s that say about you lol as intelligent as you try to make yourself sound you’ve gone to a level that only an idiot would do. People who know better know there’s no point in arguing w an idiot.

[Asker]

@opinionowner

if you love your children, you would do the right thing and make enough money to afford them a decent childhood.

there are plenty of parents who don't love their children

[Opinion Owner]

Well good luck to you. I’m out. Was nice telling to you lol

[Asker]

@opinionowner

it was surely nice of you trying to prove how dumb you are

[Opinion Owner]

Says the leftover woman lol

[Pohjolan]

Are we talking about first or second date?

If first date then yes that's a pretty high demand.

Guys don't want to reserve seats at some higher tier restaurant only for her not to show up or to be catfish.

Unless you are fine with say sushi or kebab.

[Asker]

Really doesn't need to be high end. But recently I have been encountering lotta guys who want to go get pizza or dumplings or fast food for first date. I can't help but be turned off by going to these kid date places. These are places 16 to 20 yr olds go to dates on

[Nikki1989]

A high-quality pizza establishment is worlds away from just another crap McDonald's dump.

[WhitneySnow]

If it makes you happy you’re entitled to reject pizza dates

[ohsheeT]

Lol no your not you take 5 years old to get pizza on there birthdays

You get taken to a place where you need a reservation. You eat good to celebrate your your life and success for thirty years

then to a club or movie or where or what ever you want to do

[Levin]

I mean, McDonalds is fairly tacky and childish. Pizza could be okay depending on the context, what about an Italian restaurant?

It's all context dependent.

But I don't know. Seems you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about this. Men don't really care about how financially well off you are.

Just want someone we can chill with, with good moral values. I don't like pretense and I would rather someone down to earth who is inwardly good. Rather than someone who is concerned with outward show. Sounds like something deeper going on here.

[Asker]

Having money gets you better food, service, more respect, earlier retirement, a more enjoyable life. It goes wayy beyond just an outward show. It might seem like I have a chip on my shoulder but I have worked tremendously hard and suffered a lot for a better life

Sorry if I offended you in any way. I just had to clairfy any misunderstanding

[Ask105]

Were like same age and I learned recently that what’s common sense to you may need to be communicated with the person your with inner feelings into words so be like hey we should go here together i can split the bill etc most guys dont make it pass the 1st date so there not gonna go crazy if your 2 or 3 or more in become a player in his life and be like hey i want to buy you something at the pizza place probably blow his head off hearing that

[Asker]

I'm afraid to do so, because what if he can't afford it?
I'd rather just reject the date entirely than tell him I want a more expensive classier place.
I have went on tons of pizza and McDonalds dates as a teenager... I'm really not up for that at my age.

[Ask105]

I have a great idea why don't you pay for it and show a man tiny bit of love plus if he makes at least 20 hour you two can share a 30 dollar meal like i said where the same age what i worry is that mind frame could lead till your 40 with no results 2 and 3 dates i personally do nicer stuff with her because women give up on us pretty quick… i encourage you to make a rational decision and learn to communicate say all pay 15 you pay 15 before you hit the red button were just people at the end of the day i myself don’t take myself to get coffee or to go to breakfast so i feel like sometimes its special to me that i do it with a girl and since you been on so many dates you need to start filtering the men your with and figure out your priorities 40 is around the corner for us new to dating i been doing Fire for most my adult life and to talk to my guy friends and to come back to this stuff sucks but i learned like i said very recently say how you feel because thats how long term relationships work im working on finding a woman thats has old traditional values so i filter like aMF

[Ask105]

I actually no women are like this so i just say hey whats a spot you like even tho i know i still gotta do all the right acting to secure a second date

[Asker]

@ask105

I dont believe in buying food for people im not yet in a relationship with. he's a stranger and im meeting him for the first time.

I would love to spend on my lover once we are head over heels in love but I dont want to be the one always spending while he's the one who can never spend on me. Thats the only issue. Its not fair to me.

[Ask105]

Good luck to both of us all I gotta say

[Anonymous]

Those places seem fine for just getting to know someone, but I don't think I would ever plan a date around McDonald's. A local dumpling or pizza place is fine. I'm very frugal person, I wouldn't take someone I just getting to know somewhere expensive.

[Asker]

there is no class in having a date at mcdonalds or pizza place.

[Opinion Owner]

I disagree. There are plenty of nice local pizza places that serve good food. I'm not talking about Domino's.

[Anonymous]

Possibly. It all depends on your history and communication. You might have to just accept your relationship has run it's course. People change as a couple or thier relationship doesn't last. And that means BOTH of you.

[BarryLiverstone]

When he suggested pizza, you could have said another place right?

[Asker]

I'm afraid to do so, because what if he can't afford it?
I'd rather just reject the date entirely than tell him I want a more expensive classier place.
I have went on tons of pizza and McDonalds dates as a teenager... I'm really not up for that at my age.

[BarryLiverstone]

If he can’t afford to take you to the outback or to chilis, I assume you don’t want to date him anyway. But maybe from his perspective pizza by the beach is a casual first date much like meeting for coffee.. the next date can be a sit down restaurant

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way I’ve never taken someone to McDonald’s for a date. In college we went to IHOP, that’s the same?

[Asker]

I'd be open to coffee for first date. But i'm not gonna do coffee dates for EVERY date.
And if he can't afford a sit down at a Restautant date, I wouldn't want to impose that on him.
I didn't work so hard in life just so that I can't even afford to at a decent restaurant.
There is no class to a pizza or mcdonalds date...

[BarryLiverstone]

Of course, who would want coffee dates all the time? I don’t even enjoy coffee. You can mix up dates from a nice sit down to a picnic or cook at home.

[BarryLiverstone]

When you said pizza date I thought you just meant the first meetup

[Asker]

Ihop is maybe half a step better than mcdonalds. But ihop really sounds like a place where families take their kids out to breakfast on a weekend morning. Its really not seen as an ideal date spot.

At some point in life, we are grown ups and we want to dress up and experience good food with a good ambiance. And be classy grown up adults.

Not eating fried chicken at popeyes with sticy greasy fingers and call it a date

[BarryLiverstone]

I was just replying to your McDonald’s point and saying my first date was at like 2 am to ihop as freshman in college after talking for an hour on the skate ramp. Like you are saying a month later when I took her to an Italian restaurant in the city and surprised her with an off Broadway show to her fav play, that was a grown up date

[Asker]

Nothing wrong with mcdonalds or ihop date as a teenager. But at some point, you're supposed to out grow that.

Just the same way you watch cartoons on tv as a kid... at some point you won't find that stuff interesting anymore.

[BarryLiverstone]

Except South Park right? Because last week south parks episode was funny :)

[BarryLiverstone]

Actually, one summer I met with a friend and we went to the beach and hung out that morning. Got some food and I took for a long walk around the neighborhood where I grew up relying all kinds of stories as we passed by places.. turns out later on she tells me it was one of the best dates she’s ever been on. I get it, as adults we grow up. Just saying a date doesn’t have to be very expensive

[Asker]

Best dates can also depend on how great the conversation was.

A date can also be good if you talk to someone very interesting in a homeless shelter or a dumpster.

do you get what I mean?

[BarryLiverstone]

Yup, although a dumpster seems smelly. Might be better to take a walk and shower off after the dumpster before resuming the date in a more comfy spot

[Asker]

certain things we just outgrow in life.

[seeyounexttuesday]

I doubt many are asking you out in the first place.

[Asker]

If men weren't asking me out on dates, i wouldn't be asking this question

Don't impose your own insecurities onto others

[seeyounexttuesday]

You’re the one only worth a happy meal lol

[Asker]

@seeyounexttuesday

Im sorry I offended you

[Ariesman81]

Arby's then. But I'll kill you if touch my Jalapeno Bites.

[jahaims]

Those are the quality of men you attract.