What defines a high value woman?

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend said I was a high value woman, he ended up cheating on me. And he was insanely insecure. Why would he say that but end up cheating on me?

[ODC2112]

The high value of a woman or a man, from the opposite perspective, is purely subjective. What is of high value to one person may be of little value to another.

For me, a high-value woman is one who does not live in a world of drama and is therefore mentally balanced. A mentally balanced person tends to handle situations calmly, avoiding unnecessary conflicts or excessive reactions. This implies excellent self-control and constructive communication, without easily falling into arguments or offenses. Therefore, she does not fuel conflicts unnecessarily, maintains a calm attitude, and does not let herself be overwhelmed by anxiety. A positive orientation toward things suggests a constructive outlook, which likely translates into resilience and the ability to identify solutions rather than focusing on problems.

Regarding relationships, they work as long as both partners act without asking for or expecting anything in return, thus creating an authentic bond based on spontaneous reciprocity.

The introduction of expectations can transform the relationship into a sort of transaction where every gesture is measured, risking the undermining of trust and intimacy.

This doesn't mean that needs or wants shouldn't be expressed, but maybe the focus should be on giving for pleasure, not keeping score. When one partner gives and the other takes, it creates a vulnerable situation that can lead to tension, resentment, or betrayal.

This imbalance can erode mutual trust and respect, pushing one partner to seek elsewhere what they feel is missing. Maintaining a balance, where both contribute authentically without keeping score, seems essential for a healthy relationship.

[Summeroflove]

Number one being cheated on doesn’t determine your value as a woman or a human being in general. Cheaters will cheat on you if you’re the best women (or man) in the world.

As for me it’s a woman who has character and values. Traits like being humble, having integrity, loyalty, honesty, courage, and things of that nature that makes a woman high value to me.

Being a person of value isn’t out of someone’s control. Narcissists may have superficial and materialistic definitions of what high value is but they wouldn’t know value if it hit them in the face

[Vevv123]

I find people that use the term “high value women” or have similar ideologies are people that are so surprised by good qualities in people because they themselves lack them.

Another reason I observed is that someone who values family and their relationship is going to find it harder to leave a man even if he’s bad, so these men that cheat and abuse target these women that have these “high value” qualities because they know how attached they can get and how valuable relationships are for them. These men get the best of all worlds, they get to cheat and be lustful while having someone that will stand by their side, have warm food waiting, a clean home, etc.

[Vevv123]

But anyways, everyone is valuable in this world, every man and woman, and only you can define your value, no one else.

[DishLady]

You define yourself (male or female). If you SEE YOURSELF as high value, then you are.

High value is simply someone who is confident enough to speak their mind and be consistent, persevere, and not fall prey to low-value actions (like gossip or lying or anything unsavory). That's it.

There are high-value people who are dead broke so it's not a money thing.

(There are also very low-value bougie entitled brats who are rolling in money... so it's DEFINITELY not a money thing.)

[ohsheeT]

How a man treats you. If he doesn't treat you like you are a high valued women. Dont be with him

[Avicenna]

Cheating is a reflection of insecurity, somit makes total sense

[2_beHappy]

Well, the fact that he cheated on you depended entirely on him, to be honest. You didn t do anything wrong, God knows what an high value woman means in his head, but that doesn t justify the fact that he cheated.
In my opinion, though, an high value woman usually (and I repeat, usually) refers to a woman who either holds herself to high standards, doesn t accept something (or someone) so easily, unless it benefits her in the long run, or simply a woman who requires a lot , whether that would be money, emotions or other stuff.

[Purpleronnie]

Your ex boyfriend is an idiot not just for cheating but as he clearly doesn’t understand what is meant by a high value woman. Either that or he somehow doesn’t beleive he is worthy and so cheated on you to prove it which I can’t even get my head around.


A high value woman could be seen as one who is confident and respectful , emotionally mature , has integrity , a good listener , is authentic and speaks her mind , courageous , loves herself , accepts her flaws , supportive , caring and not judgmental and practices self care.


You will find many who have and promote different definitions , the above is based on lived experience.

[OneViewpoint]

Why would he say that and then cheat on you? Because you were hanging out with an insecure man-baby who was simply repeating words he heard on the internet. He probably wasn't the brightest candle on the birthday cake.

What defines a high value woman?

• A fit body
• A sense of style
• Curiosity
• A sense of humor
• A thirst for life
• High Intelligence
• Empathy
• Knowledge
• A strong work ethic
• Introspective thought
• Accountability
• High social IQ
• Sensible risk taking

That sort of stuff.

[Summeroflove]

I can see it now “what about women who stay home what about a work ethic”…. A woman whose ambitious abojt her family and works her ass off equally as hard as her husband in a different role.

Someone whose willing and able to work if needed however both spouses determined this at the time is the most beneficial.

No man with self respect wants a woman whose too focused on getting her hair and nails done sitting around all day being a princess who doesn’t contribute anything.

[jshm2]

Value doesn't mean "treasured".

Many people will drive a Lamborghini or other high value sports car - and wrap it round a pole. Whereas some will treasure it, and rarely drive it.

You're confusing "value" with "care". Not all guys care for the women in their lives. It can be a habit or trait in their personality, But it's one of the first things you should be ascertaining about any partner. i. e. do they have bad habits in attachment and relationships - you clearly didn't.

Just like some people will not give a fuck how valuable something is, they will treat it with contempt. It's up to you to ensure they either do not fuck with you, or understand what you value, is something greater than them.

[RavVid]

Nature and character.

I put a lot of stock in her being genuinely nice as I think that is an umbrella for a lot of desirable traits. In terms of the physical just good enough for me to be aroused by her. The key quality is to be slender but even that is a character trait as it is easy to eat more than needed and to be slender takes moderation.

I don't care about what she does for work or her income.

As for why your boyfriend cheated I don't think we can say. Men have traditionally told women they are beautiful because we know they like hearing that; it is a social lubricant. Maybe he was using 'high value' in that same old way?

We need to know more and probably more than you yourself know. I can only think that she had something you didn't. It could have merely been a vagina his penis hadn't previously explored and he didn't have the character to resist.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I can't really guess as to why your ex cheated on you, but I think high value can be gauged by the benefits outweighing the costs for the man. Like a woman that just brings stress isn't a plus even if she's the sexiest looking thing ever. One factor like education a career isn't viewed in the same way that women see that in men (I mean how many women are going to take care of all the expenses so that I can stay at home?), and it's usually a negative thing because she's doing what all day?

In short... generally looking good (takes care of herself), and brings the man peace and calm is high value. Notice all those women on those tiktok videos bitching about men and/or not finding men are a headache just to listen to. For some reason they think their bitching is entertainment worthy and then wonder why they have man problems. It's because they don't bring peace and calm... they bring arguments, drama, and stress... even if they are sexy as hell.

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

Because he was playing you like a yo-yo. You grabbed onto that compliment, and it caused you to trust him. It's like guys who propose within the first 2 weeks to 3 months. They are insecure and scared you will leave them and it's their way to get you to commit and not leave bc you blindly trust them now bc you think they are committed to you since they like you so much. Meanwhile...

[TrimmedTip]

A "high-value woman" is often defined by her confidence, self-respect, integrity, and emotional maturity.

But your ex’s actions weren’t about your value—they were about his insecurity. Sometimes people praise what they feel they don’t deserve, then self-sabotage. His cheating reflects his character, not your worth. You remained high-value; he chose to act low-value.

[Clear_Skies10]

Different people have different values, so what they value in a partner can be different. For me a high value person is honest, dependable, loving, sincere, caring, loyal, and someone who values me and our relationship above going out partying, drinking, cheating, or doing other things that make the relationship difficult for their partner.

[mysteriousNicholas]

Hmm perhaps he meant you were a wonderful, classy, beautiful looking and humble soul. Yes it is terrible when relationships don't last or fall apart however as the old saying goes with humble calmness in time one should " get back on the horse" and breathe and relax and that life carries on for new relationships new beginnings and if you need consider a counsellor of course

[Shiprex]

No excuse for cheating on you but if he was insecure he probably didn't get the vibe from you that you wouldn't move on and upgrade some time in the future so he emotionally bailed out then physically took the steps. Sorry but that's a disadvantage of being a catch, everyone wants a piece of you and guys don't go for the constant need to compete after they've gotten a woman to choose them.

[ProbablyClueless]

Insecurity wreaks absolute havoc in people's lives. But to answer your question, a high value woman would be someone who is dependable and spiritually/emotionally nourishing to interact with. A respectful woman with strong boundaries and a strong sense of purpose.

[Anonymous]

Believe it or not, a high value woman does NOT have the same characteristics as a high value man. Because believe it or not, and contrary to what shit stain feminists tell you, men and women value different things.

A high value woman is family oriented, low body count, more pure, more innocent, loyal, kind, intelligent, knows how to run and manage a home. Has a good family background (meaning good relationship with both parents). Knows when to let her husband lead, while at the same time knows when to stand up I'd correction is needed.

There are other factors but that's the gist of it. Notice how I didn't mention career or education? Neither items matter to most men.

[Opinion Owner]

And yeah he cheated because he was insecure. That's one of the reasons a man will cheat. He will also cheat if he is forced to live in a dead bedroom.

[Alex_Bright]

I wouldn't dwell on titles that are given by insecure people. They would say whatever.

As for the question itself, my own definition of a high value woman is someone who is emotionally mature, shows kindness even in difficult situations despite bad experiences, and manages to build herself a stable life.

[Kelley1]

Age 22 or less. No tattoos or piercings except ear lobes. Above average intelligence. Raised by both parents in a working-class, middle-class, or above family. Conservative behavior and well thought of by family, neighbors, and teachers. Bilateral symmetry, athletic, small waist to hip ratio, smooth clear skin, and a youthful appearance.

[Ascendant_Bias69]

A high value woman, to me, is someone who appreciates you as you are, but also helps you be a better person. Someone who uplifts you, helps you find motivation to improve yourself both on a professional and personal level. Someone who supports you during the highs and lows of life. Basically, the same thing that make a man high value. If both partners uplift each other, it makes for a very healthy relationship.

[WhitneySnow]

Loyal in all ways, monogamous, capable of supporting her partner but also expecting their support in return, has he own career, even if that career is just being a homemaker

[WhitneySnow]

Her own career

[Ask105]

All the high value stuff is getting outta hand ignore those things people say he cheated on because he doesn’t care about you sorry that happened im would be devastated but i never cheated on a woman and its not even in my mind to i believe you picked the wrong guy

[Ask105]

Dont let that define you i say all the time there's only about 1 percent of women or even men left that when the two of them meet its those 50 year marriage till death

[dragoblack]

One that brings a man peace & comfort in who he is, regardless of moments of vulnerability & weakness and regardless of what he is into & enjoys; one that is honest, loyal, & communicates what she wants; isn't manipulative or abusive, and works on her insecurities; and one who is willing to be herself openly. Women who encompass all of that are insanely rare, and highly sought after, which is what makes her high value

[Alex-Snow]

You can do better. Better to have that relationship behind you. How was your sex life with him? Is that what he cheated?

[Asker]

We had sex like twice a day 😂 he seemed to be very satisfied

[Alex-Snow]

Why would a guy cheat if he was having sex twice day... go figure

[Anonymous]

The answer depends on the man and what he values. But in general, for men who are family oriented and want to find a like minded woman too marry and settle down and make a good life together, the important things are that she is genuine, loving, caring, nurturing, unselfish, loyal, and sexual.

[Nikki1989]

Never ask a man that question.

As you have just discovered, a man will always say what they think the woman wants to hear, and often women fall victim to their lies.

[Staximus]

He ended up cheating on you because he's a piece of shit, which has nothing to do with your value as a woman. A high value woman could be different things to different men, depending on what they want and need. If you're a poor dirt farmer, your high value woman will help you take care of the dirt farm. If you're a big shot businessman, your high value woman will be a good host and elegant for public functions and hobnob with the snobs and other big shot big wigs

[Vegasrunner]

That's a pretty easy question. He said this because he understood it would appease your ego. He didn't "cheat" on you he simply exercised options, he only cheated if he wasn't providing for you. There is no such thing as a HV women in SMV terms, woman are measured by the caliber of man they can retain.

[Unycorn]

Forget about it - some say these things just to hurt someone or that you focus on you and not his cheating. Close the chapter and go on!

[nawtee_me]

Value is determined by that person and not by what others think. At least no confident person would let others have that kind of control over them. If you are seeking acceptance from others then that is where your value lies….

[Julia21]

To be self-reliant and independent, to engage in self-development

[RHK36]

Because he lied to you. You believing his lies and still not comprehending his intentions behind it let me know you aren't high value otherwise you wouldn't have been so easily bamboozled.

[Chelsdope0]

A woman who is unapologetically herself. She bows to no man.

[JoshSimmer]

Ya your not high value women. Would you define yourself as a feminist or traditionalist? The way you just trash men to the end of the sentence gives impression you think you above men. Respect goes both way. Men "bow" when they want something, and women do the same. You need to humble yourself when you need to so sometimes you need help him more.

[Chelsdope0]

@JoshSimmer mmm k

[LiamJHayden]

No idea how others see it. If she brings peace rather than manufactured drama she's high value to me.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Godly fearing christian woman.

Smart.

Willing to be submissive to her husband.

Respectful.

Kind.

Good looking.

[soe11]

• Five fingers are not same.
• Every finger prints are not same.
• The value is to build together.
• You should thanks to God he left from your life.

[WhiteThought]

A high value woman is a feminine woman. Many women think that they are very feminine, but they are not. In America, a lot of women, possibly the majority of women, are a bit too masculine.

[Cherryblossomfairy]

No there r hardly any masculine women :(. I have a thing for them and can hardly find any

[WhiteThought]

@Cherryblossomfairy There are a lot of masculine women. If you can't fine them, then you don't know what you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

I guess he didn't value you as highly as he said.

[Anonymous]

You just answered your own question , cuz he’s insecure

[noohair]

Because there is no such thing as a high value woman, with men, a woman is like a slice of pie, they want to try as many different slices as they can...

[Dargil]

A 50's and 60's Trad Wife. If she looks like her, all the better.

[Anonymous]

Combination of beauty and personality.

Your boyfriend is not a good person.

[McSteamy]

Your social status is irrelevant when it comes to cheating.. people cheat because they find something new and gets attracted to it.

[afnan169]

Beautiful , loving caring type of girl and feminine voice and behavior .
Also not having major red flag mindsets

[Slim57]

Loyal, intelligent, understanding, caring, open-minded, kind, hardworking and can support herself

[MannMitAntworten]

She comes with a hefty dowry versus a healthy sum of debt.

[DishLady]

Oh my…

[Ironco]

A lady who doesn't put her narcissistic personality first... let's the guy speak form his heart, and she actually listens.

[DishLady]

She knows the difference btwn a guy speaking from his heart or from elsewhere… She knows HOW to listen and not waste her time.

[Ariesman81]

You were probably behaving when he said that. He cheated when you weren't.

[Anonymous]

Loyalty, honesty, and kindness. Players always love you when they are playing.

[Blackcat1952]

I don't care about that A high value woman. What did you do

[Anonymous]

Nobody is perfect and everyone is susceptible to a fall. The idea of high value is an illusion.

[Rides_Big_Guys]

Her high value friends and supports !

[beefcakebradybatson]

Intelligence, honour, character, loyalty.

[Anonymous]

Men cheat for easier. Not better

[Iron_Man]

hid words are garbage

[Iron_Man]

his….

[Anonymous]

A drew tate fan. Creating warped americans

[blackeagle007]

One who’s not a Trump voter

[CherryLove007]

@blackeagle007 accurate... the derogatory word is Trunt

[blackeagle007]

@CherryLove007 Agreed. Encourages tariffs to make prices soar higher than now. Looken for a newer vehicle and auto industry is a victim of Trump

[jahaims]

Mature, attractive, no hoe phase

[FenixG45]

WDAF is a "high value" woman?

[FenixG45]

I NEVER called ANY woman "high value", like Rolls Royce or a Maybach. STOOPID! I HAVE called some women attractive, because they were intelligent, funny, caring, honest, loyal, private and openminded!

[Kingofkings1992]

High value women don’t exist

[omvishwakarmaa]

Live own life own style

[Anonymous]

Don't be a slut like he is.

[DishLady]

Here here. The guy didn’t deserve you.