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Please read before answering:
Okay, I have Facebook and I tried out "Facebook dating" for the first time in my life 2 weeks ago-and during that time-this guy (let's call him Tom) said that he was attracted to me and gave me a thumbs up on my dating profile-but I wasn't sure what I thought of him so I didn't intitially respond.
Also, I deleted the dating account after 2 days because I kept on running into creeps who found me attractive but only wanted immediate $ex, which I refuse to agree to because I'm a Christian and not a whore.
Anyway, after this "Tom" keeps showing up in my "people you may know" at the top of the list (which usually means a person is looking at your profile more than other people) and I looked at his, and got to know more about him and realized he seems actually like a nice guy.
I know he's attracted to me because he said so in that Facebook dating kind of way, and I think I like him too.
What is YOUR advice? Should I friend him, see if he adds me and then message him and see how it goes from there?
(I don't want to get our mutual friends involved-I want to handle this directly with the guy because I'm not a child who gets my friends involved in stuff like this.)
What Guys Said
No guts, no glory. Just add him and message him. I used to talk to all kinds of random women on Facebook just for fun.
Did they all react differently? Like, were some of them offended or ignored you?
There were some different reactions. I remember a local woman who didn't seem very interested in talking to me. I remember talking to a random black woman from the States (I live in Canada). She was really good looking. I told her how beautiful she is, and that I just wanted to look at her forever. She seemed surprised by me and she said that I'm a really good person, lol. Then I messaged a white woman in the military that was stationed somewhere. She had all kinds of time to talk. She turned out to be very sweet and she kinda seemed like she wanted a relationship with me. She was literally on the other side of the world. I had to end that situation, and I felt like a jerk for even messaging her. Basically I learned that I can talk to anyone, but there's consequences to starting all these online conversations with women. I learned to only pursue people in my local area. Before that I honestly had more online relationships with women than I can even remember. One of them lasted for 2 years.
I appreciate your response! Canadians are cool in my opinion, its almost like an extension of America except with some differences, and I live in America (the states). I'm going to try to pursue things with this guy!
That's great!
I hope it works out. 🙂
In case you're curious: he accepted my friend request, I reached out to him and told him I liked him and that I'm taking a leap of faith basically, and he told me he finds me very attractive and is glad I took that leap THEN layer he says he's not looking for a relationship and that he's "kind of seeing someone"... I feel stupid for reaching out. I really thought he liked me. Maybe he DOES but he feels obligated to the current relationship?
Aww, I'm sorry if it wasn't everything you had hoped for. I'm proud of you for having the confidence to take that leap of faith. At least you made some progress in the situation, and you know where he stands.
Thanks a lot!
One thing I should've mentioned is to message him, but possibly take it slow. Just say hi and try to be friends first. Some people get overwhelmed if anyone comes on too strong. There's nuances to it. However I don't know what he's thinking. He very well could be talking to someone else right now. Either way, he didn't take advantage of an amazing opportunity to be with you. It's his loss. There's lots of other people out there for you.
I don't think I ever saw this till now!! Thanks for your advice. Basically, he ended up telling me that I'm "very attractive" but that he's not looking for a relationship right now and that he "kind of has a thing" for someone else... it was awkward and its possible that I did come on too strong. oh well. I was never truly "interested" in him, but was flirting to try to get over a guy I have feelings for and it didn't really help the situation...
Oh, apparently I already told you all that before. Oops. Did not remember...
No, I don't think it's weird. Just do it, then invite him to lunch or dinner or whatever.