Has anyone else felt like they are messed up to date?

[Anonymous]

I have PTSD social anxiety disorder BPD and clinical depression. I take medication. I've seen a therapist since I was 13 I'm 41 now. I see myself as a huge neon red flag to women and I don't know how to think differently.

[Zack-Bann]

No offense but this is a byproduct of the first world practice of sending a 13 year old kid to therapy


You were exposed to a lot of sadness and told it to feel it


It’s just like me saying “don’t think of a pink elephant”
It’s exactly what you’ll think of


At 13 you should be running around playing sports making friends getting hurt, healing and learning on your own


And then once you’re older and more jaded you can begin to explore your feelings and experiences in a structured manner as a tool for self improvement and satisfaction


But these days we go to therapy for the sake of going to therapy and it does far more harm than good


If you want an unsolicited advice:
Do a hard cut off of every routinic aspect of your life.
Seek out a “fresh start”
Don’t be afraid to be afraid. The fear itself will spring you forward


I was in a horrible rut until recently and just changing jobs has triggered a healthier version of me almost automatically


Do that. Make a move. Any move

[Anonymous]

No. I think the majority of women today are not relationship material. I think most don't want one (regardless of what they'll tell you). And the other half thier values and morals are simply so out of whack, they wouldn't know how to have a healthy relationship if they tried.

The interactions between men as well all gender roles have been pushed to the breaking point. It's reached the point that most women will only seek out users because they are the only type of guy thar will tell her the LIE that she wants to hear. This results in her having one bad "relationship" after another. Because in reality she is the only one who is seeking something lasting. Likewise when it comes to men seeking women men typically choose the women predators. Because these are the only women putting forth the effort to appear to be what the man is looking for. Of course she is! She's baiting the trap.

I think the only problem I have with dating is like other guys I end up choosing the worst women. This is why I largely don't date anymore. The woman for me is the woman that sees my value and is patient enough for me to trust her enough to open up and share who I am at my core. And those women are EXTREMELY rare. At this point I'd rather just have my peace and happiness then pursue a woman that is only going to thwart that.

[MemeSupreme]

oh 100% for similar reasons and i am a lot. its why i didn't date for a couple of years

i worked towards improving myself and actively doing that in my relationship rn even when it feels wrong or uncomfortable

ngl it does take a certain kind of person to date people like us. like a lot of patience, holding us accountable, and not taking things personally bc they understand

[NoDecision]

It's not what you think but what others think of you. Work on yourself for you, not for someone else. Because your of yourself is more important than what others think of you.

[Jersey2]

For me , no. Do you have some things you want to achieve. I would say goals but that is not something I drive for but it is essentially what I am doing. I have a long term need that I want satisfied and go for it. This Puts my eye in the prize and women just seemed to fall into place. I was going somewhere and perhaps they saw that I picked them up and we went for a ride together in life so to speak.

Everyone has issues. If therapists haven’t helped it by now then they don’t seem very good. I find most experts are not as in target as myself in many cases. Many experts don’t really know that much, they just don’t have many insights. Take what you can and then make your own decisions and use your own judgement, you know best.

If I were you I suspect I would be living in a cabin in the woods near a lake with a German Shepard dog. Women are nurturing and some would take you on if you aren’t violent.

[Jersey2]

Not On target*

[Ask105]

You make feel like that but from what i seen in 4 months is every woman i talked to religion race etc is beyond disloyal and a red flag and constantly playing games and tactics just hopefully you find a good woman but don’t think you're not good enough at-least your trying to improve

[Nikki1989]

Nah. Every time I have felt I was going off the rails, I would fix myself and get back on track. Positve thinking and the right mindset, and you can do anything.