Why is my INFJ boyfriend pulling away?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 32 and my INFJ boyfriend is 39. We've been together for three years. Recently I've found him on date sites. And talking to others. We decided to work it out but he is showing no effort. He knows I'm very hurt. It just doesn't seem like the behavior of an INFJ. What do you all think?

[Hardon-Collider]

You're judging a living person by a static, abstract label. You need to understand the stages of development. Your boyfriend is 39, which is a typical age for someone to be at the second stage. The first stage is the 'Head' man, who is all intellect but lacks warmth. The second, which is what you might call an 'INFJ,' is the 'Heart' man, who has developed a deep connection to the world through feeling. This is a wonderful, loving stage, but it's incomplete. The third stage is the 'Feet' man, who has integrated his head with his heart and is grounded in reality. He is stuck at stage two, which is why his actions don't match your expectations.

[NoDecision]

Have you always been a half-wit, or is it just something new? You are being played.

[HighValue]

Immoral and totally unacceptable behavior on his part.