Am I the problem?

[ruth4ever]

My boyfriend and I are long-distance, and he's made it clear he doesn't like long distance, and his past long distance didn't work out, but for me, he's trying.

Today is our 2-month anniversary, and I've missed him all day. If I don't text first, I don't hear from him all day, and today he was with his female friend; he's been hanging out with a lot lately. I was looking forward to our nighttime call, but he just said he's spending the night at her house and can't call. I told one friend I was thinking about breaking up with him because he's been distant lately, seems uninterested, and I don't feel important. She said I'm just one of those jealous, want my boyfriend to respond within an hour type of girlfriends. Now I feel like an idiot. But yet I'm falling apart, I send paragraphs telling him how much he means to me, post about him, make him a priority throughout my day. He says he loves me and wants me... Maybe I'm the problem...

[SueShe]

No, you are obviously not the problem but rather he is the problem and of course, the long distance is also a contributing factor for the issue with your relationship.

At age 19 or in the age group 16-25 (give or take a few years), men are basically slaves of their hormones and if they cannot control them, they will let them dictate their behavior. This is not a secret but rather a sad fact of life.

It is indeed a red flag that

1. You have always to initiate a conversation

2. That he is with another girl and that he prioritizes her when he should be with you on your anniversary.

These red flags are just telling that despite his promise not to be distant like with the other women he had before, he is doing the exact same and unfortunately, you will have to expect that he also breaks up with you due to the long distance issue.

[AvaRay]

No, u r not the problem..

U r just loving someone who doesn’t meet u where u r..

When affection turns one sided, u start over giving just to keep the connection alive but that’s not love, that’s survival..

U crave effort, not perfection..

U want reciprocity, not control..

There’s a difference between being too much n simply asking for the same energy u give..

If he’s comfortable letting u feel unseen, that says more about his emotional availability than your sensitivity..

Love should calm your nervous system, not trigger your insecurity..

So no, u r not asking for too much, prob is u r just asking the wrong person.. 😊

[ohsheeT]

No your not the problem. Look weather it's next door neighbors or long distance you don't spend the night over some other girls house. And think your girlfriend is going to be OK with that

That's just wrong

[Richardjd]

No you aren't the problem he clearly doesn't care about you as much as you care for him if it was me I would always call you and message you first

[MzAsh]

Sweetie you need to break up with this loser.

[italy2007]

He is the problem not you.

[In_Trance]

Yes you are