Am I the problem?

[EJglitch]

Whenever I do the wrong things, Whenever I do the stupid stuff, my mum, without any affirmation of a sort, would always remind me not only how stupid I am, but also remind me about all the years I’ve been doing all sorts of things. She would then point out how forgetful I am, how absent minded I am, how careless I am, basically how bad of a person I am

The thing is, I already know how bad of a person I am, being forgetful, being absent minded and all that. Its just one of the reasons why I’ve been hating myself for years enough for me to think that I don't deserve anyone really. Especially in relationships. So it’s whenever I’m reminded how bad of a person I am, especially by my own mum. I tend to hate myself even more. Almost as if that reminder, is a trigger. It makes me ask myself all kinds of questions like:
”do I deserve to be with anyone in life?” “Do I really deserve the praise and affirmation that I hope to hear from my mum or anyone for that matter?” “Am I not normal for taking this as an encouragement or a motivation?” and so on

As a sensitive person, I take a whole lot in when someone reminds me of all of those bad things I do, especially if it’s from your parent so it would just be this whole spiral.

Knowing I'm a sensitive person it makes me wonder whether it’s my fault that I feel this way

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that really sucks dude. I can totally get why constant criticism from your mom would make you hate yourself. No one should have to feel that way, especially not from their own parent.

It's not your fault at all for being sensitive either - some people just process emotions deeper, and that's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself, man. We all mess up sometimes.

Your mom shouldn't just be tearing you down either though. Parents are supposed to build their kids up, not break them down more when they're already feeling bad about a mistake. Reminders are one thing, but going on and on about how awful you are is just cruel.

You don't deserve that negativity, bro. Her issues aren't a reflection of your worth. Maybe try talking to her, tell her how it makes you feel. If she doesn't stop, start limiting how much you share with her so she can't put you down as much.

You matter, dude. Don't listen to some harsh words. Focus on the people who support you unconditionally instead. And be kinder to yourself - we all have room for growth, but don't let her convince you you're a lost cause or something. Hope it gets better man.

[SugarSugarplum]

You're a grown 20 year old man. Your mom seems to have some vested interest in keeping you down. So stop listening to her.

Here's the truth. This is the ABSOLUTE truth. We all have failings. The only mistake we make is when we don't learn from failing, so we have to fail the same way again.

In life, failing isn't like burning everything to the ground, it's more like stepping in the mud. You learn to do better next time.

So next time she whips out the list of everything you've done wrong, just chuckle and agree with her. "Yeah mom, I may flounder a lot, but you have to admit I'm comedy gold!"

[slatyb]

No, bits her fault. Get as far away as you can as soon as possible. Get counseling if you can.