Is it bad to be in a relationship with big age gap where the man is 9 years older than the woman or no?

[bunnyboo24]

It's bad

It's good

It's whatever-show me the results

Updates

7 mo

So far onky girls say its bad. Men say its good or whatever. :)

[HawkPerception]

That's actually a fairly common age gap and nothing out of the norm. My friend got married to a guy 16 years older than her last year. My cousin was also married to a guy 16 years older than her. And my grandparents on my mom's side had a 15 year difference.

Age honestly doesn't matter much as long as you're past puberty, there's mutual attraction, and consent on both ends. What matters is chemistry.

[bunnyboo24]

Thank you

[AgentG111]

That was the difference between my first wife and I.

[bunnyboo24]

And was it good?

[AgentG111]

It was until I started to work more for a promotion to get more money for our growing family.

[AgentG111]

Pretty much most of my relationships have all been younger than me.

[bunnyboo24]

Ok and it wasent toxic that they were younger?

[AgentG111]

In the beginning no. About 3 years into it, it became toxic per say leading to a divorce.

[bunnyboo24]

Why did it become toxic?

[Rei13]

Honestly depends on how old the younger person is. If she is under 20 it’s weird, early twenties questionable (20-21 specifically), past that who cares

[bunnyboo24]

Im 24 he is 33

[Rei13]

I think that’s fine. I hope it works out for you ☺️

[bunnyboo24]

thank you:)

[Nikki1989]

It is never bad if your man is good.

[bunnyboo24]

That makes sense

[AviatorTom]

It can be good or bad. My father was much older than my mother and they had a long and happy marriage until he died.

[bunnyboo24]

I see! May he rest in heaven

[genericname85]

it's less of a problem the older you get. if you're in your early twenties, you'll find that you are at quite different stages in your life and personal development making the both of you most likely grow apart. family and relationship sociology backs that up. relationship satisfaction and duration aren't great with big age gaps specially in younger folks. the gaps in personal development and over all life progression get smaller the older both are.

[bunnyboo24]

I've always had a very old soul. Ever since I was 12 I said no to Boys I liked cause % likelyhood we would get married are too low.. im a 67 year old Lady inside lol.

But I do get what you mean.

[genericname85]

well there's no "old souls". life makes some people gow up faster. i think it's less usefull to use such concepts like "souls" cause it doesn't help to understand and instead adds more shroud to the mystery.

so i think certain circumstances often within the family you grow up in force an early development and a shortened childhood. like irresponsible, unssupportive, absent or abusive parents. i don't think you're just born with a "soul" like that.

[genericname85]

but age and experience limit personal growth speed at younger ages. at older ages, these limits go away. so that's why the differences between the age groups get less extreme.

[bunnyboo24]

I dont littery mean I was born with an old soul. Its just a way of explaining someones personality

[genericname85]

yeah sorry. my mind just doesn't work with these wague terms. maybe soul means something to you that helps you understand. in my mind that word litterally has no meaning so it just adds to the confusion of already complex topics.

[bunnyboo24]

I understand no worries!:)

[jamesgoldman]

My parent had a 17 year gap and constantly argued

A friend of my mother's at the time had a 27 year gap, they were even worse

With those I'd say it was bad but then

An associate and his wife have a 20 year gap and are perfect


So it's case by case

[bunnyboo24]

Nice

[Anonymous]

I don’t think so.
People age at their own pace


A few months ago I met a 19 year old girl through friends, I’m 27.
You could swear the gap between us 8 months not 8 years
She’s had a hard life and matured quickly
And I have always tried to keep my inner child alive and healthy
It made us very similar
(We didn’t date. But we could have and it wouldn’t have been weird)

[bunnyboo24]

Cool

[nawtee_me]

I personally think that age doesn’t matter as long as they are both consenting adults. Girls seem to look at it as some old man using a young girl. Guys see it as a relationship and nothing more. Or at least I do.

If you flip the script and the girl is 9 years older than the guy, then girls do not give the same answer. Why is it okay one way but not the other way? I see it the same either way. Any relationship takes work and unless both are willing it won’t work even if they are the same age.

[Crimsyjo]

Doesn't matter as long as youngest person is over 18. Better if like at least 20 I'd say. But it's not about age it's about compatibility. I'm happy with a ten year age gap max either way. But thats more to do with believing it can be long term and not reflection on actual compatibility. Sadly I get on much better wuth guys in their 20's but that's too young for me to consider a relationship with. Just friends with benefits is fine tho

[Apulu_backagain]

That's the age gap between my parents. I feel like they're good couple. But the key thing is it should start when both are in appropriate age.

[bunnyboo24]

Im 24 he is 33

[Apulu_backagain]

Yup, that's when my mom was married to my dad.

[bunnyboo24]

Nice!:)

[BonzoInBitburg]

If you don't notice the age gap, it's fine.

[bunnyboo24]

I notice he says stuff like "you are young, you'll learn" or "i'lll teach you" etc but we talk anf get along well

[BonzoInBitburg]

He doesn't consider you an equal. It won't work. I'm 20 years older than my wife and we feel like the same age.

[bunnyboo24]

I see well I dont want a woke feminist dude I wanna look up to him but I dont want it it to be toxic either.

I think imma go on the date and see if we click or not. Better to judge in person than text

[BonzoInBitburg]

I get it. If he keeps bringing up the topic of age, then the age gap might be an issue for him. Good luck, I hope it works out.

[bunnyboo24]

Thank you! I asked him he said he dont mind and he was the one to ask me out for the date. So I don't know.. but we"ll see:)

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

You might get some awkward stares out in public.

My partner looks 9 years younger than me even though she's 1.5 years older.

[bunnyboo24]

He looks very young though... like 25

[slatyb]

Nine years isn't a "big age gap". Such relationships are fairly common. They are no better or worse than relationships when the partners are closer in age.

[WonderingManII]

I think it depends on how well you get along with the person.

[bunnyboo24]

Makes sense

[Anonymous]

of course girls are gonna say it's bad but they can't explain why it's bad

[bunnyboo24]

Hahaha you shouldn't be anonymous

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not the first and I won't be the last

[Harpy41]

No, relationships are healthier when the man is older. Women always want a guardian angel and sometimes men may be attracted to older women for this reason.

[bunnyboo24]

Thats true

[dudeinohio]

9 is pushing it. I generally max out at 5 to 7 years younger than me.

[bunnyboo24]

Ok why?

[dudeinohio]

Because, I dont want to be old and decrepit and have a young woman burdened with me.

[bunnyboo24]

Sounds sad

[dudeinohio]

Yeah

[zagor]

16 and 25, or 51 and 60? It makes a big difference.

[bunnyboo24]

Im 24 he is 33

[zagor]

That is reasonable.

[bunnyboo24]

Ok cool

[HighValue]

It is totally fine. What matters is compatible morals, compatible long term life goals, and some interests in common.

[Anonymous]

I'd say anything over 10 years will cause major problems.

[bunnyboo24]

How come?

[Opinion Owner]

energy wise, physically wise, sexually wise, major differences. a lot of mismatches.
soon you will find yourself married to someone that can't keep up with you in any way shape or form. you lose an activity buddy.

[bunnyboo24]

Hmm I see where you are coming from

[Opinion Owner]

one day you will be young and filled with life at 45, married to a 60 yr old senior citizen. how is he gonna sexually fulfill you? you want to travel, he wants to take a slow cruise. you want to stay up late, he wants to go to bed early. he no long has much energy to help you raise your young kids so you do the bulk of the work.

Then by 55, you might find yourself changing the diapers of your 70 yr old spouse.

By the time you hit 55, you might regret marrying someone so much older. You might want to find another spouse but nobody would want to marry you by that age.

[bunnyboo24]

When im 45 he would be 53

[bunnyboo24]

Im very introverted so is he lol.

[Opinion Owner]

anything 10 years or less is doable, Over 10 years is when it will get very rough at some point down the road

[bunnyboo24]

So 9 years vs 11 year difference is huge difference?

[Opinion Owner]

to be honest, 9 -10 yr age difference is hard but manageable. It gets harder with every year that you add on. The most satisfying marriages tend to be those with a 5 yr age gap or less. You're more likely to be on the same page, agreeing to do the same things with this type of age gap

[bunnyboo24]

I see makes sense

[aceleon]

no problem.

after you reach physical maturity age is just numbers.

[Anonymous]

It is what it is. Someone i love is 25 and i love her as long as the person is over 21 over the legal age of consent let people be happy

[bunnyboo24]

Cool! I hope she loves you too

[Opinion Owner]

I hope so too because i really love this woman

[bunnyboo24]

Nice! Are you dating her?

[Opinion Owner]

Jesus i would love to she's a goddess an icon

[bunnyboo24]

But are you guys dating?

[RedWine9]

No problem if legal. I know some in relationship age gap. I have friends who got spouses are 10 years some. Some got 8 years younger.

[msc545]

Age gaps don't matter, as long as both people are at least 18 or older.

[RandomGirl42]

It's all good if it's love. 💖

[bunnyboo24]

Yayyy

[Kelly6]

@bunnyboo24 9 yr gap is very normal

[bunnyboo24]

cool, thanks

[Kelly6]

@bunnyboo24
In our relationship I’m little older then him.

[bunnyboo24]

Oh I see so you mean the older one is more dominant usually?

[Kelly6]

@bunnyboo24
Most of time yes because older has more experience but education and personality still plays a big roll.

[bunnyboo24]

Makes sense! Thank you

[Anonymous]

It's not bad at all, as long as they get along well, and if they really like each other.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the guy. 9 years. isn-t too bad if you choose well.

[shortster]

10-15 years is the ideal age gap.

[bunnyboo24]

How come?

[shortster]

The male brain fully develops at 32, while the female brain fully develops at 22.

[bunnyboo24]

Cool then we are both fully developed lol

[Jellyshroom]

Ngl it sounds pretty bad

[bunnyboo24]

Okay how come? Please elaborate:)

[Jellyshroom]

1 different life stages
2 power/ego dynamics
3 judgment from others
4 Different energy level
5 Long term outlook

[bunnyboo24]

I see how you think.

[MasterKS]

Dont you think experienced man is always great.

[bunnyboo24]

Experienced in what way?

[MasterKS]

@bunnyboo24 mentally, sexually.

[bunnyboo24]

Mentally yes, sexually no. The less the better

[MasterKS]

@bunnyboo24 no issues i you need some failed sex and low experienced skill its upto you.

[bunnyboo24]

Well as a virgin myself i prefer men with high self discapline and morals. Most virgins do actually despite what social media tries to say but yeah..

[MasterKS]

@bunnyboo24 virgin in 24, what could i say more?

[JamesMillerOwl]

I think it's fine as long as it's legal.