How can I actually be myself around my boyfriend?

[urevdi]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six or seven months now, and you’d think I’d have opened up by then, but I don’t know — sometimes I feel like I’m still hiding something or not being my authentic self. Why is that, and what can I do?

[Summeroflove]

Well becoming vulnerable around someone takes time to be able to truly open up to someone should be special either you’ll naturally become more comfortable or you won’t. Sure, it does involve stepping out of your comfort zone a little and communicating.

Number one. Are you just scared? Or does he make you feel embarrassed of yourself? Some people aren’t compatible let me start off by saying that it does not mean someone’s alwyas bad when you open up more and they decide you’re not for them. They’re not only doing themselves a favor but you as well… Even if it hurts it will hurt worse later being with the wrong person. Other people just lack the ability to form genuine connections.

Communicate. That’s where it starts. Telling him what you’re telling us and seeing where that conversation leads. As long as you have been dating you should be able to have these deeper conversations now.

[urevdi]

I’m probably just scared he’s very sweet and accepting, it’s really just me and it’s like we are close but it always feels like to a certain extent

[Summeroflove]

Communicate how you feel and see how he responds

[RavVid]

We are normally on our best behavior with a romantic interest for 6 to 12 months. Then we start farting in front of them.

Don't worry it'll happen.

[RxR0954]

I’d say the first thing you could do is find out why you have been holding back. Is it because of some sorts of fear? fear of overwhelming him? Fear of rejection? Fear of being judged? Or did you grow up not having the opportunity to be yourself around your family/friends? I’d find out when that feeling starts and give myself some positive pep talk. Also try to spread it out if you don’t feel like telling your boyfriend everything at once

[HollyK21]

You most likely have a fear of losing him, and you’ve got let go of that, otherwise you risk losing yourself and no relationship is worth that.

[slatyb]

Professional counseling could help. Is your boyfriend critical of you, or does he make light of your feelings and ambitions? If he's supportive, but you are still afraid, perhaps you have been abused in the past by your parents or peers? Have you tried opening up just a little, starting with the smallest thing? If he loves you, he will be accepting and charmed. He probably has things he has been afraid to tell you. It's not possible to have a deep loving relationship while one or both of you is hiding from the other.

[beenherebefore]

Some people take longer to feel comfortable around other people and that's completely normal. The more you spend time with him the more comfortable you'll fell do stuff together like escape rooms, concerts, holidays etc etc etc.

[BarryLiverstone]

Create a “bad date” day. You both agree that you can’t be mad at anything you do after that day and then you tease and mock him and prepare to be patient if he’s joking with you. The purpose is to stop walking on eggshells and let him see another side of you. You will be surprised what others tolerate

[urevdi]

Wait, I’m confused lol.. could you explain this again

[BarryLiverstone]

Sure can. Which part is confusing? Because rn you sound scared to lose him and worry if he saw something wrong with you that he would ghost

[BarryLiverstone]

So I was suggesting you pretend to be a badder version of yourself on the next date with him and see how he can handle you. He will know that you are trying to be a brat and I’m guessing you will be surprised how much he will accept and hold firm on

[urevdi]

Hmm that’s a pretty good point

[urevdi]

Thanks :)

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. It going to be fun and lemme know how it turned out

[urevdi]

I guess could you give me an example of what acting like my badder self would be?

[BarryLiverstone]

Fuck no! Why would I waste my time helping a loser like you!

[urevdi]

lol thanks, and yeah I’ll let you know

[BarryLiverstone]

lol you are welcome. And ya, you asked me for an example.. so I attempted to answer with the worst reply ;)

[jahaims]

You don't have confidence and are insecure. Do things that build that

[RHK36]

It means you probably don't trust him. Deep down you probably don't really like him.

[Danny_dan92]

Be yourself

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Stop giving a shit?