My boyfriend bought me a very expensive sweater. Would it be rude if I didn't accept it?

[Anonymous]

A sweater worth around $700 is 30,000 Turkish Lira, which is too expensive for me and I would feel bad if I accepted it.

Updates

1 mo

He bought me this gift for my birthday. I accepted it this time, but I don't think I'll accept it again.

[MrOracle]

Tell him and tell him why. Make it clear that you really APPRECIATE it, but that the cost makes you uncomfortable (and why it does).

Most men would only love and respect their girl more for saying this, and being grounded and practical. That's a rare and highly valued trait for most men.

Generally, the men who might get upset or offended by this are either so rich that such a purchase means nothing to them (they could buy a thousand such sweaters and not notice the cost), or they're doing it to show off or because they're afraid that their money is all they have to offer.

Obviously, we don't know the whole situation here, but based just on what you posted, I'd tell him how thankful and appreciative you are (and mean it!), and then tell him that you can't accept it and why. Most likely, it will make your relationship stronger, and in the chance that it doesn't, then it's better to know that now than years down the road.

[HawkPerception]

The fact that you're hesitant says a lot about your character. It means you're not a gold digger, you're considerate of others, and money can't buy your love. You're a high quality girl from that alone. But if he's not trying to use it to buy your love and just thinks you'd look good in it, I say accept it.

I will say the guy has bougie taste though. I'd never spend $700 on pants. That's a ridiculous waste of money in my opinion.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

It wouldn’t be rude, it would be honest.

You accepted it this time because it was a birthday gift and you didn’t want to dim his gesture.
That’s fair.

But it’s also completely valid to set a boundary going forward if the price makes you uncomfortable.

The key is the tone, you’re not rejecting *him*, you’re respecting your own values.

Something simple like, “I appreciate how thoughtful you are, but gifts that expensive make me uneasy.

I’d rather we keep things meaningful, not luxurious,” is enough.

A good partner won’t take that personally.

If anything, it shows you’re grounded and not with him for what he can buy.

[Anonymous]

Not only would it be rude, it would be stupid. Don’t deny yourself nice things because you self-esteem is non existent, and definitely don’t deny other people gifting you things they want to gift you just because you don’t value yourself and think you deserve such things.

[ohsheeT]

I guess that's up to you. I mean , if he did it , he knew it , he was doing anyone you to have it.

Then that's a big exchange rate from American dollars to Turkish dollars

[AviatorTom]

You should accept it, and say, "You really shouldn't have, it's so expensive."

He would be insulted if you rejected it.

[RavVid]

Is it a lot of money to him? Do you like it or would be embarrassed to be in public with it on? If bought can it be returned? Is this a bonded relationship or are there other guys?

I'd be pretty sure he thinks you are in a bonded long term relationship. If you don't see it that way then you shouldn't accept. There is the gesture and the present itself.

You could accept the gesture but reject the present if you are committed. If you are not committed you should not accept either.

[ChiTown33]

Who the f*** buys a $700 sweater? I'd make it VERY clear that while I'm VERY appreciative of it, that I wouldn't EVER spend that kind of coin on an article of clothing. And I wouldn't want someone spending it on me either.

Money is easier to come by to some than others. I'm not broke, but I've got a healthy respect for a dollar. And if you care about me you recognize that, and recognize that material things do not impress me. I'd much rather you give me what money cannot buy.

I'm not saying he's trying to buy your affection, because I just don't know. I just know I'd be looking at him like he's out of his mind.🤣

[Zack-Bann]

I would sit him down and have a talk


In my case it would be a girl but it works both ways:


“Look, I really appreciate that you value me to the point of spending so much on a gift.
But I want us to be able to give each-other meaningful gifts
And if you’re gonna spend so much on me I will feel wrong accepting it if I can’t spend an equal amount on you.
The day we both can give a 700$ gift you’ll find yours delivered instantly. But until then let’s please lower the budget a little “

[FunkyMonkee]

Not if you do it gracefully.
"Oh, thank you so very much, honey! I REALLY appreciate the gift! It was VERY thoughtful of you but, it's just not me and I don't think I'll ever wear it anywhere." (Or, what you just said.) "I hope you can understand. Can we go to the store and let me pick out one I will wear?"
And, when you do, make sure it's around the same price or less!

[Anonymous]

If he has that kind of money, a $700 sweater to him is like a regular sweater to a regular guy. Be gracious and appreciative and tell him thank you and how much you love it (assuming you do), but at the same time don’t let him buy your affection either. Don’t embarrass him by telling it’s too much unless he really is trying to buy your affection or you’re certain it’s too much for him to afford.

[Bklynbadboy12]

It wouldn't be a bad thing how long have you been dating him maybe he feels like your worth it. Your a good woman and there is nothing wrong with him showing you how much he loves and appreciates you

[Asker]

I've known him for 2 years. We broke up and now we're talking again.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Good and just know every thing you get you deserve. You're a good person and he sees that

[Staximus]

If he can afford it then accept it, if he cannot afford it then don't. If he can't return it you might as well accept it. You're a good woman to be hesitant to accept such expensive things.

[Sebastian100]

Take it this time but tell him not to buy that expensive next time

[Asker]

Is this currency high or low in America?

[Sebastian100]

High a lot

[FreyaRed]

When he can afford it, take it. Of course when has to take a mortgage for his family house for a sweeter I would demand he gives it back.

[Asker]

She is older than me and has her own money.

[exitseven]

What would be rude would be accept it and than never wear it.

[slatyb]

How long have you been dating? It makes a big difference. Also how much does he earn or have? Finally and most importantly, is he trying to make you feel obligated to repay him in some way?

[jahaims]

All you have to do is say in the future I would be more comfortable if you didn't spend so much money on gifts for me.

[TallAnon]

It was already bought, too late now
Should definitely bring it up for the future though

[Shiprex]

It would hurt his ego if you returned it BUT may make him feel entitled to more from you.

[jkreuger95]

It depends if he bought it because it's "you" and he thought of you or if it was the price tag and it looking nice was the secondary benefit

[Nice222]

As long as he can afford the expense and still pay his bills and provide for you, then why not except the gift.

[fish5505_87]

That's a tough call to make, How do you know he bought it for you if you have not accepted it yet?

[Kelley1]

Not if the gift comes with expectations.

[DryGermanGuy]

„Sexpectations“… ☝️

[Kelley1]

@DryGermanGuy Typically.

[DJB72]

He spent $700 on a sweater? Marry him.

[Anonymous]

I think you should accept it.

[stratford]

Do you look good in it?

[wkhan_87]

Yes , don't be rude without any reason

[Yellovv]

What's the reason for not accepting it?