My [F24] friends with benefits [M35] had an honest conversation with me about where he’s at. Does it seem like he wants to end things?

[Anonymous]

So I dated this man 1.5 years ago for two months then we ended things and started casually seeing each other every other week or so just for sex Towards the end, he was inviting me out to dinner, having dinner with me at his place, watching shows, hinting at wanting to take me out but it kind of never happened.

I ended things with him but we recently reconnected. We hooked up last weekend, then he invited me to go to a workout class with him and then we grabbed lunch after. He talked about his life goals, wanting kids, etc and asked about my grad school timeline. However, I didn’t think much of it since he didn’t ask for another date and didn’t invite me back to his place and didn’t even kiss me.

Yesterday he texted me I went over and we hooked up. When we were cuddling after he suddenly asked me “why do you like me? Why do you keep seeing me?” I told him the reasons and then jokingly told him “I know you see me just for the sex” he said no I’m not shallow. The sex is good but you’re very interesting and I like spending time with you. I said yeah we have hot sex. He said yes but I feel lately it’s been more than just sex for both of us. Like that time we grabbed lunch we didn’t have sex didn’t do anything physical but I liked it. I enjoy spending time with you I don’t know yet to what extent but wanted to tell you where I’m at.

I said pinky promise me that if you get serious with another girl you’ll tell me (and vice versa) he said of course I will, I just haven’t felt emotionally strong for any woman in the past 4 years. He then opened up about his past relationships, asked me if I’ve ever been in love, if I’d ever stay with a man I didn’t truly love, etc. the conversation was so relieving and not awkward at all and we both felt so calm afterwards. But now I’m kind of wondering if he had this conversation to kind of tell me let’s keep it casual and not catch feelings? Or he’s open to exploring more?

[HollyK21]

This is really sad. You can say whatever you want, your actions make it clear that you’re hoping that this will all pay off and it’s not going to. Pretty sure I said something similar the last time you posted this. It’s just casual sex, and if you’re going to keep pretending you’re ok with nothing more than that then there’s no need to ever concern yourself with the idea of getting back together or wondering when he finds someone else. Pinky promise or not it isn’t your business. No need to keep doing other stuff that makes you think he’s having a change of heart. Its just setting your future self up for greater heartbreak.

[Kabluie]

Sounds like a casual sex relationship, but we all can have that cool friend that we hookup with regularly, and maybe go out to dinner or a date kind of thing. It's no real commitment and you can always date anyone else at the same time. The pinky promise is sort of a way if you ever want to be monogamous with someone, that you just won't delete them from your life kind of ordeal.

[Staximus]

You both sound like you don't know what the hell you really want and are in denial of a connection that goes beyond sex. He should grow a pair of balls and get serious, and ask you to be his girlfriend

[JDLives]

He talks a big game but never does anything. He’s fine with the friends with benefits and that’s it.

[BarryLiverstone]

He wants to keep going as casual sex friends

[In_Trance]

Did he tell you he wants to end things?

[Asker]

No he didn’t. He just told me lately it’s been more than just sex for both of us and he enjoyed going on that date with me and spending time outside the bedroom without doing anything sexual. And that he likes spending time with me doesn’t know to what extent yet and wanted to tell me where he’s at. And then opened up about his previous relationships and how he hasn’t felt strongly for anyone in the past four years

[MasterKS]

get a new friends with benefits.