If a girl broke up recently and instantly started seeing someone else, is it ok to make a move on her anyway?

[Anonymous]

Honestly I had a crush on this girl for a while
And it was clear she liked me too for the most part.

Today I learn that she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years and a week later is now dating a guy she briefly worked with in the past (It sounds like a rebound to me)

But something broke inside me
It’s almost like he stole my turn
Even if it’s unfair to see it that way

All I want to do is to take my flirting up to a 10 and ask her out
And when she says she’s seeing someone
Just flat out tell her I’m better.

But I know it’s beyond messy and risky
I just don’t want to accept that she’s still ducking what’s right in front of her

Our chemistry is the stuff of movies
U
I’ve been with tons of women but none quite like her

I’m not thinking straight and I beed tips if at all possible
I’m seeing her again in a few hours and later all weekend (her boyfriend isn’t here)

[Staximus]

A week later is already dating a guy? Sounds like she already had him waiting on standby. She'll have another guy waiting on standby when she's getting ready to be done with this new guy. Maybe you can be that next guy, and then she'll have another guy waiting to take your place when she's done with you. Listen Romeo, if she was as attracted to you as you are to her then you would already be her new guy. So don't screw around with your co-workers like a dumbass and save yourself the drama, and go find a girl you don't work with.

[jahaims]

She is broken trash if she gets out of a 3 year relationship and jumps into another one. All red flags you are ignoring because you want to get your needs met over being emotionally healthy.

[Asker]

She’s broken as fuck
But not trash

She was on the outs with her ex for a while

And I would say it’s more ignorance and nativity that got her where it got her

Not a conscious decision to hurt the guy

I know Im biased here and I’m probably overlooking a few red flags

But I’m so tired of only finding red flags in people
No one is perfect so why should she be

[PeachyPie93]

Well how is she already dating someone else if she is into you? Doesn't that mean you are friend zoned... You could say you like her but not sure that would change anything, but you can shoot your shot..

[Asker]

She doesn’t want to date a coworker
That’s my main obstacle
Aside from the boyfriend of course

[PeachyPie93]

People who truly like you won't make an excuse to date you..
I know it sucks but once you let your ego accept it, these things get way easier and you don't let infatuation block the truth.. I'd tell her so you don't have any regrets about it, but don't get your hopes up..

[Abbycado]

Nope. You plainly state she has a boyfriend. "(her boyfriend isn’t here)"

Not cool.

[Asker]

I know it’s not cool
And with her ex I respected the code

But I’m downright angry that some weasel managed to slip past me

And I know have 0 right to do anything

But I so desperately want to for once
Be the toxic selfish bastard that gets the girl

Instead of just watching her ride off into the sunset with some random guy at the 11th hour

[Abbycado]

I get it. It sucks. Just don't be "that guy" that meddles in a relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you!
I just got off the phone with my best friend who told me almost the same thing

He said her new boyfriend is clearly a rebound and if I give it a minute he’ll fade away on his own

As long as I maintain my own posture in her life I will have a shot sooner than I think

I was never a guy to wait his turn or take someone’s sloppy seconds so to speak
But something about this girl is so different
I hate who I am becoming because of her but I don’t want to be anyone else

Needless to say it sucks to have feelings

[Anonymous]

Yes she will probably go through several guys before having a boyfriend again so you might as well. I don't know why you had to write a book about it to ask your question.

[Asker]

I needed to get it off my chest

But I don’t wanna be one of “several guys”

I want to be the boyfriend

Which is something I haven’t said the last 20 times I slept with a woman

[Plugs]

U slept with 20 women

[Asker]

19 to be exact but that’s a regular number these days

[Plugs]

And her? What’s her body count?

[Asker]

12 i found out today

[Plugs]

Why do u like her?

[Asker]

The basics are all there
She’s beautiful, stylish, smells great

She’s very flawed but in an endearing way.
Her harshest critic but quick to give everyone else a chance

She might come off as self centered but will naturally care and get invested in whatever is happening with me without me asking

We also get along far too well
Our chemistry is off the charts on a normal day

Most people that hang out with us often end up making the joke “do you guys need me to leave?” Because they feel like a third wheel even if we try including them

And all that said: she makes me want to he a better me
Live every day like it’s on purpose

I’ve been floating around in life for far too long
Eating whatever was on my plate

But with her I want care about the little things just as much as the big ones

[Plugs]

How do u both look

[beenherebefore]

Why would you make a move on someone who’s dating another guy?

[Asker]

Because she’s with the wrong guy
And I’m the right one

And I’m sick and tired of pretending otherwise to uphold some higher standard

Nice guys finish last and I’ve finished last plenty already

[beenherebefore]

I don’t think id up to you to decide if you’re the right one for her or not, that’s her choice. Plus if she’s already dating someone after a breakup chances are she’s actually not ready to be in a committed relationship yet and is just doing it to fill a void.

[Asker]

I know you’re right obviously

I’m just mentally drained

I wanna win for once

And i know I have no right

But I can’t help it

Either this feeling goes away or I do something that goes against everything I believe in

And I hate that.

But losing one more potential soul mate is a worse feeling

[beenherebefore]

This doesn’t sound like a potential soul mate AT ALL. Forcing a relationship or trying to convince yourself that you’re the one or she’s the one is not real love. I think you need to move on and pursue someone else.

[Asker]

Deep down I know what you’re saying is true
And this is clearly a shipwreck waiting to happen

I just can’t help it when I’m with her
It’s like a bad addiction

I know I’m textbook toxic delusions

But the alternative, walking away, sounds like such a worse idea

[Anonymous]

Why are u the rights one and him the wrong guy

[Anonymous]

You can try, but her reaction depends on her personality.