Is it my weight? Will it help if?

[hello222444]

Hey so I've been seeing this guy for a long time. Lol used to date in the past for a while and started up again but we are very close friends also. Weve expressed our love for each other multiple times and we are always close friends first but also ones that really give a shit abput each other. He still beings me out with his friends and takes me out on dates but I feel like maybe my weight may affect how attracted he is to me. I know he is. As he's not shy with my body what so ever and we have zero issues while having sex. Actually its fkn hott. Im 5'6 and 190-200lbs. And I want to have a body transformation since having kids. I want to lose about 60-65 lbs in the next 6-8 months is my goal. Do you think he would be more attracted to me after this? Is it possible my weight is why we aren't in a relationship or am I going crazy? Also im doing this weightloss for myself not anyone else. And to keep up with my kids lol

[Shehnaz]

“No babe, it’s not your weight.
Read that again IT’S NOT YOUR WEIGHT.
If a guy is taking you out on real dates, bringing you around his friends, saying “I love you,” and the sex is still fire… trust me, he’s attracted to you exactly as you are right now. 190–200 lbs at 5'6 doesn’t magically turn a man off when he’s already choosing you over and over again. Men who are secretly repulsed don’t keep coming back for years, don’t introduce you to their people, and definitely don’t look at your body like it’s their favourite place.
The reason you’re not “official” probably has way more to do with timing, past history, fear of messing up the friendship, or him just being slow to commit… than the number on your scale. You said it yourself you’ve dated before, you’re super close friends first. That’s the real thing holding the label back, not your thighs.
Lose the 60–65 lbs because YOU want it, because you want to run after your kids without gasping, because you want to feel like a bad bitch in every dress… do it 100 % for you (which you already are). When he sees the glow-up, the confidence, the way you carry yourself? He’s going to lose his damn mind even more. But he’s already into you. The weight loss is just extra hot sauce on an already spicy dish.
You’re not going crazy. You’re just a woman who loves him and wants to be chosen officially. That feeling is valid. But your body? That’s not the blocker here, queen. Keep being the whole meal you already are. The ring or the “girlfriend” title will come when the timing finally catches up to the feelings… and it has nothing to do with the scale.”

[hello222444]

That is so thoughtful, and sweet of you to take the time to write that for me. Thank you so much, I appreciate your input 🙏🏼

[Shehnaz]

All the best, take care

[DreamCrescent]

why did you reply in quotes? like you copy-pasted it from somewhere like for example AI

[Bitter_Sweet94]

If he’s still taking you out, being close with you, showing you off to his friends, and your chemistry in bed is great then your weight isn’t the thing holding him back.

Attraction isn’t the issue here.

Something else in the dynamic is making him hesitate, and it’s rarely just about a number on a scale.

Your body transformation is a good thing if *you* want it for your confidence, your health, your kids.

But don’t tie your worth or the future of the relationship to weight loss.

If he commits after you change your body, that only proves he wasn’t choosing you fully to begin with.

Keep improving yourself, but keep your eyes open too.

If a man wants to claim you, he will with the body you have right now.

[Staximus]

It sounds like your weight doesn't matter to him, but you're fat and unhealthy and you should do something about that

[hello222444]

I am. I had 3 kids back to back within 4 years, and each kid put 20 pounds on me. It sucks, but through fasting and hard work the weight is starting to melt off.

[PeachyPie93]

It's defo not the weight, if it were the weight he would not be taking you on dates and he wouldn't be bringing you around family and friends because he would be embarrassed to be seen with you.. It's something else holding him back.. maybe the fact you have 3 kids that aren't his?

[hello222444]

Could definitely be that too. Im sure it could be a number of things. We do openly talk about our feelings, and all of our young children on both sides get brought up. They still have yet to meet even though we have been friends for 15+ years. Our kids are young and been through a lot so we are very careful, but want them to meet and play as friends soon. He wanted to first, but i actually pulled back and told him in time. 🤷‍♀️ grateful to have him in my life no matter what. Whatever it may be.

[PeachyPie93]

How have your kids never met if you been friends for 15+ years? lol Seems weird..
It could be cuz you're hesitant with that.. it could be there are too many kids to want to blend a family together.. it could be he just wants it to stay how it is.. you never know with guys, but if it was your weight I doubt you would have a good sex life together and he would be seeing other woman too..
So I think you should just go with the flow and work on yourself if that will make you happier.

[hello222444]

Our kids are all under the age of 5, and both our past relationships only ended 1 year ago. We didn't communicate the same during those baby havin, family makin years for obvious reasons lol. But now that we do, the time will come soon lol. Thank you I appreciate your perspective, and opinions

[itsannalee]

If you really want it, just do it.
Do it for yourself, not for anyone else.
The ideal beautiful weight for 5’6 is around 119-150lbs.

[hello222444]

I agree 100% thank you. Thats the goal!

[abbyjgriffin98]

I think if you want to lose weight, do so for yourself not for outside validation. Also, he doesn't seem to be bothered with your weight. If your weight was really an issue, he probably would not have dated you to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Why do u like him?

[hello222444]

I adore him. I love him. He sets my soul on fire lol, and my heart. He gives me an energy no one else can.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh how do u both look

[hello222444]

He is 6ft 240lb. So he's not small, but thats how I like them. He looks great honestly.

[Opinion Owner]

What energy does he give u? How do u look in other aspects than weights