Need help what to do?

[Anonymous]

So i met the guy only once, i really liked him and felt like he liked me too. He asked for a second date while we were still on a date. also we met after a long time of chatting, but not consistent. Main reason is he is some kind of a player, no long relationship, no kids, he is much older then me, very good looking. He changes girls fast cause he is rich handsome and succesfull. I did't want to be just another girl, so i didn't initiate anything. was more on a neutral side. after a date months go by, he replied to my story, liked my pictures, asked to meet again, but it seems like he is waiting for a sign from me. I dont know what to do. He isn't heavily chasing or something.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

You’ve got chemistry with him, that part is clear.

But a guy like this older, attractive, successful, used to options usually doesn’t chase hard.

Not because he’s not interested, but because he’s never had to.

He waits for a small signal and moves toward whoever opens the door a bit.

The real question is what you want out of this.

If you’re hoping for something stable, you need to stay level headed.

Don’t invest fast, be warm but not wide open.

Let him show consistency first.

If he’s genuinely interested in you, not just adding another girl to the rotation, he’ll put in more effort than liking pictures and replying to stories.

If you’re simply curious and want to see where it goes, you can give a light, classy signal respond, engage a little but still keep your boundaries strong.

Don’t hand him full access.

You’re not wrong for feeling unsure.

Just don’t let him be the one fully setting the pace.

Give a little signal if you want to, but let him prove whether he’s serious or just passing through.

[Asker]

Thank you so much! I also thought about that he dont want to chase because he's not used to it. He also tried to chat with me via his friend. but i didn't react. It seemed manipulative, or was he scared?

[Bitter_Sweet94]

He wasn’t scared.

A man with his looks, age, and success isn’t afraid to approach someone he truly wants.

Reaching out through a friend isn’t “shy,” it’s just low effort.

More like testing the waters without risking his ego.

Not exactly manipulative, but definitely not the move of a man who’s serious.

If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll come to you directly.

If he keeps choosing indirect ways to get your attention, that already tells you his level of intent.

You don’t need to decode him.

Just pay attention to what he does when you don’t make it easy.

[Asker]

but he already asked me a few times for a second date. and i answered neutrally, like yeah okay, will see. And maybe he doesn't want to ask that many times. so after that the friend showed up.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Then that actually explains it.

If you kept your answer neutral, he probably wasn’t sure whether to push again or back off a little.

Some men don’t like risking a second rejection, so they try a softer route through a friend.

It still doesn’t make it a strong move, just a cautious one.

But the important part is this,

if he wants that second date, he’ll try again in a direct way.

And you’ll see his real intention from how he follows through, not from what his friend says.

You don’t need to chase or over interpret it.

Just stay warm but steady, and let him show you whether he actually means it.

[BarryLiverstone]

Find another guy

[Asker]

but why

[BarryLiverstone]

Because while he asked for a 2nd date, you haven’t been on one

[BarryLiverstone]

Did he make plans for date 2?

[Asker]

he left the initiative to me.

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope, he should have planned date 2. As you say he’s good looking and successful so he likely has others he is going out with

[Asker]

i made it hard for him

[BarryLiverstone]

Ohh ok. You played a game. Then probably best he’s moving on

[Asker]

i mean not intentenally, im just used to guys leading. and he leaves the initiative for me

[BarryLiverstone]

Then you are still playing a game. You want to feel him chase you

[BarryLiverstone]

Regardless it’s been months. As I advised find another guy. You can’t just wait around for him. Right?

[Asker]

he's a player i dont want to be used

[BarryLiverstone]

People call me a player. I know that I don’t use others. So life isn’t that simple

[Asker]

so you think he wants me to come up to him?

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope. At this point he’s moved on. So as I told you find another guy