How can you connect with a woman if so many find small talk boring?

Question

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Easy, don't do small talk. Or manage it to an absolute minimum. Walk up and say something outrageous. Then smile. See if she can play or she's a dud mentally or suffering from the usual personality disorders. Best to get this out of the way as soon as possible.

Insult her outfit. Tell her she's in your seat. Tell her (out loud) she could really use a better friend group. May as well get them all involved, LOL. If she laughs and come's right back with something that makes you spit your drink out your nose, it's game on. If her friends pile on and start in on you, it's gonna be a good night. After you settle in, at some point turn the conversation to something serious periodically to see how (or if) she/they think. Create contrast. Make them ride the roller coaster. Challenge their minds. Don't be every other guy who has ever approached them! See if they come back and challenge you or stand there like a herd of deer caught the headlights of a car on a dark winding road at 1AM.

It's so much more fun than...

What's your name?
What do ya do?
Where do ya live?
Do ya like to travel?
Where'd ya go to school?
Do ya come here often?
Hold imaginary gun to your head and pretend to pull trigger.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Nobody “connects” over small talk. That’s why it’s called “small talk”. It’s meaningless and pointless. It’s the kind of things mortal enemies might exchange in public in order to create the appearance of civility.
If you want to connect ask meaningful questions. There’s a fine line between intrusive questions and compelling questions. That’s where a lot of people go wrong, especially dudes. I won’t even pretend to understand that dynamic fully because it varies from person to person. If small talk has a purpose beyond wasting time and killing an uncomfortable silence, it’s a work up to more meaningful conversation. For women, the best bet is keep them talking about themselves. They are usually their own favorite people. Ell oh ell!

Wuai201 · Accepted Answer

Talk about topics that are on your mind

You'll find out if she's interested in the same stuff you're interested in,
you'll find out her opinion (whether she agrees, disagrees, or has an interesting take on it that makes you rethink)
Is her opinion a turn on or turn off?
If she doesn't know, is she willing to listen, learn, or research?
Is she going to dismiss you if she doesn't care about the topic or disagrees with your opinion?
You don't want a person like that.

It's a lot of secondary information you can get from talking about stuff you actually care about.
1 conversation can weed out compatibility. Especially if you differ on non-negotiables.

That's what I do or happens to me all the time.

For example- if I asked him, what do you do to help calm down and if he says, alcohol then X. I don't drink and I don't want my significant other to drink either, but my peace is important to me, so what action or advice would my partner give if my peace was disturbed?

However be careful about the topics you choose. When it comes to coworkers,
you don't want to end up going to HR

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I find that discussing something the woman is interested in, especially if you similar interests, is the way to go. If you're both birdwatchers, both like hiking, both are scuba divers... those subjects will be compelling and you can also find out where you've traveled to, etc. One  good  subject spins off into another.

AviatorTom · Answer

There are two important words in the English language, to and with, that are often abused. Don't talk to her, talk with her.

Share who you are with her, and ask her to share who she is. Talk about important things, things you like and dislike. The goal is to learn about each other, that's how you connect, or not. Connections happen when you don't force it.

Or...

You can skip the smalltalk and just ask her to have sex. 😉

Just don't be surprised by her response.

DishLady · Answer

It shouldn’t just be aimless small talk. Have something intelligent and relatable to say to her.

Bitter_Sweet94 · Answer

Small talk isn’t the problem, emptiness is.

Most women don’t hate light conversation, they just hate talking to someone who isn’t present or real.

You connect by giving the moment some substance, ask something meaningful, listen with intent, respond with curiosity, and let the conversation breathe.

It’s not about being deep all the time.

It’s about making her feel like she’s talking to a person, not a script.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Small talk is basically only the beginning where the other person is a complete stranger and you know nothing about them.

After that though you should know the person well enough to know what they wanna talk about and what they don't wanna talk about.

MikeMcMansion · Answer

Only dudes find small talk annoying. Women are masters of small talk, it’s their native tongue. They’re like dogs, they could be yapping but almost all of the real conversation is happening through body language and tone. They ain’t Karen only carin bout cash. If they like you they’ll keep talking about nothing, thats your cue.

Anonymous · Answer

Then swtich to deep talk 🤷‍♂️
In my experience, they give in when they see you can initiate (confident able to), where you also trult get to understand her and make your points too.. evwn if you disagree but present yourself in such a great manner. Yes, I'd escalate a silly topic to a bigger one the smoothest I can, and ends up in my favour usually. Unless the girl is empty herself. Otherwise, they like and encourage it. If not first or second, then thrid and fourth times.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Don’t talk small Easy Be deliberate. Flirt Share meaningful information  Let her speak as much as possible  It’s basically that

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Then find topics with meaning and relevance to converse about.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is where charisma and sense of humor can come into play.

YourExLover69 · Answer

Be chatty, don't repeat anything. I love chatty people and I myself can be chatty, friendly, talkative if I find open minded chatty lady for chats 😊

MJVillarama · Answer

Skip generic questions and ask about her passions, funny experiences, or opinions. Sharing stories and listening actively makes even “small talk” feel meaningful.

exitseven · Answer

Try an be more intersting. Talk about other things other that the weather or the Mets.

Anonymous · Answer

Unless you have talked to "so many" of the women on this planet you're just making assumptions.

Anonymous · Answer

A Hunter shall not hunt asking the prey. AIM INTIATE AND ACHIEVE that's all people might tell a lot of shit but only a guy has to initiate if you hot you hit or try for another that's it

guesswhereivebeen · Answer

Work on being funny… small talk is lame… so where are you from… blah blah… if you can make her laugh your on the. Right path I’ve found

Piercejeans1 · Answer

This line seems to work extremely well for one guy on the planet. "Hi. My name is Elon Musk and I am rich as hell" One problem... only works for one guy on the planet.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't want to connect with a woman who finds small talk boring. Because a woman that would say that is a🚩.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Don’t radicalize kids. They are gonna be bad news as they grow

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

How 'bout what's on her head and in her bra, shorts or jeans?

itsannalee · Answer

Find out about her hobbies.

Anonymous · Answer

For me it's impossible, unless she starts talking.

slatyb · Answer

Have something more interesting to say.

jtg13 · Answer

Take interest in their interests.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

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How can you connect with a woman if so many find small talk boring?

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