Should I lie about to my boyfriend about my virginity?

[catharsisss]

my boyfriend and i have been in a LDR for about 2 years now, never seen each other in person. when we first started talking he asked me if i was a virgin, to which i said no (i have been with one person before, for five years). i was honest. he’s been devastated by that our whole relationship and over time he just feels worse and worse. i hate him feeling this bad, and he says he still wants to be with me, but i kind of want to just tell him that i lied about NOT being a virgin, and that i’m actually a virgin, so that he doesn’t feel so bad. will making him think i’ve lied to him this whole time be worse than him knowing im not a virgin? what should i do? i’m thinking of buying a plane ticket to see him this summer.

[Jessica405]

NEVER lie to a partner. You cannot build a true relationship on lies. If he ever finds out, it will be worse than him being told the truth from the start.

[Jessica405]

Think very carefully before you go see him. He may make your life miserable if he can't accept that you had a previous relationship. That was your right and he has to accept that. He might even become a control freak, watching your every move.

[Staximus]

The guy is not your boyfriend, you've never seen him in person. He's just some guy you talk to online or on the phone. You have to see somebody in more than once to be in a relationship with them. Stop wasting your time with some far away idiot who cares so much about something stupid like your virginity, The guy has no right to judge you. Go find a guy who lives near you who you can see whenever you want.

[Ariesman81]

Lying now will only make you feel better. It will put doubt in his head. Right now he sees you as an honest sinner. Lie to him and at best, he'll see you as a dishonest virgin. But the seed of doubt will grow into something neither of you will be able to overcome.

[beenherebefore]

No, you shouldn't. If you're not able to be honest with your Partner about such thing then you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. Your way of thinking is very immature.

[catharsisss]

i’ve been honest with him for the last 2 years.

[beenherebefore]

Then why would feel the need of bringing a lie now?

[catharsisss]

because he’s been devastated over it for the last 2 years, just gradually feeling worse and worse about the fact that i’m not a virgin.

[beenherebefore]

so your solution to that is lying? pathetic. you cannot undo what you did or said to him. if you guys cannot get over it then that might be a sign your relationship is not meant to be.

[Summeroflove]

See my previous answer. No

[catharsisss]

just looking for more responses on a different tab, not necessarily different answers.

[Summeroflove]

Okay

[Anonymous]

You just posted this a few hours ago and it has plenty of response. Reported.

[jahaims]

You are too immature to be in a relationship if you think lying is a solution

[chiragvirani]

Yes, If any lie make others happy then I think it's ok.

[HighValue]

Lying ruins relationships.

[catharsisss]

i agree, for the most part. although i’m pretty sure telling him the truth this entire time is also slowly ruining the relationship.

[HighValue]

Is he a virgin himself?

[CountryWanderer]

No, he deserves you being honest with him

[In_Trance]

You're living in a fairytale.