I'm confused, am I doing anything wrong?

[Anonymous]

Hello!

So, I'd like to ask: Why are men not interested in me?

I'm 19 (F), still in highschool and I'm graduating this year. I have around 2 girl friends, but I wouldn't say we're close. They open up to me a lot, but I feel like I never talk about me or my troubles. It's just not comfortable and I don't wanna burden them.

As for my looks - I am 152 cm tall and weight 65 kg. Not extremely fat, but not skinny. My boobs are C cups, so my boobs look bigger cause I'm really short... Same for my hips and bottom. And my face? Not ugly, not hot, maybe cute when I smile. Brown hair, blue/greenish eyes. Plus I was told I have big eyes. Not sure if that's a good thing, although a lot of people told me I have pretty eyes.

Guys my age never seem interested in me. They are always nice and kind, but nothing more. I am pretty certain it's due to my antisocial nature.

I mind my business and help if I can. I try to support people around me. I've always been the "quiet one", but people always like me? They always stand up for me, even if we don't actively talk. They say "I'm too nice to be treated bad".

For the last year I grew self conscious about men's opinions on me. To clarify - I've never had sex, a kiss and never held hands at almost 20.

Men don' make moves on me, I tried to be the one to make the move. I asked out a guy I go to school with. He was nice and kind, but he rejected me. It hurt, but I also felt proud for telling him lol.

Then i tried a dating app (boo) but other than guys wanting hook ups, nothing. One guy I talked to for two weeks ghosted me a week after we met. I'd say we both enjoyed it, cause he even said he didn't want it to end yet, plus he texted me after the "date" he liked it.

Another guy ghosted me after one message where I told him I liked his (clothing) style. And another guy ghosted me after I wished him happy birthday. But he also accepted my follow request? Dunno, confused as this is pretty recent.

So, that's all. Am I doing anything wrong?

[Anonymous]

You remind me a lot of a girl in my school back then. She wasn't ugly, not the prettiest either. Just very run of the mill girl. What I know about her is that she is quiet and was usually around girls.

here's the thing, you aren't the prettiest girl in the room so you don't stand out based on just looks. That means the eyes are on the prettiest girl and those who can divert attention with their personality.

That does mean its easily fixable and that your looks aren't the issue even if the last paragraph may gave you that idea. there's nothing wrong with your looks your just not going to be noticed on looks alone while a prettier girl is in the room. So your going to have to be noticed based on personality.

This girl in my class? I'd have noticed her, became her friend and wanted her if she had things in common with me. If it turns out she's more compatible with me than the other girls that would make me look at her instead. But i'd never know because all I ever notice is that she is quiet. Both in the speaks so softly I won't hear her from my seat and in the sense she barely spoke. So instead my crush was a girl who sat next to me in the computer orientation. She was the only girl to show up to that. That put her on my radar. She was pretty to but the main reason I noticed her over prettier girls was that compatibility factor. Unfortunately at the time I was to shy to approach because I think she'd have been interested in me to.

But thats ultimately my advice, be like that girl where people know what you are like and know what you like. Attract your type by being open that you are compatible. Which means showing your personality to people beyond being the shy quiet girl. When that happens you will have more attention, and if that doesn't work just ask the guy who spends time with you and you like. Chances are he is also shy.

[Zack-Bann]

You’re at a turning point
Don’t worry too much about high school


Once in college / working you’ll see a whole new side of people


Generally the rule is to be as social as possible
Especially for women.


Also you may not be severely overweight but if you got into fitness it will help
It’s just human nature we all gravitate towards fit people and want to be fit ourselves


But don’t overdo it.
You shouldn’t harm yourself to try to fit some arbitrary standard

[Asker]

Hey, yeah, I agree, I actually do work out. But because of my sensitive stomach I can't exercise much. Max like ten minutes a day and some light exercises. That's why I focus on all the things I eat. I lost twenty kilos so far, but at this point it seems impossible to lose any more weight.

[Zack-Bann]

Are you kidding? dropping 20 kg is insane!!! Congratulations

You should stabilize your weight so you don’t regain them and then you can gradually increase your diet if you wanted to

But all this is nice for yourself not for the opinion of others

If you want people in your life you have to socialize as I said in the original comment

[SueShe]

The entire dating business is a learning process with ups and downs, rejections and ghosting, even for a woman. You have gone through those steps from what I can read.

Don't be harsh on yourself for not having had a man interested in you. This is probably not you but rather those guys. You stated yourself that they only are interested in hookups and that is the truth. If someone really wants something, then they will do the effort but in your age group, fornication is the key word for boys and young adults.

Give it time and don't change your approach. Don't pretend to be someone you are not because you will end up paying the high price for it.

[Nikki1989]

High school is a bubble where “loud and flashy” wins. Give it time, high school is not a good time to base anything on.

[Alex-Snow]

You are not doing anything wrong. You sound like a nice person. As u found out a lot of guys on dating apps just want sex and not much more. When you least expect it the right guy will enter your life! Hang in there.

[BarryLiverstone]

As you said you are 5 feet tall, the average weight range is 97 to 127 lbs. so if you did want to set goals for 2026 that’s one thing you can work on to be healthier

[dudeinohio]

Probably doing nothing wrong. You are still very young. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to experience a relationship.

[Staximus]

You need to develop some social skills and interact with people in person

[CountryWanderer]

Not doing anything wrong, it's hard dating