Why do women not like when a guy has never been in a relationship?

Question

I swear once they ask how many girls I’ve dated and I say literally none, it’s like a death sentence to us potentially getting somewhere lol. It just seems so wrong and backwards. Like I can literally bring nothing but good energy, no baggage, like I haven’t even laid my hands on another girl, it’s all for you… I’m all yours... But it’s a bad thing apparently and I just get ghosted lol insanity.

Man if an attractive woman was like ”I’m 28 years old, have a pretty face and a great rack and I’m a virgin and never been with a guy” do you know HOW many guys would be lining up for that?

MrChinaski · Accepted Answer

It's not a red flag for most but a very vibrant pink for many, I think. Why have you never dated? Possible explanations are:

- You have been focused on other things and it has never been priority. So what have you achieved by focusing elsewhere? What is it about your successes that compensate for not investing in a relationship?

- You have not developed skills in an intimate setting, like prioritising a partner's wellbeing sometimes, achieving compromises on important life decisions, managing conflict from a place of love, etc. So what other aspects of your life have you developed the same skills? Very close friends, volunteering, leadership in your workplace?

- You have a severe lack of self-confidence, for whatever reasons.

- You give many women the ick.

There are many other possible explanations and it may be a combination of partial explanations.

Just don't tell me you have never met the Right Person to start a relationship, at least. Right People are everywhere around you. They may not be people you want to marry, but they are people for which it is worth finding out whether that is the case.

Like it or not, people make assumptions about you based on your behaviour and life choices. These assumptions may be false, but if you care then it is your job to demonstrate that, not their job to discover they are false.

But I'm a guy. I may have misinterpreted many women in many different ways and invite any responses to correct my comments.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Women have their own logic that a man who has never dated is a red flag. So they want to see some "work history" on paper. They think it means a guy must not be good with women, has done things to run women away, or is a sex offender or something. Not considering that there are men who have lived their whole lives being afraid of talking to women, which in some sense might be a little extreme and ridiculous, but so many dudes out there today are afraid of approaching chicks. It's sad.

Meanwhile, these messed-up females will take their chances with dudes who have gotten other women pregnant in the past (and I ain't talking about just black men) just because they know how to talk the talk or be the kind of bad guys these chicks want, and later on get hurt from it.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

While usually it is a red flag if a man hasn't been with a woman by 30, it's not always a red flag if they haven't had a relationship yet with a woman. My ex didn't have a relationship with anyone until me and same goes for me as well. Though we did sleep with people before getting together.

It's funny though we would have been each other's first if I had given him a chance in college. I wish he had been my first but that's neither here nor there.

The point is, it's not always a bad thing but it can be. I've dated a virgin and it didn't go very well. Maybe the women that you have been trying to see, have tried dating an inexperienced guy and it didn't work out for the same reason it didn't work out for me with that particular guy.

Inexperience isn't always a bad thing but usually you become the teacher and a woman that's submissive doesn't want to have to be the teacher. So that may be why.

Which I'm sorry about but that's just the truth of the matter.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Depends how old the guy is. For example, a guy I was close with (M47) claimed he was never in a relationship. He and two other guys (M54, M55) all ended up "engaged" for a hot second just so that no one would claim they were just players... They ARE, but they have the "sad bachelor" story now... Both are a red flag.

If you're in your 40s (or older), even MARGINALLY good looking and have NEVER been in a relationship, that's a red flag. The gal is thinking:

Why has NO ONE snatched you up yet?
Why haven't you made the effort?
Where is the bottleneck?
Are you gay and in the closet?

The fake engagement thing is also a red flag. Why was it a one-time thing for you... Oh, you never got over her so you're going to f*ck your way to the new millennium? Anny woman with half a brain will call bs on that one... Women are expected to bounce back from that sort of thing... so should guys.

MrOracle · Answer

1. While most women don't care so much if you haven't dated when you're 18, if you're into your 20s and haven't dated, they immediately think "there's something wrong with him that he hasn't been able to attract a woman in all this time" (even though that's not exactly how things actually work). While men value purity and a lack of experience in women, women value experience, skill, and maturity in men. Attraction between men and women is asymmetric - we don't value the same things.

2. Women are generally VERY consensus-oriented - they care, a LOT, about what other women think. If they saw a guy and didn't find him attractive or interesting, but then 8 women walk in the room and they are all clearly interested in him, most women's opinion is going to change - if those other women want him, then surely he must have some value, right? But it works the other way, too. A woman could be absolutely head-over-heels for a guy, but if all the other women in her life don't like him, then she's probably going to lose interest in him too, even if those women had no real reason not to like him. And a guy who hasn't dated other women lacks the "seal of approval" of other women by default, and that makes him suspicious, at least once he reaches college age.

Consider this too: the men that women find the MOST attractive will almost always have dated and slept with TONS of other women - it could be hundreds or even thousands, depending on how old the guy is - and, yet, a majority of women would jump at the chance to be with one of those guys, even just for a night, even knowing that he doesn't really care about her. Some might talk about how it's gross if a guy has slept with a bunch of women, but if she (and other women) find him really attractive, those rules go right out the window.

So, understand that women don't think like men. Women operate far more on feelings and on approval of the group than they do on facts and evidence and logic - but in their world, their feelings and the approval of the group IS their logic. You can't understand women if you try to apply male logic to them - their brains just don't work that way.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because you are to old not to of had a girlfriend by now , also girls’ like guys’ that have experience, especially in the bedroom , most girls don’t want to have to teach a man on how to please her in bed , that’s a turn off to most girls’ because girls’ love being submissive to a man she is head over heels for. So you are probably best to lie and say you have exes , just like girls’ lie about how many guys’ she slept with or her age lol

Summeroflove · Answer

Don’t worry about those women. If they want a man with tons of baggage from past relationships. That’s on her.

AviatorTom · Answer

Simple... They wonder what's wrong with him that no woman has shown an interest in him.

HighValue · Answer

Usually one of two reasons.

1. They know you aren't the type to have slept around and she likely has and knows she isn't morally good enough and is subconsciously ashamed of her own past.

2. They are stupid. (This one applies to the MAJORITY of women.) They think you aren't a good person and nobody wants you for that reason, but if a guy has slept around, been with many women, even has been unfaithful, many women WILL be interested in people like that because they often go for exactly what they claim they don't want and they often avoid exactly the kind of men they claim they do want.

Zack-Bann · Answer

It’s a sign he’s a poor selection for a mate
And if you say “literally none” it sounds like you’re sad and bitter about it

No woman wants to become the punching bag of your pent up frustration for 30 years

Being sexually active means you’re open minded, know how to handle a woman

If you’re a virgin struggling with it my advice would be: lie.
Lie like your life depends on it.

At 22 years old I didn’t tell my first partner I was a virgin
I told her I had a few short experiences
She never figured it out
By 28 I’ve been with 19 different women.
I don’t need to lie anymore.

It’s simple as long as you keep it simple

LaureenVO · Answer

I think it's because of your age. No offense, but a man that hasn't dated a single woman at the age of 30-35 can be a red flag. Not saying that you are, but it can make women think about the 'why'. Perhaps you're not a good person? Or you don't know how to date? Or you're abusive? Not saying that you are any of those things, but women just want to know why, not even a single woman, has been in a relationship with you. I think that's it.

But don't worry, there are women out there who do really like and appreciate men like you. Just be yourself no matter what, be kind, make them feel safe and make them laugh. You will definitely find your person. Maybe also try to go out more, date around a little, talk to women more often, etc.. Not in a fuckboy way, but just to get some experience in how to treat a woman.

Sugar100 · Answer

I’m 28 and never had a boyfriend I never had a serious relationship.

supposedly I’m pretty but no guys are in line be my boyfriend.

i get guys that say they already had a serious relationship and met her parents or relationship was 10 years and they have baby and they don’t want another relationship at moment.
so then I’m torn sad. As I wish I had that life had a 10 year relationship age 20-28 and be single rn with guys baby.

but no I’m 28 left with nothing.

guys just want hookup to friends with benefits. Even if one guy wants a serous relationship it’s the most ugliest guy out of my leuage.

I’m a short skinny blonde , I’m not a virgin but I haven’t had sex 4 years and body count is 2.

MikeMcMansion · Answer

“A death sentence to us potentially getting anywhere”. Stop looking at it that way. You are blessed to be saved from drama and heartache before it ever happens. Guys with options are guys with more problems. The space and time you can save and re-invest into hobbies, spirituality, wisdom…I envy, I envy your autonomy and freedom. Untethered from carnality, just embrace it and go with it. Stop longing for it, I miss the days of my innocence. I was a late bloomer due to my geographic locale where I was raised and the jobs I chose at 18. I hardly ever thought about women and lust and my life could’ve been so much better if I never pursued it.

Anonymous · Answer

It's just the flipside of guys. Guys do not like a woman who has been with a 💩ton of guys. Well women are the inverse of that. It's sad, but if a guy hasn't dated many or ANY women then the women feels she's getting leftovers, a guy no woman wants. But you can't let this get you down mam. Because G@G bears out the fact that most women make very very poor decisions when it comes to choosing men. It's the great tragedy that is dating. Women eagerly choose guys that will borrow money, punch on her, cheat on her, f*** her friends, and even dump her. And she'll lament how she wants him back.😆 And the guy that would actually be good for her is invisible. You can't do anything but laugh at it all.😆😆😆

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

If you're over 30 and have never been in a relationship, women are going to wonder why and come to the conclusion that there must be a valid reason other women don't want to be in a relationship with you. If you have a couple female friends and are seen with them, that red flag goes away. Women want a guy that's been vetted by other women because if they develop feelings for you, they want their feelings validated that other women feel the same about you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is not a problem if you are young. From 21 and onward, you really should have some life experience behind you.

molonski2 · Answer

It's a pretty obvious serious Red Flag.. Zero experience at 28 ? That's horrendous, I suggest you come up with an alternate answer.

Fruitpunch1789 · Answer

Women want a man who is experienced because they don’t want to teach or in this case, be the leader. Just try to avoid that topic as best as you can.

msc545 · Answer

Because it leads the woman to think there's something wrong with the man, even if she hasn't figured out what it is as yet. Just make up something and tell them that. They won't know the difference.

beenherebefore · Answer

Most women feel safer and secure with experienced guys.

Zionne · Answer

Maybe because they dont want to be the girl that gets to experienced the "taxi cab theory"

Shrimpenjoyer · Answer

How often have this happened to you? Like they have asked every you every single time? It seems like you have had bad luck running into trash women

LongLiveBillGates · Answer

It means he's a loser and you can bet he's a CONservative and worships Don that Con.

exitseven · Answer

They think that there is something wrong with them, especially if they are in their 30s and 40s.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

They see him as someone who doesn't know the nuances of a relationship.

Chthou95 · Answer

Because it's social proof or lack of. Women don't want to be with a man that no other women have wanted or dated. It's called mate choice copying selection and is much more common in women

blackeagle007 · Answer

Confused by this. Married by 30, or had a relationship at least?

robocop666 · Answer

I know a man. he is a solid 8 out of ten and probably has never even been on a date. People reckon he is a-sexual. Women are disappointed.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm almost two decades older than you, and still a virgin, never been in a relationship, never had a kiss... so I know the feeling.

Bloodparadise · Answer

May I ask what you bring forth in a relationship

Anonymous · Answer

In a nutshell, men prefer inexperienced women, and women prefer experienced men.

queenofcardio · Answer

I'd very curious about why he hasn't.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Women value men with experience

Anonymous · Answer

Just another reminder oh well

Why do women not like when a guy has never been in a relationship?

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