Do girls not like dating a guy who has never dated before?

[Anonymous]

Would you be OK being The first guy he ever has dated or is that too weird and awkward. what if the guy is shy and 22. I feel left out being the only guy who has never dated

[bobair]

If you're fun, socially calibrated, and sweet... you'll do fine.

If you're awkward and you'll embarrass her in front of her friends because you don't know how to be social? Then you'll do terrible.

Girls don't really care about your past... they only care about who you're BEING when they're with you. If you're being honest and sincere and you're not dangerous, or needy, then you'll do great!

~ Robby

[Asker]

What if I am not the best socially

[bobair]

Being "good" at being social comes from hanging out with friends and learning to be comfortable with yourself... you know, expressing yourself and such. And learning when to listen to someone and when to talk.

This doesn't mean you need to be the centre of attention, or that you need to talk much.

Social calibration mostly comes down to being relaxed in a group, even if you don't talk. And, surprisingly, being a good listener. Women love good listeners!

Does that help? :)

[Asker]

It is easy to be relaxed if I am not talking talking makes me nervous

[bobair]

Many of us feel the same way dude, don't sweat it.

You're nervous because you're worried about what other people think of you. And if you say something stupid you're worried you'll be judged as stupid or silly or what ever.

Your mistake is thinking that what other people think of you matters.

It doesn't.

There is nothing as powerful as NOT caring about the GOOD opinion of others!

It's your ego holding you back... worrying about your image, etc.

Let go! Relax. Try smiling. :)

[Asker]

How long did it take you to not be shy assuming you were

[bobair]

It took me about 100 conversations.

I started making small talk with strangers everyday... asking for the time, talking about sports or the news... and within a year I was really enjoying talking to women I didn't yet know.

I quickly learned that everyone likes talking, especially about them selves.

Try asking questions or asking people for their opinions... then you don't have to talk, just listen.

[Asker]

100! can't it be more like 10 or 5, that number seems less scary.

[bobair]

Hehe... ya well each new conversation will show you how friendly people can be, assuming you're friendly no matter how they react.

Think of your confidence like your muscles... it grows slowly and only through continuous effort and training.

Don't get lazy!

[Asker]

I guess I understand that

[mike5150]

Im 22 and I been on a couple dates but that's it. I don't really know much in terms of dating or what to do but I always feel like I'm just awkward. There are girls out there who would date you but in my experiance its a very small ammount.

[calichick]

its not a big deal. there are pleanty of people in the same boat as you. even if they have experience with dating I assure you its the least of their worries. if they like you as a person that's all that really matters.

[Asker]

You sure?

[calichick]

unless theyre shallow, its really not a big deal. just don't be awkward! lol

[Asker]

What is awkward to you

[calichick]

like when I'm trying to flirt with a guy and he doesn't really know how to flirt back and maybe he gets nervous and it starts to show then he becomes awkward.

[Asker]

Oh... Bummer I would be nervous

[calichick]

really? ha ha awe its kinda cute though! lol

[Asker]

I would seriously be nervous and indontknow anything about flirting I was kind of hoping a girl would not find all that flirting touching nd stuff important

[calichick]

its not important, its just fun but you don't need to flirt to have fun.

[Asker]

That's good I don't know if I would enjoy flirting

[calichick]

it's not for everyone I suppose.

[Asker]

Can a guy succeed if he does not want to flirt

[calichick]

oh definitely!

[Asker]

How though how do I tell her I like her then

[calichick]

you just tell her.

[Asker]

thanks

[Anonymous]

No I'm my boyfriends first girlfriend and I think its better because most girls I know this that awkward shy guys (like my boyfriend) are cute and that's how some girls get to notice u

[Asker]

So it is not bad

[Anonymous]

Find a girl who is equally socially awkward or else brush up those skills.

[Asker]

How do you get the skills

[Opinion Owner]

Practice. Talk to more people: strangers, teachers, cashiers, waitresses, etc.

[Asker]

So do scary things

[Opinion Owner]

Ya. That's the only way scary sh*t becomes less scary! :)

[Asker]

bummer I feel so scared right now.

[Opinion Owner]

It's like a form of Cognitive Therapy. Google some techniques! :D Good luck!

[Asker]

I don't think I have heard of it before. You really think I need therapy? :(

[Opinion Owner]

Nah ... it's like a training technique for your mind. It can be used for anything from big things like severe anxiety to little things like fear of spiders (I have that one!)

[Asker]

So I can do it myself, is it easy.

[Opinion Owner]

It's never easy doing scary stuff! But it helps you make a concrete plan and learn techniques. Preparing makes things less difficult.

[Asker]

I want to be able to do this so maybe I should look into it. I hope it can make me talk to a girl or something. I really want to just talk to someone but I feel scared.

[Anonymous]

Why not? I'm 21 and the last girlfriend I had was in 7th grade for a few months. I'm just not a relationship guy.

[Asker]

They might think something is wrong with him

[Opinion Owner]

Nahh most girls aren't that way. Besides they won't know they're your first girlfriend until later on probably. At which point they already like you.

[Asker]

Ok thanks I guess

[moviedude714]

i wonder too, I feel the best thing to do is just keep stepping out of your comfort zone

[Anonymous]

i would date you. that's not a problem for me