What advice do you have for a 30 year old man who’s never dated or had a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I made this post because I need all the help I can get since I’m so far behind at this point. I just feel like most girls want a guy my age who has experience with dating and relationships, rather than a guy who has no experience. I really do feel like the lack of experience now has me stuck in an infinite loop of rejection to where dating for me will just be a repeating process of going out on dates and then getting rejected every single time once they find out that I don’t have any experience. I obviously wouldn’t tell them that I’m inexperienced, but it’s pretty common for girls to ask guys they’re dating about past relationships and dating history and then you can find yourself stuck and forced to reveal that you don’t have any experience.

[_Maya_]

Okay so experience meaning? Relationships? Sex? What? Also how would a girl know you lack experience unless you show them or tell them? That's a sign of lack of confidence. Don't take this the wrong way please because I don't have anything against people using the anonymous feature. But why? Lack of confidence in who you are. I bet if I served you at the bar I work at you wouldn't attempt small talk because you have this defeatest mindset. You already think you'll fail. I can see it in how you write. If be happy to help with specific things if ya want though.

[Asker]

No experience in either really. I’ve never been in a relationship and I have hardly any sexual experience. I think that any girl who has experience can probably tell when a guy has none, so actions can speak louder than words in this situation. If you’re asking why I have no experience, it’s a long story. Yeah I obviously lack confidence because I have no experience and I feel like I don’t have much to be proud of. No I would not attempt small talk, I would just order my drink and say thank you after you hand it to me and that would be the extent of our interaction. I’m sure I would fail and I hold the belief that girls don’t want to be hit on while they’re at work, they have a job to do. If you want to help, I’m all ears.

[_Maya_]

I'm happy to do what I can. So lack of confidence... i can almost smell it. There is nothing I personally can do to fix that. Not like I can snap my fingers and say stop it. What you can do though is put yourself in better positions like going out with a group of friemds. Groups of guys and groups of girls mix an mingle and guess what? Way less pressure than one on one right? You can ease into a group convo.

[Asker]

That presents another problem, I have no friends. I literally have 0 friends so going out in a group setting isn’t really an option for me.

[_Maya_]

Alright. Well this is a project then. How open are ya to gaining a little confidence in yourself? Like serious or not really?

[Asker]

I could try, but it seems like an uphill battle at this point.

[_Maya_]

Well there isn't much I can do. I can tell you do this or that but ultimately it is up to you to do it. I can give you every tip I can think of. Unless you put it to practical use it's wasting keyboard strokes. So... and this may do nothing at all... but I have an idea. Mix it up with me on the forum here. Jump on my opinions when you see them. Make me laugh. Have some fun. Know you can talk to a girl. It may be such a small small step but might boost you a bit interacting and letting loose. It may also do nada.

[_Maya_]

@charliefretz329 am I a good time on this site to have fun and let loose?

[Asker]

I mean, it’s worth a try I guess. Maybe I should make better use of this site because what I’ve mainly used it for and I hope you don’t think this is weird, but I’ve mostly used it to talk with girls about their sex lives. I’m telling you this because my confidence is so low that I genuinely believe that I’ll never have a sex life of my own, so I wanted to live vicariously through a girl’s sex life by talking with her about it in detail. This is probably the wrong way to think, but it has been so hard to stop and the girls on here that I talk with know why I do it and they don’t mind.

[_Maya_]

I don't judge. You can talk to whomever you want about whatever you want. All I'm saying is be social... with me... out on the forum. It's a start. A small one? Yeah but it is a start. Joke around with me. You said you wouldn't small talk if I served you. Now is the chance. I'm not really active weekends but I'll be around. 👍

[Asker]

Yeah maybe I’ll give it a try. Do you think the goal could be that if I do good at being social with you that we could DM? I will be honest and say that I would like it if we could talk about sex in the DM’s if it gets that far. I know that I just said that it probably isn’t healthy, but maybe we could talk about sex advice more than your sex life? I understand if you aren’t interested in that. But having that goal to have a chance to DM with you could help me.

[_Maya_]

Let's start by having some fun on the forum. I've actually got some stuff going on tonight but will be on at times this weekend. We can DM at some point. Whole things is to HAVE FUN!!

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what I was saying is that DM’ing with you should be a reward that I work towards. I have a very busy weekend with work and I probably won’t be on here until the weekend is over. So if we do get to DM, is it ok with you if we talk about sex?

[_Maya_]

When we get to that point. I'll talk to ya Monday. Have a good weekend.

[Asker]

Thank you!! That’s definitely gonna give me motivation if us talking about in the DM’s is an eventual goal. You as well, talk to you Monday.

[Asker]

*us talking about sex

[_Maya_]

Lmao the guy that responded. I'm done here. Anons...

[Asker]

Yeah I saw that lol, I did not need to be preached at and people like that always annoy me.

[Charliefretz329]

@_Maya_ is definitely fun to cut loose with 😁

[Anonymous]

You will discover that DMing with that girl below will be a big waste of time. The only reason why any of what you mentioned is even a problem is because a very high percentage of women are of the Jezebel spirit which means they don't care about you as a person, only how good you can make them feel. Instead of trying to adapt to the Jezebel spirit and promiscuity, you should instead seek to find a woman on your own level, one who is not of the Jezebel spirit or brainwashed by this promiscuous, fallen society.

A true woman of God is the only type of woman that will see you for who you are and be more interested in ascension and the Kingdom, than how many other women you have, or have not slept with. Many men are busy trying to adjust and adapt to failing morals, demonic behavior and ideas, rather than becoming higher than, and looking for equally high.

[Selene1600000]

Most women care more about confidence, honesty, emotional maturity, and how you treat them than the number of relationships you had before. The bigger problem is not your lack of experience, but how much fear and shame you attach to it because people can feel that energy during dating. You do not need to announce “I have no experience,” just be genuine, relaxed, and willing to learn instead of treating yourself like you are already disqualified.

[Charliefretz329]

Maya is definitely fun to talk to! Lol

[Anonymous]

Seems to be more common than we think