He switched up after sex?

[Anonymous]

was talking to this guy for 6 weeks we met on a dating app added him on snapchat chilled a few times we had sex once at my place we didn’t exchanged numbers as I knew it wasn’t going to be long term so kept it on my socials and after sex he just changed and then was like my family have found me someone to marry so I am going to talk to her I didn’t question it just said ok I didn’t once beg or anything I just said it’s really weird and he’s like I told you my family come first

sex was because we both wanted it but I dunno I just feel so weird we had it after 6 weeks of talking and then this happened. Any advice will be appreciated

[bowenw]

He must have known his family was going to find him someone to marry, if that is his culture. If you were not looking for a long term relationship either, I don't see any harm in what happened. You both got what you wanted. If you have feelings for him, I suggest asking him if he is definitely going to marry the person his family has arranged and/or if he has a choice in it before giving up.

[Asker]

Tbh with you he deleted me because I acted so unbothered when he told me as soon as he said he’s going to delete me I said that’s fine some shit you do don’t make sense anyways and he was like how am I lying when I told you the truth blah blah blah

I did try to re add him back but he didn’t accept so after a couple of house I just blocked him where he can’t add me again and I’ve deleted my social media

[bowenw]

It sounds like he was hoping to get a reaction out of you and had his ego hurt when it backfired. Hopefully you can put it all behind you and move on.

[Asker]

Yeah he didn’t I wouldn’t allow it I rather hurt in silence tbh

[bowenw]

I'm sorry that you are hurting. You are human and didn't do anything wrong to deserve it.

[Asker]

Thank you! Do you think I did right tho not beg him or anything? Because it’s funny you say he wanted a reaction out of me but I didn’t think that I didn’t show I was hurting or anything

[bowenw]

You did what you thought was best in the circumstances. I think if you had begged him he may have assumed he could keep having sex with you, maybe as a side piece to his fiancée.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely and I would never beg that’s for sure e

[OlderAndWiser]

You had sex without commitment and now you are acting surprised because he feels no commitment to you; does that accurately summarize the situation?

[Asker]

Look it isn’t even about the sex I wouldn’t sleep with someone and then put the blame on them that’s not in my nature. But what hurts me a lot is that we both got on so so well that even he said it himself and now his dad found him someone and he needs to talk to her as both of their dads want them too. He told me he’s a shit bag when it comes to his dad which is fair enough but how can someone throw something away that was special and move on to next girl?

[beenherebefore]

Six weeks is still pretty soon to have sex with someone you're not committed with. He got what he wanted and dipped. Typical of boys.

[Asker]

Look it isn’t even about the sex I wouldn’t sleep with someone and then put the blame on them that’s not in my nature. But what hurts me a lot is that we both got on so so well that even he said it himself and now his dad found him someone and he needs to talk to her as both of their dads want them too. He told me he’s a shit bag when it comes to his dad which is fair enough but how can someone throw something away that was special and move on to next girl?

[beenherebefore]

In the beginning things are always nice and special and feelings always seem stronger than they are. If he takes so much in consideration what his dad/parents say about whatever I think that's a pretty clear sign that you should move on. You want a guy that is independent and can think and make decisions for himself or a guy who needs his dad approval and final word on everything? Also my take on your situation is that he never had plans to commit to you for whatever reason, he acted the way any boy would to get what he wanted. He got it and now he's moving on and you should move on too. Take this as a learning lesson and next time do not fall for any guy who sweet talks you because that's how they catch you and then you're leaving wondering how did this happened to me?

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply! And yes so true he did say himself he would be with me if it wasn’t down to his family makes me sad tbh but I have to suck it up and just deal with it. I don’t understand some people. It wasn’t even the sweet talk it was the way we got on with eachother talking to eachother all the time seeing eachother all the time etc. Inseparable but then bam his finds him someone and that’s it he’s gone he need to focus all his energy on to her

[beenherebefore]

It happens. Most women have been in similar situations before. It's hard to swallow and hard to understand but in a year from now that boy is going to mean nothing to you and you'll be in a much better place. Stay strong.

[Asker]

Omg guess what turns out he’s married 😂 he was definitely falling more than he thought that’s why he cut thing of so quick

[beenherebefore]

WOW! Yea definitely a deal breaker.

[Asker]

Definitely and is it weird I don’t even feel bad or anything because it shows he’s the one that isn’t happy in the marriage

[beenherebefore]

He's the one who was completely wrong in this situation. Only thing you should feel is disgust towards him.

[Asker]

Exactly babe and I do! I’m happy it’s like a weight lifted of my shoulder xx

[WhitneySnow]

He just wanted a hook up. Probably one of those guys who keeps track of his body count and doesn’t sleep with a girl more than once.

[Asker]

Very true probs

[DishLady]

You gave it up too soon, kiddo.

[Asker]

Look it isn’t even about the sex I wouldn’t sleep with someone and then put the blame on them that’s not in my nature. But what hurts me a lot is that we both got on so so well that even he said it himself and now his dad found him someone and he needs to talk to her as both of their dads want them too. He told me he’s a shit bag when it comes to his dad which is fair enough but how can someone throw something away that was special and move on to next girl?

[DishLady]

Guys literally do it all the time.

[Asker]

My first experience lol

[Asker]

Update turns out he was married lmao

[Daytoday79]

I'm sorry, this guy just wanted sex, so he used you. He just wanted a body, not a relationship. That sucks. Using a person as if they don't feelings sucks. You're well rid of him. He's a total jerk.

[Asker]

Look it isn’t even about the sex I wouldn’t sleep with someone and then put the blame on them that’s not in my nature. But what hurts me a lot is that we both got on so so well that even he said it himself and now his dad found him someone and he needs to talk to her as both of their dads want them too. He told me he’s a shit bag when it comes to his dad which is fair enough but how can someone throw something away that was special and move on to next girl?

[Daytoday79]

He should do what he wants, not what his dad wants for him.

[Asker]

Exactly I’m so hurt

[Daytoday79]

Why does he do whatever his dad tells him, especially when it comes to love, it's his own life, not his dad's

[Asker]

Exactly what I said to him. Now I can’t stop being sick literally cause he let me go well deleted me cause his dad found him someone else

[Daytoday79]

Ughh I'm so sorry, that's terrible, I understand how you feel

[Asker]

Update turns out he was married lmao

[Daytoday79]

Omfg that's horrible. I'm so sorry. I'd be so angry. I can't imagine what you're feeling. I know that this is too easy for me to say, but I truly believe that you should find a guy who puts you first, above his parents, because his love for you is the most important thing in his life. You deserve better.

[Asker]

Yes exactly you’re right!! Also Definitely and is it weird I don’t even feel bad or anything because it shows he’s the one that isn’t happy in the marriage no wonder he kept on going on about the arrange marriage and his family

[Anonymous]

Yeah, move on. And the start making better choices.

You seem like it bothers you, but you're trying not to let on that it bothers you.

[Asker]

Yeah of course I can’t show it bothers me I have to be strong 100% because that shows my emotions are weak

[Opinion Owner]

Everyone gets got every now and then, both men and women. You won't be the first, you won't be the last. But you can work to lessen the liklihood that is happens again.👍

[Asker]

Very true! I tried to re add him back but because he didn’t accept after a couple of hours I just decided to block him. Thought to myself I’m not going to beg a man I didn’t even beg when he told me he’s going to remove me I just said ok some shit you don’t make sense anyways and I called him a liar too.

He’s like I told you the truth how am I lying and then asking me do I know how arrange marriages work I said no cos I make own decisions does he know how that works. And then he was like wtf then a couple of hours later he messages saving I’m going to have to remove you so I left it be

Now what do you think

[Asker]

Update turns out he was married lmao

[Pterodon]

You were used. I think his future arranged wife should know this

[Asker]

I know and you know what it really hurts because why would someone use someone and go about life like that it’s weird

I don’t even know who she is LOL

[Zionne]

guuurl he's not just into you, leave

[jahaims]

Don't be a slut and this wouldn't happen

[butterly248]

He used u, sorry

[Asker]

Yeah definitely that’s exactly what I’m thinking too but it hurts to accept

[Asker]

Because how can someone do that to someone it’s weird

[butterly248]

It's happened to me many times and I've done it. He wanted to experience s*x as a free man one last time

[Asker]

True maybe but the way this has affected me emotionally and mentally it’s not fair to treat someone like that

[butterly248]

No it is not and I'm so sorry. U will get past this. Don't let this man define u like this

[Asker]

Thank you and I hope so 😫😞

[butterly248]

U will, it will take some time but be strong 💜

[Asker]

Do you think I should feel embarassed tho and stupid because he switched up that fast

[butterly248]

No ur human. Think of this as a lesson

[Asker]

Thank you

[Asker]

Update turns out he was married lmao