Whats the point of being in a relationship if there's always gonna be someone better and prettier?

[Anonymous]

[Summeroflove]

Well this is a very good question…. That’s where building a bond, compatibility, and genuinely falling in love with someone is important.

If someone picks you because you’re the best they can find, best house in a bad neighborhood. Yeah… You’re probably going to be dumped eventually, probably will be cheated on, and will probably get your heart broken. Point blank…. That’s why you never want to be someone’s backup and you don’t even want to be someone’s primary if they have backups. It shows they’re more desperate for a relationship…. Then genuinely wanting to be with you.

You also have to realize people who pick partners based on desperation, superficiality, and materialistic reasons… Whats going to happen is even if you check all the boxes. They will never be happy even if you’re God’s gift to men or women…. They will never be happy or satisfied. That’s how they are…

Building that bond takes time… If someone’s the extreme of either taking too slow or moving too fast. It’s a sign…. It’s not genuine. Rushing a relationship before you even really know one another is one red flag. They have probably created a fantasy of you in their heads… and are probably projecting a fantasy of themselves onto you. Both of you will be disappointed in the end….

As well as taking too long…. You been dating for 6 months you know one another pretty well now…. But they just aren’t sure. Yeah…. Sure they aren’t. You’re a backup…. Especially when all the sudden they’re seeing someone new…. And they’re in a relationship after three dates. So one extreme or another. Red flags.

[Asker]

so how do i prevent that?

[Summeroflove]

I think taking time. Not rushing relationships or allowing yourself to be rushed. Getting to know a person before you build a fantasy in your head and they build a fantasy in theirs.

[Summeroflove]

I think…. If you can have deep conversations that aren’t superficial. The whole relationship isn’t just based on sex…

Things like that. Do you genuinely enjoy spending time together?

[Asker]

people do that all the time and it still happens

[Gobbyjobby52]

Because life is full of people better and prettier than us in general - this creates hierarchy and competition in places, and when we can romantically commune with a person we learn to appreciate their essence, character, their flaws and virtues even the best of people like celebrities are known for being involved in scandals and losing it all, the bigger the blimp the worst the fallout. I really don't mean to patronise you and i apologise if this comes off as a bit rude but to put it bluntly (this is going to be harsh) chasing the highs nearly always leads to crashes as it dopamine driven but if you chase serotonin and oxytocin (long term happiness, calm and bonding) it's sustainable and still gives a person back the feeling they belong and matter to someone which cheating, constantly chasing and infidelity sort of defaces.

Looks also can fade especially when not all pretty people you see were naturally this way, got botched or become entitled and spoilt inside from the constant positive feedback. I'd bet most men past 30 and most women past 20 don't want this just for the best superficially. That's not to say you shouldn't have some standards but that alone shouldn't become the extending foundation for all people you want in that way.

[DishLady]

It's not about being "better" or "prettier" -- "Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove... it is an ever-fixed mark." Go look it up, kiddo, and have ChatGPT explain the significance to you.

[Nikki1989]

That idea only makes sense if love were a competition based on looks or perfection. Real relationships don’t work that way.

[blackgaletiger]

If you date for companionship and for the one that completes your flaws and makes you a better person then the idea of better doesn’t get any better. Dating shouldn’t be a competition on looks. We all age. What a person looks like now does resemble what will remain years down the road. Its hard to determine who is “better” in the long run as well. If a person has achieved the bases you are looking for in a relationship now then why mess that up. People overlook the reasons of a relationship over the ideas of a relationship which makes it pointless

[Asker]

everybody’s the same, who cares about what they make me feel?
men find new girls all the time

[sawno]

Its more than the initial qualities. I had a similar thing in the past and the trick is that you build something nobody else can get close to. So not only do you start a relationship with the type of person you love, the past experiences, the bond and just growing together makes that person better than anyone else who could come across, at least for me. And if I feel like there is a decent chance someone comes around that would be better than her and tempt me to leave then I don't start a relationship to begin with. Because the last thing I want to do is risk that happening. It makes me picky with my partners, but those who have me truly have me.

[Asker]

People fall inlove with other people all the time and build up something new everytime.

[sawno]

Of course, because what you build can also fall apart which then leaves the opportunity for you to try it again with someone else. So that will happen, especially at your age relationships don't last that long usually. But when you do achieve that true compatibility and oneness its really rewarding.

[Asker]

How is it rewarding? and how can we be sure it won't fall apart and have to start all over again?

[sawno]

You can't be sure unfortunately. But imagine a best friend, partner who tries to help you, an immense bond and love you feel for each other, romance, sex, listening ear, someone who truly cares about you and more all in one.

[Asker]

isn't that just setting urself up for failure and heartbreak?

[sawno]

Not if it works. But even though my last relationship failed due to reasons beyond our control the heartbreak was worth it. Those were some of the best moments of my life.

[Asker]

there's just as high chance that it won't work tho

[Purpleronnie]

It isn’t about pretty / handsome or what a person has or may have in the future. It isn’t about her perfect figure or his toned body and perfectly chiseled jawline.


It’s about connection !!


You don’t fall in love with the pretty / handsome you fall in love with a person for how they make you feel when your being your true self


It’s about a person constantly choosing you because they want to and you reciprocating


YES , you may loose a partner , to another or to death , everyone accepts that but it doesn’t mean you don’t try to have that connection as forever is TEMPORARY!!!

[Berethor]

Just because there is someone better not means that you can get him, also loyalty.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Always_Someone_Better

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Undying_Loyalty

[Asker]

but if i CAN get him

[Berethor]

I don't think that you can, it just fantasy, but I already answered that, having loyalty.

[Asker]

why not?
whats ur point with the pic?

[Berethor]

If you could you would not be lonely. The pic shows how male and female minds works.

[Asker]

Dude what? im not lonely and im under 18 bro.
Well why would we go for bad men if we want good men? tf?

[Berethor]

Because it make sense for low value women to be with low value men.

[Asker]

yet you try to go for high value women? and tell me what defines a ”high value” person please.

[slatyb]

That goes both ways. We enter relationships because we don't want to be alone. It's just a question of how long you are willing to wait, and also who you can reasonably hope to attract. Also for a life companion, there are things far more important than appearance. I'm in love with any woman who can make me laugh.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because most people don’t date the prettiest or best person who is alive. They date someone they feel an attraction towards and are matched with.


It’s like asking why would someone ever buy a car. They find a new car on the lot and its let best. But a month later they drive by and see a better car on the lot. Do they ever buy the new car and try to trade in their current one?

[Anonymous]

🤔😆😆

If you're serious about this then you're problems are deeper than just dating. You need to scrap everything and start over.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/AWdOvD74J_o

[Asker]

what?

[Opinion Owner]

Just what I said. If that's all there is to relationships, just physical attraction. Then you have very shallow and sad view of relationships. Is that how you think of guys? That there's always going to be a prettier guy? Because if that's the case I could see why no guy would want to date you. Who would want to be thought of like that. Like that's all they bring to a relationship.

[Asker]

everybodys personality is the same anyways

[DryGermanGuy]

https://youtu.be/sGNK-cOtxSs?si=_XJ4SjguHT4Efvm0

[zagor]

That makes no sense. You look for someone who is right for you, not the best-looking, richest, funnest person possible. If you just want the best-looking person you can get, there are some very attractive prostitutes.

[ibduved]

Safety and the feeling of being loved by someone. And if you don't look for someone else, then there ain't anyone better or prettier than your partner.

[Asker]

safety from who? dont u have parents or friends? there always is tho, wether im looking or not

[ibduved]

Safety in a future together with someone. Not everyone have parents that loves them, but being loved by someone else than your family is a completely different feeling tbh. Nobody else should matter if you decide to not be looking, then you won't notice after a while. But is this more of an insecurity thing and being scared of the person you're with would be looking for someone else, or is it more that you feel one person wouldn't be enough for you? I have a friend that actively don't want a relationship because she isn't satisfied with only being with one person. Asking out of curiosity and no judgement 😊

[Asker]

probably the insecurity one, like just imagine you’re with a person for years and one day they just get with a younger person because they were more attractive, i honestly dont think id survive that kinda heartbreak thats just cruel

[ibduved]

I don't have to imagine, I have experienced it getting dumped for someone more attractive and it sucks tbh, but I got through it, but it also helped that he were a complete tool and cheated on her multiple times (I was told by mutual friends). Younger and prettier doesn't always mean better, and that's worth remembering if you ever find yourself in that situation 😊 If you ever decide to enter a relationship, just be yourself and be present, that usually helps your partner not looking elsewhere 😊 and it's natural to look at other people when walking down the street, but it's not normal to act on it, and that's the key to a good relationship 😊

[Asker]

yeah exactly, so why would i risk that when i can just have a peaceful life?

[ibduved]

I understand why you might be hesitant to go into something that could fail, but you might never know what you could be missing out on, but again if you're happy with your choice, then you do you girl 💪 Only you can decide it and only you should 😊 you're decisions is not that uncommon as you might think 😊

[Anonymous]

What's the point of men dating if there's always someone better, richer, or taller? Same concept.

[Asker]

yeah? my question was ab both men and women by the way

[TonyMetal___86]

When you truly love a person, you won't care about others anymore whether they are worst or better, you're just satisfied with what you already have...

[Mike_Hum]

lol Because the person you're dating isn't the best or handsomest either.

[Asker]

so why would u date them?

[Mike_Hum]

Because you like them.

[Asker]

well there's someone better out there, so why would i?

[Mike_Hum]

then stay single and miserable no worries on my part.

[Asker]

single doesn't mean miserable?

[Anonymous]

Why does this 15 year old girl keep asking these same questions? And then she complains when men talk to her.

[Asker]

”anonymous”

[In_Trance]

There's not