Whats the point of being with someone if there's always going to be a prettier guy/girl?

[chocolatetwopointo]

[Summeroflove]

That’s the thing is that you should genuinely love somebody. Superficial relationships guess what? Don’t work out more times then not. Because you’re right someone better will come along and he or she will either run off with someone worse yet cheat. Especially because once this perfect picture someone has in their head of someone once you get to know them isn’t the case.

It’s why relationships should be built on a genuine connection with one another. Being one another’s best friend and genuinely finding someone you love that you can spend the rest of your life with even into old age where beauty fades.

People who choose someone only because of looks like okay just getting to know someone you can say someone is attractive. But genuinely see if they’re a good fit and build that genuine connection. Like I said superficial relationships don’t last because they’ll get bored and find someone else.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Well, that's because you're looking at it in a very special way. You're looking at beauty as if beauty was a product to acquire, so you logically want to acquire the best product possible. But, when you drop that point of view, you see a life you had never seen before, a life not about products, a life about connecting with someone, bonding. But to understand the extent here, you need to live it, to feel it. Because it's not an idea, it's an experience.

[chocolatetwopointo]

basically everyone is the same or end up being the same, so looks matter even more

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

As I said, as long as you're in the idea and not in the experience, you can only miss the point.

[chocolatetwopointo]

okay u do u, but yk damn well you’d chose an attractive girl over a mid one

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

so many people you will talk to will tell you that, yes, the most "attractive" doesn't matter, because subjective attraction destroys objective attraction. Like completely smashes it to death. With no possibility for objectivity to recover after such a bow delivered lol

[chocolatetwopointo]

yet people cheat

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

That's entirely another topic, at 19yo, you're still at the beginning of everything, but things will unfold on their way

[chocolatetwopointo]

so? whats ur point

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Life 🤷‍♀️

[chocolatetwopointo]

and?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Yes!

[chocolatetwopointo]

wdym yes? answer

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Back off chocolate, I'm off to more interesting skies ✈️

[GlitteringWorld]

It all depends on what you're looking for. If you're after a trophy girlfriend or boyfriend, you’ll probably focus on finding someone who looks better. But if your priority is to find a compatible partner with emotional understanding, love, respect, and values like those in a traditional relationship, then you won’t base everything on appearance alone. I won't deny that looks do matter, but they shouldn't be the sole priority in any relationship.

[FreyaRed]

Because optic of a purse doesn't say much about durability and usefulness. If you're just decoration for someones ego and your partner dumps you because there is someone better looking interested in him/her, you shouldn't really cry, because you lost nothing.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you have had some experience with a long term relationship, you will know that love is not just a variety of lust. Yes, there are millions of women prettier than my wife, but I don't love them, they aren't waiting for me when I come home, and I don't go to sleep with them. I don't make weekend plans with them, and I don't plan vacations with them. I WANT to do these things with my wife because I love her, and it is not based solely on physical attraction.

[ohsheeT]

Yeah that really does suck that that's the way that it has become you can fall in love with somebody tell them how much you love them do everything in the world for them but there's some sweet talking girl or guy comes along and damn there it goes..

I mean it's more or less than that way forever but it's just a little bit more out in the open

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah

[ohsheeT]

But that's when you make a choice I knew you want to be in life and who you want to be with.

I mean life would be pretty miserable if everything we have is throw away if it's broken get a new one I'm not like that I need to fix the one that I have because I'll need it again if we're talking about material objects that's the best part about love. Is experiencing it together and making it work and if for some reason you can't make it work you don't yell and scream you said I love you and we need to move on

[chocolatetwopointo]

yet people cheat

[ohsheeT]

But if you think about it in the long run all they did is cheat themselves

[chocolatetwopointo]

wdym?

[ohsheeT]

I don't know I think what I mean is basically when you commit to somebody you commit to them if you aren't getting along then you separate you go your own ways

But most people are too afraid to be alone so they go ahead and lie to their partner like nothing is happening while they're doing their other partner or their other friend on the side

Then they eventually get caught and everybody breaks up anyway

So why not just break up in the first place and then go out with whoever you want to instead of staying with the person you don't want to be with but going with the person that is new just because you don't want to lose either can't be that lonely. .. .

To be honest with you I think that our world is changing women are getting smarter men or getting smarter and they would rather just go out have fun go home alone
Just have a good friend that you can just go see once in awhile and there's always going to be somebody pretty but that doesn't really matter how pretty they are what matters is who they are on the inside anyway

[ohsheeT]

All they did is cheat themselves yeah because when you are with somebody and you find somebody prettier so you cheat and then you end up losing both of them when you get caught so you end up cheating yourself out of everything I guess

[Avicenna]

Because looks aren’t everything, especially if they belong to someone you are no longer with or can‘t date.

[chocolatetwopointo]

looks is everything tho

[Avicenna]

To some people, yeah. But looks don't help maintain a relationship.

[chocolatetwopointo]

anyone would rather b with an attractive person than an unattractive one

[OlderAndWiser]

Kid, I'm gonna put it to you simple: for every hot chick walking down the street, there's a guy somewhere who got tired of fucking her. Truth! Think about it.

[chocolatetwopointo]

no? wtf?

[Avicenna]

LMAO- let him live and learn

[chocolatetwopointo]

who are you referring to?

[Avicenna]

You!

[OlderAndWiser]

@Avicenna. He is a she.

[Avicenna]

@OlderAndWiserThen she‘ll learn the hard way….

[Account]

There is no point in anything, but that does not stop people from doing shit.

[morganherrel]

The obvious response is that there are other attributes besides looks that matter. However, this fails to address the essential problem: what's the point of committing to a person with a particular combination of desirable traits if there is always going to be someone out there with an even more desirable combination of traits?

The obvious response is that you can't realistically attract the "best" person. The person you're with is the "best you can do," as if it were a compromise. In other words, trying to do any better means you risk being alone or with a worse partner.

But this fails to address the dimension of a relationship that's not transactional... Mutual commitment between people cultivates a uniquely strong bond. Even if your partner isn't your "theoretical #1" on day 1, they can become your #1 by day 600 (or not, if they're ultimately the wrong fit). You just have to invest a little (:

[chocolatetwopointo]

i meant in a crush way, like you’d prob have a crush on the prettier person

[morganherrel]

._. so you have a crush on a boy... then an objectively prettier boy walks along and you just... no longer have crush on him? you crush on the new guy instead?

[chocolatetwopointo]

nah i still have a crush on him but id rather b with the prettier one, basically everyone has the same personality anyways

[morganherrel]

ok I think personality varies more than you realize though; maybe you haven't met enough people

[chocolatetwopointo]

nope basically everyones the same

[BetaBucks]

Because looks shouldn't be the sole reason for a relationship. It should be a prerequisite to everything else. I would never consider a relationship with a girl I'm not fully attracted to, but being attracted sure as hell is not going to keep me in a relationship.

If looks are the only thing ever that matters, then definitely don't get into relationships. Stay single and whore around. Until you can't get attractive guys anymore, because you're old and they want young chicks, so you then find a weak man you're barely attracted to, to be your plow horse into your golden years.

[chocolatetwopointo]

ok so you’d rather date a mid looking girl over a gorgeous girl even tho they had the same personality?

[BetaBucks]

I wouldn't be fully attracted to a mid girl, so why would I date her?

[morganherrel]

gorgeous girl with good personality is out of reach for almost all guys in today's dating market, so a pragmatic guy will take what he can get (:
heck, I'm even willing to date someone I'm not attracted to because sex isn't even that important

[chocolatetwopointo]

no its not, as long as a girl is kind and smart she has a good personality

[morganherrel]

you're only 19
once you're in your 20s, you'll be competing with women who have gained weight or stopped taking good care of themselves—the average guy will have no chance of being with you

[chocolatetwopointo]

if anything thats when girls r in their prime, and im prob the middest looking girl so im not even gna try

[morganherrel]

I don't know where you live, but that's definitely not true in the U. S. outside of elite areas.

[chocolatetwopointo]

it is tho

[morganherrel]

The sad truth is that most 22+ girls are fat

[chocolatetwopointo]

id love to see ur source for that cuz i rarely ever see any overweight girl under the age of 35

[morganherrel]

you can be fat and not overweight

[BetaBucks]

This seems crazy, but I just looked up stats on NIH and it says that 39.7 of women (20-39) in the US are obese. I really hope this is a typo.

[BetaBucks]

Percent*

[morganherrel]

That's not a typo. And that's only for OBESE. It doesn't include overweight or even just fat or slightly pudgy. Girls who are slim—a norm in some cultures—are scarce in the U. S. Whereas men are expected to be fit and competent in the gym just to deserve a fat girl (:

[BetaBucks]

Bro, our population is doomed...

[morganherrel]

LOL fr

[verified]

Why bother getting a job if someone will always make more money than you? Because sometimes things are good enough for us, even if other people have it better.

When you have a crush on someone, are you constantly comparing them to more attractive people? When you like someone, do you sit around and think about their flaws? Because when we have emotions for one other person, the rest of the world doesn't matter. It isn't about finding someone who is absolutely perfect, it's about finding someone who is right for us.

[chocolatetwopointo]

honestly yes i do, well u need to work to survive

[verified]

You just have a poor mindset lol

[chocolatetwopointo]

how exactly

[verified]

Because my last sentence is facts

[chocolatetwopointo]

okay so, if u had a crush on a mid looking girl, and a gorgeous girl yk walked by, do u still think you’d have feelings for the mid looking girl?

[verified]

yes? Why would I randomly have feelings for some random attractive person lol

[chocolatetwopointo]

why wouldn't u? bc she's prettier, men care a lot about womens looks

[verified]

Yeah, but if their a shitty person who makes me miserable, why would I care if she's attractive

[chocolatetwopointo]

and if she's nice?

[verified]

Yeah, so what? lol, I already have a girlfriend...

[chocolatetwopointo]

okay so if u had two crushes, one mid looking girl, and one gorgeous girl. and both had basically the same personalities what would u do?

[verified]

bro what kind of question is that

[chocolatetwopointo]

has that never happened to u or what?

[verified]

Liking 2 people simultaneously? Nah, if I like a person that's all I'm set on

[chocolatetwopointo]

uhm ok, but can u answer the question?

[verified]

That question is like asking if I'd rather win 500k or 750k. Obviously, everyone would choose the more attractive person

[chocolatetwopointo]

exactly, thats what im saying. so if everyone wants the more attractive girl, nobody will want the mid looking ones

[verified]

You're missing the whole point

[chocolatetwopointo]

explain then

[verified]

I already did but you're so far down your own rabbithole here

[chocolatetwopointo]

then clearly u didn't, yk you’d chose the prettier girl if they had the same personality

[morganherrel]

that sounds like a mental health problem or personality disorder waiting to happen...

[chocolatetwopointo]

what?

[Billlewis]

Don't believe that you can't be successful in your personal life, just because there's someone out there who is a smidgeon more attractive than you (which is subjective anyway). Just remember one of the main rules for success -- nice girls, like nice guys, almost always finish last.

[chocolatetwopointo]

why’s that?

[Billlewis]

Because of basic human psychology. People always want what they can't have. I just started following you, and you're welcome to follow or message me as well if you'd like to discuss this further.

[chocolatetwopointo]

sure why not

[Billlewis]

Thanks very much; your move.

[chocolatetwopointo]

okay

[Billlewis]

Alright, just thought I'd offer.

[chocolatetwopointo]

so if you were to have a crush on a mid looking girl and then a gorgeous girl comes into ur life, both have basically the same personalities, you’d prolly pick the gorgeous one

[Lynx122]

What's the point of doing anything then if someone else can be better at it? I think that's not a very good way to approach life. Our best qualities we take them for granted because that's just who we are so only other people can truly appreciate them. So giving up just because you don't see yourself as special is a bad idea.

[John_Cobretti]

That's a terrible negative mindset

There will always be someone better at almost literally everything you do , should we just stop trying anything at all?

Also for most people physical attractiveness is just one of the criteria with which they evaluate a potential partner, it's not all that matters

[chocolatetwopointo]

i mean am i wrong? you’d chose a prettier girl over ur girlfriend any day

[John_Cobretti]

Nope lol, who does that? Not everyone would just drop their partner and run behind a person who looks better

[chocolatetwopointo]

isn't that kinda what ruins most relationships?💀

[John_Cobretti]

LoL kind of true, but "Why have a relationship when there's a chance of infidelity" is like "Why drive when there's a chance of accident" ...

[chocolatetwopointo]

well u can usually prevent a crash not cheating

[Mehrsia]

There are more into a relationship than only looks. People are unique in their own way and very different. If one wants to have fun with different people then entering a relationship is not an option, but many likes to have stable relationship with a reliable person.

[chocolatetwopointo]

basically everyone is the same anyways

[Mehrsia]

Phisiologicallg, you are correct.

[Iron_Man]

Because you have deep feelings for your wife and at that point, you don’t care if another girl comes along that’s prettier because they might have a bad character and if you really love your wife, nobody’s prettier than her

[chocolatetwopointo]

yet people cheat

[Iron_Man]

Those are bad people not serious

[chocolatetwopointo]

a lot of people cheat tho, and how r u supposted to know they won't?

[Iron_Man]

You don’t know, but hopefully you meet the right person where you trust them

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah no, im fine thanks ill stay single and happy

[Iron_Man]

Suit yourself 🥲

[chocolatetwopointo]

yup👍

[Iron_Man]

Poor guys of the world won’t have you as a wife it’s a shame

[chocolatetwopointo]

ew wasn't planning on getting married anyways

[Iron_Man]

Ok well 😙

[chocolatetwopointo]

yup😃

[Iron_Man]

Wrong Emoji

[Nikki1989]

You will never get anywhere in life with a negative mindset like that.

[chocolatetwopointo]

wdym

[AmazonChick171]

Right! It always sucks. Like it some is better looking than you and then you get so jealous.

[Lowiu]

You dont only date people for their looks or do you?

[chocolatetwopointo]

50/50

[Lowiu]

Thats a high importance for looks

[chocolatetwopointo]

well how am i supposted to b with someone if im not attracted to them? and everyones basically the same so who cares

[slatyb]

So only the most beautiful people in the world should have partners? We choose people who are available because the alternative is having no one.

[chocolatetwopointo]

date on ur own level

[slatyb]

That's what people do.

[chocolatetwopointo]

okay then whats the problem?

[slatyb]

You asked the question.

[chocolatetwopointo]

and u asked a stupid follow up question?

[SugarSugarplum]

So you'd only - ONLY be with the MOST handsome guy? the ONE most handsome man in the WORLD?

[chocolatetwopointo]

if he’s up to my standards

[chocolatetwopointo]

but i dont date soo

[RubyFrench]

You shouldn't be basing things on looks but rather somebody's personality and values

[chocolatetwopointo]

im not gna b with someone im not attracted to

[RubyFrench]

I wasn't attracted my husband at first when we were younger (i fell inlove with HIM after years of friend zoning him, looks FADE, best decision i ever made.

You will grow up eventually and see what i mean.

[Hsisjwbwbjsjd]

Because that's not that important. It's a lot more important that you enjoy each others company.

[chocolatetwopointo]

ok so if 2 girls that had the same personality, one was mid looking and the other was gorgeous, you’d obvi pick the gorgeous one

[Hsisjwbwbjsjd]

When you find someone you enjoy spending time with, you're not gonna want to keep looking for a better fit. You're also hopefully gonna be growing together and improving your personalities.
The hipothetical of having two identical people at the same time is probably not going to happen.

[chocolatetwopointo]

basically everyones personalities is the same so who cares ab that

[purplepoppy]

You don't jump in a ferrari until you've crashed a few fiats

[LiamJHayden]

There is no point if that is the focus of either partner. If instead the person is seeking peace and adoration, such superficialities become secondary or tertiary, at best.

[paledreams]

Wandering eyes 👀😲 ruins all hahaha , not me though I'm single bliss 😁

[jahaims]

You have zero understanding of how a healthy relationship operates if you think that

[chocolatetwopointo]

whys that

[KostasKouvalis]

Because there are other important factors besides looks

[MrGSpotHer]

Well it don't matter to some people, it don't to me I just want someone who don't mind me being weird and stuffs 👽

[Anonymous]

If you don't know the answer to this question then you're not ready to be with anyone.

[chocolatetwopointo]

good, i dont wanna be with anyone anyways

[Opinion Owner]

Just as well then.👍

[chocolatetwopointo]

so do yk the answer?

[Opinion Owner]

There is no point. If you're looking at other people then you really don't want to be with that person.

[chocolatetwopointo]

well you’ll always see other people unless you’ll stay inside all ur life

[Opinion Owner]

Not when you love someone. I mean they may be there but the volume on them gets turned way down, so to speak. Because you're not looking at them as potential partners anymore. Again, if you've never experienced this I wouldn't expect you to understand.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yet people cheat

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, people who do not love eachother.

[chocolatetwopointo]

so u can never truly know when someone loves u?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I've never been able to know for sure. Somethings you just have to do your best research but at the end of the day it comes down to a leap of faith.

[EnjoytheDay777]

Because you connect emotionally and you love what's special about them.

[Guacamole409]

You answered your ow

[Guacamole409]

own question.

[chocolatetwopointo]

wdym?

[Guacamole409]

Your guy is out there. If you're here looking for permission to give up, you'll probably get it on this site, but just not from me.
miro.medium.com/.../1*MF2jrkz7iQMcYJsPW-Zj-A.jpeg

[chocolatetwopointo]

huh?

[MicahRaine]

Because it's not all about looks?

[chocolatetwopointo]

if 2 girls had the same personality but one was mid looking and one was gorgeous, you’d obviously pick the gorgeous one

[MicahRaine]

Not if I was already with the "mid" one.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yh bet, but if u were single you’d chose the gorgeous one

[MicahRaine]

No, I'd just choose who I enjoy more as a person.

I can honestly say that I've chosen the less pretty girl multiple times.

[chocolatetwopointo]

i really doubt that

[MicahRaine]

Okay 😂

You are entitled to your own opinion.

[DrPepper12]

Looks fade. Chemistry doesn't.

[beefcakebradybatson]

You love and respect your partner.

[chocolatetwopointo]

whats ur point

[beefcakebradybatson]

Regardless of others' greater beauty, he or she is the one for you.

[chocolatetwopointo]

and how would anyone know that?

[Maybeyoutoo]

Lust is a sin, that's why we need to get married

[chocolatetwopointo]

yet people cheat

[Maybeyoutoo]

God will punish sinners with hell
Revelation 21:8
8 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

[chocolatetwopointo]

christians have cheated too yk..

[Maybeyoutoo]

Are you a Christian?

[chocolatetwopointo]

nope

[Maybeyoutoo]

So what is your religion?

[chocolatetwopointo]

im athiest

[Maybeyoutoo]

Really? Before you became an atheist, were you a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc?

[chocolatetwopointo]

no? I've always been atheist

[Alexandria84]

Maybe cause I’m competitive.

[Anonymous]

they r hot enough

[chocolatetwopointo]

there's always gna b someone hotter tho