Was he interested or not interested since he didn’t ask for my number?

[bobalife]

I went to the coffeeshop this evening. I was supposed to meet my friend, but she last min wasn’t able to make it anymore. I accidentally sat next to a cute guy and we talked throughout the whole time. He’s a full time student and working. He was on his iPad working on his homework. Later his iPad was about to die. He literally went around the coffeeshop asking if anyone has a charger. I wasn’t sure if he did that to stay with me longer because he could’ve just went home and charged it lol. He also made sure I knew he still enjoy talking to me and not ignoring me as he continue to work on homework. In his own words, he “wouldn’t continue talking to me if he didn’t want to or enjoy it.” I was quite shy, surprise, and flustered, so I didn’t say anything to it nor did I prompt him to reassured me. At the end, he told me he has work at 6AM tomorrow (which I knew) and now exhausted. So he’s gonna head home. He told me it was great meeting me and smiled at me. I told him the same thing. I waited for a couple secs and assumed he would asked for my number. But he didn’t… for some reason I hesitated and felt rejected already before asking to exchange contact… he left fairly quickly afterwards. I wasn’t sure if he was too exhausted in survivor mode or I didn’t show enough interest… or maybe he wasn’t interested after all? It was quite disappointing after having such a long talk getting to know each other at the coffeeshop. I also stayed longer because I enjoyed it too.

[FunkyMonkee]

Sounds similar to what happened to me back in Aug. `91.
My guitarist's girlfriend had been hounding me for weeks to play drums with some friends of hers from New Orleans, an improvisational jazz rock band that didn't have a drummer, they'd just pick one up wherever they were playing. I didn't want to do it at all but, eventually, relented and played the gig. They hated me and said I was playing too loud, even when I was using brushes and barely touching the drums!!
We were done by about 10:00 but we couldn't leave until the 2nd band was done playing because nobody got paid until the show was over.
So, I sat near the front window for 2 hours waiting for these guys to get paid (I didn't) and they could take me back home.
Just before the 2nd band played, a lot of people showed up to see them! Two of them were standing right in front of me! I didn't care because I hated that band and wasn't paying any attention to them. One of these two women that were in front of me decided to sit at my table and talk with me!! The other sat with her and kinda joined in the conversation. Obviously, we kinda liked each other and she was partly trying to keep the other girl from getting into her pants!! She wasn't gay but the other girl was and this was her date that I sort of butted into!
We had a nice long chat and, at midnight, it was time for me to go so, we waved goodbye to each other through the front window thinking we'd never see each other, again. Obviously, we never exchanged numbers, either! Partly because she told me that she was married so, I just never bothered and she never asked.
A week or two later, I was downtown handing in my application at a drug store and, just before I went in, some woman said, "It's you!!". I turned around to see who she was referring to and it was ME!! This was broad daylight and I'd only ever seen her under the blacklights of that venue so, I had no idea who this was but figured, she obviously wants to talk to me! So, I rushed in, dropped off the app and left because she was at a bus stop and I didn't wanna miss my chance to see what it was about! She told me who she was and we stood there talking for quite a while and I'm sure she let a few of her buses go by so we could talk!
Well, my fave subject came up, records and music, and the more I told her about music, the more excited she got! Then, she invited me to her place so we could get a pizza and so she could take loads of notes about all the music I was telling her about!! Being from India, she'd never heard of most of this stuff!!
By the end of the night, she gave me her phone number and invited me back for another session. After 2 more we started becoming lovers!! Turns out, she WAS legally married but, as her hubby got a sex change a few years before, she no longer considered herself to be married! So, we fell in love and spent the next 10 years together until she started cheating on me!!
Anyway, the point is, you just might bump into him, again, especially if you keep going to the same place around the same time and if you do, ASK FOR HIS NUMBER!! Or, at least offer yours!
I was just telling someone else here last night that there's been several accidental meet-ups in my life that at least started out to be something great!!
Do you know his name? Maybe you can look him up, somehow, and get his contact info.
As for my present girlfriend, we met here at GAG just over a year ago. I posted a response to a question, she posted one to what I said, we started chatting and fell in love not long after.

[bobalife]

Awww what a beautiful love story (both)!!! 😭❤️‍🩹❤️ but she definitely did not deserve you for cheating on you at the end. I’m happy you found love again and how beautiful it’s on here! Hehe. I wished you nothing but happiness!!!

And ty for passing on your hopes for me🥹🥹🥹 but I don't know, same question as my post… do you think he was interested or no?

[bobalife]

The funny coincidence is that we met at my fave coffeeshop lol. But I just haven’t been there as much as I used to because I’m so busy and exhausted most of the time lol.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, I know! We were both working at the same place and they closed down and, because it took me a while to find a new job, she started seeing someone that had a lot of money!! She broke up with him a year later over something REALLY stupid!! I think he hit a cat with his car!
Thank you, again!! I wish YOU nothing but happiness, too!! Love IS out there, sometimes you just need to know which rock to look under!!
It's kinda like this.
https://youtu.be/oL3-rvaAOz8?si=I3J8CmdxfiVjLFco
Yeah, I think he was interested! Give him another shot!

[FunkyMonkee]

I don't know why "seeing someone" turned into a link!

[bobalife]

She really missed out on such a loving husband and has poor judgment. But I am so glad you found someone better for you!!! ❤️ I don’t believe cheating is ever okay.

And thank you so much, this is very uplifting 😭😭😭❤️‍🩹

[FunkyMonkee]

I agree!! so I had no money for a while, after 10 years together, she SHOULD'VE KNOWN that she had a great guy!! (Not to blow my own horn!! But, if I could reach, I'd probably never leave the house!)
I've never cheated and never will!! One woman is enough for me!!
Great! I'm glad it helped!!

[bobalife]

You should blow your own horn, you seem like such a committed partner and good person!!! Lmao. I’m glad you knew what you bring to the table and she didn’t know how to appreciate what she had. Her loss!

I’d be happy to be friends with good people on here such as you 🥹

[FunkyMonkee]

Exactly!! Her loss, my gain!! I found someone much better!!! As far as I know, she has no one, now and teaches Indian philosophy in a Denmark University.
Thank you, again!! I'm always open for new friendships! I'm CERTAINLY NOT over-run with them and have rarely ever had any in my life!! My best friend just died a month ago so, I have no one to visit me, anymore. That's why I spend so much time here!! At least I get to talk to SOMEBODY!!

[bobalife]

It’s okay, let’s focus on your current partner ☺️ what do you like about her?

Aws… I’m so sorry to hear about your loss… 😔😔😔 how are you doing about it? And I’m happy to hear you’re open to wanting to be friends. I sent you a friend request ☺️

[FunkyMonkee]

She's a very sweet and loving girl, a great sense of humour, non-stop love for me, we think alike and get on GREAT together!!
Thanks! It was not very nice, either. His wife died in early Nov. and a month later, he slipped on some slow, fell on his right foot and broke it in 3 places and 3 weeks later, they found him face down in bed with a massive brain bleed!! After 2 days in the hospital, it was decided to pull the plug! Almost the exact same thing happened to my aunt exactly 6 years ago to the day!! She was even rushed to the same hospital!! With her, it was sepsis that she got from a bladder infection.
Oh! I haven't seen it, yet but, I fell asleep for half an hour (I never went to bed last night so, I've got the Chinese disease: dragon ass!!) I SHOULD go to bed as soon as I eat something!

[bobalife]

She sounds lovely and perfect for you 🥰 I’m fan girling ur love and love story! Lmao. You can tell her I said that too hahaha

And oh, omgosh, I am so so sorry to hear this…. That’s awful and very sad to hear… 😟😟😟 sending you my condolences… you are still young too… let me know if you need anything during this time, friend!!! I have send you new friend request :)

[FunkyMonkee]

We'll be over in a bit to sign autographs.
I noticed that it said, "request sent" next to your name last night but I have no idea what to do with that. I've never seen that before so, best I could do was go to your page and follow you.
Aside from someone that can get my hip (s) to stop bugging me, and the kitchen stove fixed, about the only thing I'd need right now is a big load of money to keep from losing my house, again. My stupid aunt mortgaged the house right before she died to give her scammer buddies more money she didn't have and now I'M stuck having to pay it back before the bank takes the house and kicks me to the street, again!!
Also, a keyboard that actually types what I want it to type would be great!! I'm SO SICK of having to go over everything I write and correct all the mistakes!! (It doesn't type certain letters I want typed and it DOES type letters I never touched, it gives me double letters when I only want one but refuses to give me doubles when I DO want them!! Sometimes, it skips entire words!! And the shift keys ALMOST NEVER work!!!) I NEVER have this kind of trouble on any of my laptops!!!

[Still-alive]

im gonna say its possible. he may like you and is also a bit shy about taking that extra step of asking you out for fear of you rejecting him. i dunno if its possible to see him again but if you can maybe try again?

[bobalife]

Awww thank you… I hope you’re right… hopefully you’re not sugarcoating it for me 😭🤣 but I’ll try to come back to the same spot, time, and day if I’m free. Or I’ll just look back to appreciate this moment.

[Still-alive]

yeah to me it doesn't sound like a clear rejection. so next time if he doesn't ask maybe you can? unless you're the type who expects the man to do it. at the very least you would know for sure.

It might be a me thing but unless i hear a clear 'no' (or their body language as we are talking is suggesting 'no' at the very least) to going out or proceeding further then i wasn't rejected lol.

[bobalife]

I do prefer a man to lead, but I’m typically fine asking to change contact too. I just got scare for a second…. I do regret it… it’s a slim chance I’ll ever run into him lol. I’m sure someday a lucky woman will get with him..

[Still-alive]

i mean there's still a chance you'll see him again. never know lol.

[bobalife]

Thanks for being positive and hopeful for me, I appreciate you🥹

[bobalife]

Have you ever experience a moment like I did and end up seeing the girl again?

[Still-alive]

lol you're welcome. and not really. im usually the shy type, at least in the beginning. so cold approaches are usually no bueno for me.

[bobalife]

Some girls like the shy type.

[Still-alive]

that they do.

[bobalife]

Very confident.

[Still-alive]

I'm confident once i get over that initial part lol. i just need a good ice breaker usually.

[Still-alive]

Thanks!

[bobalife]

You must be able to pulled many girls🫢🤭 And your welcome, your comment was helpful! 🥹

[HollyK21]

If he were interested in you, I’d like to think he’d have acted on it in some way, even exchanging socials. But he chose not to, which could be because of his very busy schedule. Work and school full time, not much room to accommodate and prioritize a brand new relationship, which would be the expectation. Sure you can be mindful but you’d expect some level of engagement that he can’t provide at this time.


On top of that, this could’ve simply been a case of enjoying someone’s time and conversation. Sort of like when people go to those hookah bars or lounges by themselves, they’ll usually be on the computer working or something, but still chat with the person next to them and it’s a good time. That sounds like the case here, and it’s not me trying to douse your hopes, I just don’t see anything specifically flirtatious, even hanging around longer may not be a big deal. It could be an easier way for him to focus (some people don’t like to work/study at home), just wanting to get out of the house, really truly any number of things.

[ohsheeT]

I would have to say that after he left. He started talking to himself really hard.. wishing he would have said something..

Did he know it was a female friend that was supposed to meet you if not then I can understand why he didn't say anything

But I have a feeling that if you go back in there around the same time , maybe even the same day that you went this time that he might be there , I just have that feeling at least? That's what I would do if I was him , and if I was you l ol

[bobalife]

I actually didn’t tell him I was supposed to meet my friend. He just knew I was focusing on priorities while I was there. But thanks for the encouragement! 🥹

[NathanDavis]

who knows?

what we know for sure is... that you were not interested enough to let him know you're interested in more

I had dozens of situations like this and yes, I enjoyed it every time and it can be great but most of them for me were just things in the moment and I didn't see them as a potential romance or dating situation... it was just me having a good time with a "random" person and getting along with them

and most of the time, I was already in a relationship with someone... or I was interested on someone else, so there was just no chance I would entertain something more than just getting along in the moment

even in the situations in which there was a bit of flirting or playfulness... it would be just that, and in the moment too

the only exceptions were very very few, and that happened with someone truly remarkable and yes, exceptional... and when I felt that way, and it was mutual then a "we have to do this again" would just happen and we would make sure of that, anything less than that... I just didn't make much of it

so think about it... from your perspective, was he actually a truly remarkable and exceptional dude you would not be able to let go? or was just he another cute guy... that, you just let go...

[bobalife]

No, I hesitated because I felt rejected that he didn’t ask for my number… it was an automatic thought. I regretted it after he left.

He definitely was truly remarkable and exceptional… I’d say.

Thanks for sharing your own experience. It makes me wonder if it wasn’t as meaningful to him… but I thought it was mutual during our moment. Maybe I was wrong…

[NathanDavis]

overthinking will do that to you...

but the fact is that... since he was not worth for you to make an exception and actually do something, then he wasn't really exceptional as you didn't do anything worthy of remarkable

so, don't beat yourself over it... there will be a lot more cute guys later, lol

[bobalife]

Omg hahahahaha what’s with that logic? I said I hesitated and regret it 😂😭 he was worth it, but I just got scare for a second lol.

I meannnn…. There’s a lot of cute guys, but not a lot of cute guys who makes me think of them this way.

[NathanDavis]

that is the meaning of exceptional... to make exceptions

you say you don't feel you were meaningful to him, because you were not asked for a number, well...

that seems to imply that you would never ask a guy for a number first, or not at all... and then you just wait till a guy does it, and then you can feel you were meaningful to them, some women are like that

in fact, my ex was like that... lmao, she did say to me very clearly "You'll never see me asking a guy, A MAN has to ask, period..."

yet, she made the exception, with me... lol

but maybe you don't think that way and you also ask guys out from time to time... but you didn't do it with this one, and I think because only truly exceptional and remarkable dudes will make you move or act, rather than hesitate and drop the ball...

[bobalife]

It’s okay if you have that logic lol. But your logic don’t apply to me in this circumstance. He made a great first impression, but I’m only human and got scare for a second. I do prefer a man to lead, but I’m also typically not afraid to initiate to ask to exchange contact. Because he seems amazing… I felt more scared to be rejected and it made me hesitated.

[NathanDavis]

too much mind... overthinking way too much

[NathanDavis]

[realbiggrin]

Go back to that coffee shop. Look for him andbwhen you see him again chase him down and give him your number. No fear, no shyness just get his number. Too nice a beginning not to have a better ending.

[bobalife]

Awww… thank you for the encouragement 🥹😭

[jamesgoldman]

Either he wasn't interested or he just was fearful not to mention these days people often connect via social media rather than over the phone

[bobalife]

Maybe, maybe you’re right 🥺

[DarKnight36]

He was intimidated by you and struggled with the fear of rejection.

[bobalife]

Oh, what makes you think so?

[DarKnight36]

From what I understand, the child isn't an adult yet. If I had been there, I wouldn't have been afraid of losing you; I would have influenced you. But I've concluded that your friend isn't very experienced.

[msc545]

Ask Kim, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.

[In_Trance]

not interested