Do you believe attraction grows over time, or is it either there or it’s not?

Question

new-person · Accepted Answer

From a guys point of view, attraction is other there or not for a guy. The reason is guys are normally 70% visual when it comes to attraction. Me I am a little different but yet the same. From being so severely emotional abused, I value emotional closeness a lot more then other guys and have more emotional needs then other guys.

My first girlfriend I was not physically attractive to but she was the first one who showed me emotional support in my life, and that is why I really fell in love with her. We tried to have intercourse several times but I couldn't get it up because I was not physically attracted to her. She did think I had a problem but really I did not, because my 2 other girlfriend I had after her never seen no problem.

My next girlfriend the attraction was there from the start and no problem, it just did not end up working out do to her keeping big secrets and lying.

My Ex wife, making love to her was hard, because she had features that I did not find attractive and with that, making love I had to only think about the feature I was attracted to.

The moral of this is physical attraction is usually there or not, but one could get in shape and become attractive. But emotional attraction yes it is there or not but it can be built up and earned. There is financial attraction as well, and just remember if you are talking about this, money dose not grow on trees (if the source stops or dies what then?) So it all depends on what kind of attraction you are talking about.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

True attraction I do think grows over time of getting to know one another genuinely on a deeper level. People can have let’s say initial chemistry but it’s important to not get carried away too fast. Someone can feel very strongly for someone and create a fantasy in his/her head of someone that’s not a accurate representation of who someone is only to later become disappointed and resentful.

I don’t think it’s bad to be initially into someone. But you want to make sure they’re compatible as well as not a dark personality. Someone whose pretending to be someone they’re not and is too good to be true. What do I mean?

People with dark intentions many times mask themselves early on and put on a act that isn’t the real then you make you fall for a image. That way later on for some reason or another they can manipulate you and take advantage. People do it for many reasons. Some people are simply selfish maybe they want money, social status, sexual pleasures, etc. Some people abuse has manipulate because it makes them feel powerful even if they get nothing else from it.

But people aren’t even always bad. Some people really get too carried away too fast only to really get to know each other…. And oh. They aren’t who you imagined.

cherrytreeblossom · Accepted Answer

definitely grows over time or vanishes:

have you never seen someone from behind, gotten your hopes up and then they turn around and they are ugly?
ever seen someone nice and then you get closer and they smell?
or when they open their mouth it smells or only bs comes out?
maybe their home is unclean

same thing goes the other way around, too:

maybe someone has a really nice back or stomach, but you'd never be able to tell until they undress
you can never discover great character at a first glance, duh
maybe they do things in life that really stand out to you as sth awesome or hot
maybe they have a cool scar somewhere hidden
that's not even mentioning people's bits which come in so many shapes, colors and sizes

people who claim to "just not have felt any attraction" are probably all just trying to hide the fact that they thought that somebody was ugly in some way or in the case of gold diggers whom we can see in so many shows, they probably came to the conclusion that the other person isn't rich bc they werent wearing a rolex or sth.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Attraction can deepen over time, but there's something that draws you to the other person from the very start, otherwise you wouldn't bother trying. There was one fellow who always seemed to "fill the room" in my mind... wherever I'd go he'd be right there, or looking my way, or getting my attention with something... And that feeling just grew stronger over time till it was instinctive... But from the first moment we met he already drew my attention in a slight way. If there wasn't any attraction there would have been nothing to build on.

HawkPerception · Answer

Attraction both grows and shrinks over time based on many factors.

If the person is consistently proving great character traits and putting effort into maintaining or improving their fitness and physical appearance, their attraction can grow quite a bit. And it's the opposite the other way around. If they start showing negative personality traits and start not to care about their fitness or physical appearance, their attraction can go way down.

This is a huge factor in whether relationships are successful or not. There needs to be attraction for a relationship to thrive.

ohsheeT · Answer

I believe the moment it happen or eye contact you know there is something there and of course depends on each other but yes it grows

Persephone02 · Answer

It's funny because the one guy I ended up being with and falling hard for, I didn't have an initial attraction for. So I'm in the camp that believes attraction grows over time for some of us but not all. I just so happen to be the one that falls into that camp lol

Twodogs0525 · Answer

I've met girls that I didn't initially find overly attractive, especially in college and a few times at places I worked but after spending time with them and getting to know them, their looks definitely changed. A personality can make a difference.

aaron13547 · Answer

It definitely grows. Some of my best friends i didn't get along with at first. That part of a person that challenges us is often the same part of them we grow to love the most.

The ex I loved probably the "most" I didn't get along with at first. We actually had a huge argument and falling out as friend. Met again years later and somehow all the hate we had turned into love, with a talk. That talk lead to some of the most memorable moments of my past.

People grow together and they also grow apart. Lifes about the journey not the outcome. 🙂🙃🙂

You can't pick a flower before it grows. Same way we can't judge a person before we really know them

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I believe attraction is much too limited a word for such a complex sensory experience !

It's a bit like music structure to me? You know, polyphonic, multi-channels. Like I can be attracted intellectually, emotionally, sensually, sexually. Though, unlike music, it seems arbitrary to me to deconstruct this composition, because each channel answers to another one constantly. And again, unlike music, it takes me some time to fully experience how channels are going to interweave

Keyboardkat · Answer

It can definitely grow over time. I've heard many stories about how couples go on a date and nothing much happens. Then they don't see each other for a while, and then they may go out again, and suddenly something amazing happens, seemingly for no reason. They may see something in each other which they never noticed before.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Both.. There has to be something there frommthe beginning.. Enough for you to start pursuing and letting it grow into. ore overtime.. Although sometimes there could be little there, and overtime something has developed.. But that's probably much less common..

sage2021 · Answer

It's either there or it's not for me anyway. But I have heard a lot of people say that they couldn't stand a person when they first met them and it took a while - then they end up married.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Sexual attraction I think is there from the start because that's usually visual based more then anything.

Romantic attraction that takes time to develop and blossom while it can be there from start it's rare and of course it can affect sexual attraction as well.

Twalli · Answer

There's obviously attraction at first glance, but I don't believe you know enough about the person at that point to know if it's just surface level. The more you know, the more you can be attracted to someone. I also had a teacher who I didn't consider that attractive, but after almost a year I started to see her physical beauty. It probably had some connection to the fact that she was one of my favorite teachers, but I never harbored sexual or romantic thoughts about her.

MissSunshine2 · Answer

Good question. It can be instant for me, or it can grow over time, as i spend more time getting to know people better, Usually the stronger the chemistry, the more wrong the person is for you as a partner, from my experience.

Berethor · Answer

Heard the saying grown on me? if she not a virgin then I don't want to give her a chance.

MemeSupreme · Answer

feel like sometimes its all about just timing and the setting where you meet someone people act differently based on the setting they're in

AgentG111 · Answer

It's gotta be there first and it can grow over time but it can ALSO fade over time as well. Marriage is a constant work and if / when one or both parties fail to work at it, it's over

Theunfadeable · Answer

Attraction is either there or not. You can take women out on inexpensive dates and spend all day trying to convince her why she should like you but it’s not gonna help if she doesn’t already find you attractive

slatyb · Answer

It can. I have met women I didn't initially find attractive but after encountering then a few times I did. I advise people who aren't getting attention to find an activity group so that people get to know them.

Spencer10 · Answer

Grows over time... then probably peaks. The trick is to keep it there

uzumymw · Answer

It grows in the first few times of meeting and if it's not there it won't grow. Once it is there, it'll keep growing while you explore each other and may blossom into new found attraction too

WonderingManII · Answer

It seems like attraction is there today and gone tomorrow.

LiamS95 · Answer

Attraction continues to grow over time with someone you love.

beenherebefore · Answer

For me and my Partner we found each other attractive the first time we saw each other. He's been very attractive and handsome in my eyes ever since.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Abso-fucking-lutely... Or it shrinks... But I definitely have experienced both

OneViewpoint · Answer

Both. Attraction can start with infatuation or it can be a slow burn over years.

queenofcardio · Answer

A little attraction is a must and then there's possibility for it to grow.

Nikki1989 · Answer

On a mental level it often does. Of course, the opposite can also happen.

Still-alive · Answer

it can grow and it can also die. they might be physically attractive looking but if their personality is shit then my attraction will go down to a negative 100 lol

UrLoveMocha · Answer

I think it can be all of those things. It depends on the circumstances and the people involved.

Xawyx-2 · Answer

For some people I guess it's possible... but for me, attraction happens usually at first sight.

dragoblack · Answer

A little of both. Usually if you both vibe comfortably, it will grow over time. If you are disgusted or fully turned off by them, no amount of time will attraction grow

Lucianmagnus · Answer

I believe attraction can grow overtime but you first must be attracted to the person or each other

AydenHazor · Answer

It can grow over time, but I would not recommend waiting on it too. It only throws when there's another relationship already in place

genericname85 · Answer

It may or may not. Depends on the person and the fit with you.

Anonymous · Answer

For me it doesn’t. It’s either there right away or never at all.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

There's immediate attraction and there's attraction which grows overtime...

Anonymous · Answer

Cherry popper! Message me 😊 for me it is usually either there or it’s not when it comes to physical attraction.  emotional attraction definitely grows.

Abbycado · Answer

For me, I either am, or I'm not.

ABC1x1x · Answer

Yes and yes. Its different every time, or it isn't.

msc545 · Answer

I think it's mostly either there or it's not. This is particularly true for women.

Anonymous · Answer

It can. I don't think any woman I've ever dated was attracted to me till she got to know me.

serious · Answer

Either it is there or it is not.

realbiggrin · Answer

Attraction maybe... admiration absolutely.

Shiprex · Answer

It can but often one sided (see friendzone)

fish5505_87 · Answer

sometimes, It's happened to me.

Anonymous · Answer

They definitely grow.

jahaims · Answer

Both

dudeinohio · Answer

It can grow.

Do you believe attraction grows over time, or is it either there or it’s not?

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Can attraction develop over time?

Do you believe attraction grows over time, or is it either there or it’s not?

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Can attraction develop over time?

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