Do men have a timeline when it comes to having kids?

[Anonymous]

I went out a few dates with a guy who lied about his age that he was 40 when he was actually 50. Instant rejection. He doesn't have the lifespan to raise kids.

I asked my 68 yr old mother "is a 50 yr old man too old to have kids?" she said "OF COURSE!" He would be dead or on his deathbed before the kid is grown. How would he pay for college? He won't be able to! cuz he would be retired!" I asked another 72 yr old woman who told me the same thing..."why would you want to see someone who is SO OLD? he won't be able to fuck in 10 years" Another few 50 yr old men who agreed that they were too old to have kids. Having a child is one story but raising one is entirely different one.

[Apple1996]

Yep mens sperm quality starts declining around 30. At 39 sperm banks won't even take from them anymore so biological childern should be out of the question past 40-45 for men. Even with adoption or sperm donation a older parent has so many drawbacks like you mentioned they might die before that child becomes college aged, they won't be able to be active with their kids, its traumatic for a child to grow up watching their parent be old aged/sick/having to be their caretaker. Just overall a bad idea to have kids when older especially for a man

[Avicenna]

What parent is "active with their kids" when the kids are young adults?
Even if you have your kids before you turn 25, they're going to be your caregiver at some point in their lives. By your reasoning, the adult children who are 50 or older will have a difficult time even taking care of their elderly parents.

[Asker]

@Avicenna

parenting small children is physically hard. parenting teenagers is emotionally hard and stressful. If you are 60+ years old, its unlikely you would do a very good job. You would likely be a slacking parent.

[fonduegirl]

@Apple1996 I always learn more about the world from you!

[fonduegirl]

@Avicenna think you've misinterpreted the word "active" here. We ain't talking if parents are spending time with you or not. Although that's necessary and very beneficial for development.

We asking if you can pay or not, if you have your senses in tact or not, if you're stable or not. Because if any of those are negative, your kids won't see you as authority figure and disrespect you and do stupid things around, because who's gonna listen to some senile person? If you lecture them on working hard, they'd show you the generational gap.

My dad and my brother get along really well. But most of the times he won't listen to him and always ends in trouble. My mom is the younger, dominant figure, the dependable one who gives him an earful and stops him from doing more stupid stuff with friends. I really don't think OP, or any sane woman in her right mind, wants to be the younger partner who's working harder to make ends meet and doing damage control in the house coz husband is too old for it... Its very unfortunate role

[fonduegirl]

@Avicenna people treat their parents like burdens around here, and that's people with appropriate age gaps, like dad 50 and daughter 22 kind of thing.

We live in a patriarchal society. Males lose their worth once they stop earning and women lose theirs once they lose fertility period.

[Apple1996]

@Asker i got curious and had to google this. Men over 50 years old count for 1% or less of all fathers of newborns being born. Its pretty rare for men that old to even have kids. These men in the comments are completely delusional thinking they have no biological clock. Its a good thing you rejected that old man. Lying about age is crazy enough and shows he's untrustworthy, wouldn't make a good dad even in the rare event that he could become one. Who knows what else he's lying about

[melssvdv]

"Just overall a bad idea to have kids when older especially for a man "
Uhm... it is kinda the opposite? It is overall a bad idea to have kids when older specially for a WOMAN. Since men can still keep their fertility at an older age unlike us.

[fonduegirl]

@melssvdv what you gonna do with kid if you can't raise it? I'm sorry have you seen the economy

[Apple1996]

@melssvdv women live on average 7 to 10 years longer than men. Even if a older couple adopted a child in their 50s the mother would be able to completely raise the child to adulthood while the father would probably be dead. It has nothing to do with fertility but if the child can acutally be raised

[Apple1996]

@fonduegirl yep exactly. Older people eventually have to retire like are they planning to raise a child on their retirement pay? How will that child have health insurance if the parents aren't working? It would be financially irresponsible to have a child that old because eventually the parents will die and no one will be around to help that child adjust to adulthood

[fonduegirl]

If just giving birth was enough, orphanages wouldn't be such sorrowful place on earth.

[melssvdv]

"women live on average 7 to 10 years longer than men."
You are exaggerating. More like 4 years.

"50s the mother would be able to completely raise the child to adulthood while the father would probably be dead"

A mother cannot raise a child to adulthood as well as a man the moment the child is at teenage years. That is why single mothers fail (children being drug abusers, prostitutes, etc.) and single fathers thrive (kids disciplined) and are better at raising kids than women. I was raised by single dad. And the father is very well alive and well at his 50 while mothers are cramped by chronic and auto immune diseases (that is our female biology). That is why mothers depend on their husbands to take the children into discipline especially when the kids are in their adolescence.

[melssvdv]

@Apple1996 "women live on average 7 to 10 years longer than men."
You are exaggerating. More like 4 years.

"50s the mother would be able to completely raise the child to adulthood while the father would probably be dead"

A mother cannot raise a child to adulthood as well as a man the moment the child is at teenage years. That is why single mothers fail (children being drug abusers, prostitutes, etc.) and single fathers thrive (kids disciplined) and are better at raising kids than women. I was raised by single dad. And the father is very well alive and well at his 50 while mothers are cramped by chronic and auto immune diseases (that is our female biology). That is why mothers depend on their husbands to take the children into discipline especially when the kids are in their adolescence.

[loveyouoak]

I completely agree with you. Men think they can have children at any age just because they’re still physically able to. But they never think about what that actually means long term. It’s not just about having a child, it’s about being around to raise them. With age, sperm quality decline, and there’s also the reality that an older father not be there for major milestones in the child’s life. I don’t think it makes much sense for much older men to start having children. At some point, it is better to accept that chapter has passed.

[OlderAndWiser]

Any woman who believes a man can't have sex after age 60 doesn't realize that she must be a bone killer, because men are certainly capable of having sex when they are 75 and 80 years old.

At the oldest, a man should be 65 or younger when his youngest child graduates from college. That probably means having children not later than 40. Men are biologically capable of having children at a later age but it is very unkind to bring a child into this world knowing that you will be 75 years old when they graduate from high school!

[HawkPerception]

I think socially, yes. We may have about 10 years more than girls before it becomes socially strange for a man to have kids. I'd say around 50 is when men start becoming much less desired to be the father of children.

Biologically, no, there is no timeline. Realistically though, it's ideal to have kids younger as it affects the kids genetics.

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

[Asker]

At 60, its more important for you to sign up for AARP and build up a retirement savings than to try to spend money to raise a child. Just keeping it realistic here.

[AviatorTom]

No, men do not have a timeline.

There are many confirmed cases of men older than 60 fathering a child.

My father was 67 when I was born. Men produce sperm from the time they pass puberty until they die. There is some evidence that the quality of sperm may decrease as a man ages but it's still good enough to impregnate an egg.

[Asker]

yea... how often do you see 67 yr old having kids? be honest with yourself.
you probably got made fun of as a kid for having a grandpa as a dad.

[AviatorTom]

Not at all. My father was healthier than some of the other kids' fathers. We played baseball together. He died at 98 while many others died in their 60s and 70s from being overweight and heart problems.

[Asker]

@aviatortom

Vast majority of people die in their 70s.

[Asker]

At your age, its more important for you to sign up for AARP and build up a retirement savings than to try to spend money to raise a child. Just keeping it realistic here.

[AviatorTom]

Not to worry. I'm done having kids. My 3 grown kids are just fine.

My father was 30 years older than my mother, which is why he had me at what many call an advanced age.

[Asker]

@aviatortom

I don't believe that BS. Way too many men on here lie about how they know so many couples that are 20-50 years older... In real life, couples like that barely exist.

[Avicenna]

Is there a question here, or are you just ranting?

Some 50 year old guys won't make it to 68, that's true. But many or most will. And plenty of data is available out there to tell you that.

No one cares if you don't want to have kids with a man who's 50 or over, and it's perfectly fine if you don't. But don't make a fool of yourself by believing a man can't have sex anymore once he turns 60- STD rates are highest in retirement communities like The Villages in Florida.

[Asker]

At your age, its more important for you to sign up for AARP and build up a retirement savings than to try to spend money to raise a child. Just keeping it realistic here.

[fonduegirl]

He can live upto 90 years, but he won't be useful

[Asker]

@fonduegirl

yea... just cuz he is alive, it doesn't mean he will be a part of the child's life... there are some parents who do absolutely nothing for their children

[fonduegirl]

He's grandpa age, girl

[Avicenna]

@fonduegirl I am indeed old enough to be a grandfather, but I’m also still able to run around with kids as well as father them. So rant all you like, it’s meaningless.

Asker, unless you have managed to reduce that ginormous student loan debt you ran up for your very useless Grievance Studies degree, you are in no position to comment on anyone else’s finances. I know you’re desperately trying to find a guy who will pay it off for you , but you have no chance.

What you might think is impossible in your own eternally dire financial straits isn’t applicable to those of us who are more responsible with our money.

[fonduegirl]

I was calling her boyfriend grandpa

[fonduegirl]

We live in a patriarchal society. Men are judged based on their finances, women on their beauty and fertility.

Where'd student loan come from? LOL

[Avicenna]

@fonduegirl: Guys get judged on looks too- look at what the Asker was complaining about!

[fonduegirl]

She's half his age, of course she'd worry about that!

[fonduegirl]

Maybe think twice before taking out a person who could be your daughter? Just saying. The whole hot older man thing is nothing more than a Hollywood trope, if a woman IRL is doing it, she's doing it for the money

[fonduegirl]

Asker seems to be financially stable and emotionally mature. Hence unfitted to age gap relationships

[Asker]

@avicennacenna
At your age, you're better off building up a retirement savings than wasting it all trying to raise a child.

[DishLady]

Some do and some don’t. A close friend of mine just rolled into his 50s and is having massive anxiety attacks about not being a dad… but tbh he doesn’t have any sort of paternal instincts.

[4ngelic]

yes but less than women. men have about 20 years longer to have children (andropause is real, happens in 60s. men aren't fertile actually their whole lives), though some can still have children at older ages than that but it's not the majority of men. older men having kids usually involves medical help or a lot of time trying though. but sperm quality and fertility do begin to deteriorate even in men much earlier than that, starting at about 30 (and in some studies, even 25-26. but 30 is more consensus) because that's when aging with a capital A truly begins, slowly. it accelerates after 35. but for men it has less of an impact than women because men unlike women aren't born with all the reproductive cells they will ever need in their lives, they make new batches constantly. but the whole system does age, and makes poorer and poorer sperm. after 35 the risks of causing the woman a miscarriage, preterm foetal birth, having a child with mental illness, autism, obesity, and other conditions rise. and the older the men gets, the more risk to the health of the child.

for the more societal stuff, most men tend to have children between 26-42 or so. doing that later especially much much later can cause some problems. there are some 'penalties' for not completing milestones at the typical ages. also if you're like a 60yo dad of a newborn for ex, there's a high chance you'll never see their 25th bday. you'll never be a grandad if you don't have other children. your age might negatively affect your ability to raise your child, you might not have the energy and stamina you'd have had 30 years ago. you might have to delay retirement because you'll need to provide for your kids. there's also the problem with women. some men (generally rich or exceptionally well preserved attractive men) are able to attract much younger partners but most will struggle. also some older men don't even want to date decades younger women. women are infertile without help sometime in their early 40s, and some women already start to struggle with fertility at 35. so if you're a 55yo man for ex, you'll have to get someone 20-25 years younger to marry you, or even younger if you want many kids. if you don't want to/can't you'll have to do some surrogate type stuff, and that's very costly or illegal depending on where you are. so i think there is some time constraints that aren't medical

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

[fonduegirl]

I can't believe even women are mocking you. It's astonishing really

[fonduegirl]

Unless you want to become nurse and clean after him, mission abort GIRL. He's not worth it. Even if he's handsome and wealthy. Parent age gap is weird and unnatural and stupid

[Asker]

@fonduegirl

lets be honest... if he is wealthy. you can inherit all his money after he dies... at least this is a perk.

but if you marry a old man with no money, there is no real benefit. Other than being a nurse to a senior citizen by 50

[fonduegirl]

Definitely. That's why you'd see gold diggers only going for older guys. Its only rational

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, I assure you these old women you are talking to have very limited life experience and no idea what they're talking about. Personally I'm 59 and I've raised 2 sons. I don't want more kids. That experience was rewarding but I don't want to repeat it. But here are the holes in the logic of the old women you are listening to. I'll address a 50 year old man since that's the number you tossed out there.

• A 50 year old man may be independently wealthy at that point in his life. That's about where I achieved generational wealth and financial independence that allows me to do what I want, when I want, with whoever I want. Don't discount the quality of life and the peace of mind that comes with that freedom. Paying for college may not be a problem for guys like that.
• A guy who has kids at 50 is gonna be what, 73-75 when his kids graduate from college and get out on their own? That's not that old in today's world of medicine.
• I'm 59 (I know a geezer) but I'm 10 lbs heavier than I was when I graduated college at 21 and entered the military. 192 lbs vs 202 lbs at 6'2". Full head of hair so far. I still lift weights, run, ski, swim, body surf, backpack, hike, mountain bike, and sail up a set of stairs like I did in my 20's. My dick works just fine without dick pills and my libido is still strong. I don't see that changing anytime soon. So don't write off guys age 50 in the bedroom. Especially if like 85% of women, your own libido is falling off a cliff in your mid 30's.
• If these guys haven't had kids, maybe they're ready to be dads. Maybe it became a bucket list thing for them over time. They've lived life and fought the battles. Now they are calmer and wiser with more life experience to impart to a son or daughter and ready to be a parent with the time to devote to that task.

In my mind it comes down to the 2 individuals and their connection vs their goals rather than age. If you were talking about a 70 year old guy, I'd agree with you. But a 50 year old guy? Nah, you're way underestimating some of those guys.

[WindAtMyBack]

Both of those women are wrong. Although 50 might be on the old side to have kids, it's certainly not too old if he is in good health. The life expectancy for a 50 year old in good health is in the late 80s, so he won't be on his death bed when the kid is grown.

"he won't be able to fuck in 10 years"

That is completely absurd. Somebody has been watching too many Viagra commercials.

It's a matter of choice. Some men would not want to have a kid at that age, but many will. This question came up with a group of friends when we were in our mid-50s. About half said they would be OK having a kid at that age, and the other half said they wouldn't. It's simply a choice of what you want to do in your life at that age. For me personally, around 50 was the cut-off. But that's just me.

Look at all the grand parents out there raising kids. In the US, there are over 2 million grand parents raising kids. My neighbors are doing it. The kid is now 20 and the grand parents are 73 and 78.

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

[WindAtMyBack]

Of course they are able, maybe better able than younger parents. As for college, they likely have more money than someone younger also. If they don't have money after retirement, they probably didn't have money when they were younger either.

You seem to be picturing someone 90 not 70. Most 70 year olds are very active.

[Asker]

@windatmyback

most people get sick and die in their 70s.

if you are retired at 65, how the hell are you going to raise your kid?

you tell me

[WindAtMyBack]

"most people get sick and die in their 70s. "

This is just not true. It's factually wrong. A healthy 50 year old American man has a life expectancy of mid-late 80s. A healthy 70 year old has a life expectancy even older.

The exact number for an **average** 50 year old man is 79.
The exact number for an **average** 70 year old man is 84.

Those are averages for everyone, including over weight smokers who get no exercise. For someone healthy it's much older.

[Asker]

I am a nurse, I work with the dying and the elderly. MOST people die in their 70s. Some make it to their early to mid 80s. Very few people make it after 85.

And just because you are alive at 65 or 70, it won't mean you will be involved in your child's life.

Raising a child takes a lot of energy, money, stamina. You won't have those by the time you are 65.

[molonski2]

The view of those women is absolute jealous bullshit frankly , a man at 50 ( who is the correct weight ) plus he passed for 40 , is in the absolute prime of life and well able to reproduce , and well able to deal with being a father..
Actually in a vastly better position..
We all have a life span , I lost my father young (an accident ) I also had a child later in life , with a young productive mother.
Evolution has allowed men to reproduce at any age , and as for " not being able to Fck " if he is healthy and fit ( correct weight ) , weight is vital he will probably out last you. Of far greater concern is menopausal women.
I enjoy my much younger girlfriends , works well.

[Asker]

jealous of what? the fact that you had kids on your deathbed? that you're retired, not working at 65 and have a kid you dont have the money to raise?

[Asker]

trust me, if you can't retire at 65 cuz you still have a kid you need to send to college... nobody would be jealous of you.

[HighValue]

It is dependent on their genetics and lifestyle habits.

For example,

Man #1: 35 is too old, he will be bald, weak, and dead by his mid 50s. Likely will get diabetes, have limited food options, possible end up crippled or blind. He drinks alcohol every week, has done drugs in his past, doesn't exercise, and has bad genetics.

Man #2: 50 is not too old at all, he will still have his hair at 80 years old, be strong, healthy, and capable of participating in physical activities. He never drinks alcohol, smokes, didn't do any drugs, exercises frequently, and has good genetics.

[jshm2]

LOL, what the fuck are you and your mother smoking? There are men in their 80's still fathering kids. Age is a "problem" for women - not men. Menopausal women have issues making kids. Few men lose their virility with age.

As for your issue. You could drop dead tomorrow regardless of your age. But a man living into his 50's is someone who is going to live a longer life - or die trying.

A women in her 50's... is not going to do much, too old to have kids, too old to look good often, too old to be much of a partner in most cases. You might as well divorce and go "younger" as she isn't going to.

It's why most men in the 50's will not marry a women in her 50's.

[Anonymous]

Why would you even be dating a 40 yr. old?😆

No guys generally do not have a timeline for kids. Guys do not typically even have a timeline for marriage. I've talked to women about this before on here because some women have this "timeline" planned out before she's even met the guy who will eventually be the father of her kids. To a guy understand this is so, "cart before the horse". We can't even conceive of making plans like that about a woman we have not even met yet, let alone started dating, let alone married.

[Asker]

who cares if you can get a woman pregnant if no woman wants your baby?
yes, this is why guys do have a timeline.

[Asker]

once you get old and ugly, trust me, its VERY VERY VERY HARD to get a woman who actually wants your baby.

[Opinion Owner]

Well now I think we understand why no one wants you to have thiers now.😆😆😆

[Asker]

yea... i want a man I can actually RAISE the child with... not some old dude who would be too old to actually do any work to raise the kid in 10 years.

[Hagar88]

Men can have a longer time when they can have kids compared to women but sperm quality degrades and they become less and less fertile and say after a certain age they really shouldn't be having kids because of the liklihood of kids being born with autism or downsyndrome.

[Asker]

yea but as you get older, fewer women will see you as a good fit to be a baby father.

[Hagar88]

True but also women dont start seeing men as husband material until they are in their 30s&40s. Unless they are say pro athletes or with them in high school & college and know they are going on to well paid careers. Its an instinctive biological thing, women want to ensure that when they marry and have kids their partner can provide for them and the kids.

[Asker]

@hagar88

most men marry in their 20s-30s, not 40s-50s.

because younger men tend to produce healthier offspring and are more likely to be able to protect the family

[Asker]

In 2024, the median age for men getting married for the first time was 30.2 — up from 29.3 in 2014. And in 1956, it was 22.5.

www.google.com/search

[Hagar88]

Men right now marry around after 30 and women at 28. 30% of men in their 40s have never been married.
70% of women are married by age 30 vs 50% of men.

[Asker]

@hagar88

not many. Just a slight uptick.

Also an uptick in disabled children, mentally ill children because people are having kids at later ages.

[Hagar88]

I agree completely but there it is.

[Asker]

@hagar88

It's a SLIGHT uptick. Not a huge one

[Asker]

In 2024, the median age for men getting married for the first time was 30.2

[MontBlanc]

Yes , but it’s usually psychological, not biological.

Most men don’t feel the same physical clock women do. Their “timeline” tends to be about stability , career, finances, emotional readiness.

It’s less about age, more about whether they feel established and prepared to lead and provide.

When a man feels grounded in his life, the idea of kids shifts from pressure to purpose.

[Kaneki05]

I am gonna have 5 kids now when I get super old because of this question so thank you, the optimal way to not need to be a father but leave a history mark on this world and leave it with more chaos. And as I am dying I can think of the possibilities to their future as fiction yet to be told, pure genius actually so thank you.

[CherryLove007]

Reality check
Older fathers can be great dads and younger fathers can struggle a whole lot.
For a parent I tend to see that stability, patience, and presence matter more than age alone. Older men might be able to be present more than a younger father in college or working. Older men have more knowledge and freedom.

Your mother is not a male so ask this question to a male who had a child in his 50's

[MikeMcMansion]

Today I think men my age who have good genes and live healthy, and put their health as a priority could be active fathers if they chose to start a family at 39-40. They can be just as good of fathers or better than guys 20 years younger, especially if they already have the house and the money/business. A lot of guys my age basically lost their chance to be a dad even though they had kids due to family court being so one-sided in most states.

[Asker]

yea but as you get older, fewer women will see you as a good fit to be a baby father.

[MikeMcMansion]

I don’t think so, I think they’ll see the wrinkles in the face and no matter how hot the rest of him is or attractive he is…its the slight appearance of wrinkles, no matter how much money he has, it will be the wrinkles reminding them of his age right their in the face.

[Asker]

@mikemcmansion

yea... men losing hair as they get older, getting fatter, saggier, dick stop working, knee starts aching... how is that attractive to young women?

[MikeMcMansion]

Uh.. lol, some guys stay in pretty good shape, muscles strong, six pack, no roids, dick works. Genes blessed me and other guys but got me on the hair and no guy or woman defeats the wrinkles without some obvious surgeries. So it would take a hell of a popular guy with a good personality to actually attract some young lady without kids yet willing to have them at 40, I admit to that much

[MikeMcMansion]

*willing to start a family with some 40 year old

[Asker]

@mikemcmansion

to be honest, not many young women are looking to have kids with guys past 40. Only if she is settling.

[Asker]

vast majority of men tend to have had their first child prior to 40

[MikeMcMansion]

So did I, but i didn’t get to their dad. I see how I am in better health and shape than most guys in their 20s and I kinda think I was stupid a few years ago thinking I was too old to start a family

[Asker]

@mikemcmansion

30s is not too old to start a family. Anything after 40 will make retirement difficult.

Realize that you need to support this kid through college. By the time you are 65 and ready to retire, if your kid is still 20 years old and in college. You're screwed.

[MikeMcMansion]

Well I’d be sixty when they’re 20 theoretically, given that I prioritize fitness and longevity runs in my genes, unless I do something crazy, which I do, I’ll probably be in good health when they are 20 and I’m 60. however, the kids I had before might be coming around, trying to get in on my business. That would complicate things. Life is complicated. No one can plan for everything with fool-proof plans, fear or laziness stop a lot of potentially great people from doing great things or having/raising people that will go on to do great things.

[exitseven]

We had all our kids before we tuned 30. We were usually the younger parents but we got them all through college when we were in our early 50s and still young enough to enjoy life. I have a cousin who is 70 who is still working to put his kid through college.

[zagor]

Well one my relatives had his first kid at 56, and another one 3 years later. He takes them surfing now that they are 10 and 7 (his wife was in her 30's when they married) and seems to do fine. Almost no one in the family dies before 80 and most are healthy up til then or later.

[Asker]

yea... continue lying.

[Asker]

At your 60, its more important for you to sign up for AARP and build up a retirement savings than to try to spend money to raise a child. Just keeping it realistic here.

[fonduegirl]

You can live up to a hundred years, ftr. You need pension, you need caregivers, you need healthcare, long story short it's about money, its all about providing, for men at least.

OP, ATP all these men are trolling you. They are speaking biologically and intentionally dodging the problem lol

[Asker]

@fonduegirl

I work as a nurse. Trust me, MOST people die in their 70s. Some make it to their early to mid 80s. Very few people make it after 85.

yea thats the issue, how the hell are you going to raise a child if you are retired?

how can you look after a child if you could barely walk steadily?

[fonduegirl]

This place is very misogynistic. You could let a 100yo man impregnate you and people here would still cheer

[Asker]

@fonduegirl this is a place where men don't have to father their children.

[fonduegirl]

That's a stretch. I'm pretty sure these men are the fathers who went to get milk and never came back... And they have the good sense to preach you.

Hahaha. I have a dad who is much older. I'm speaking with experience, it doesn't work out

[Asker]

@fonduegirl

When I told my female coworkers, they laughed at me for seeing a 50 yr old man. In 14 years, I'd be taking care of the child and the old man

[zagor]

Really? Would you like to put some money on that, smartass? His kids are doing pretty well.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, men can have kids until they die. Or have a surgery.

Does that make sense? No.

I would say 35 is the maximum. Later the age gap will be too big. And you don't want other people hear telling: the kid is with his grandpa here.

[qwerty2469]

Yes. We have maybe 10 years with each wife and it gets harder and harder to get a new younger wife as you get old. I'm 44 and getting a 30 year old woman was hard. I have less than 10 years with her really. After 30 it gets harder as she runs out of eggs and risk of Downs increases exponentially after 30

[qwerty2469]

And yes. I don't want to have a kid at 50. Times running out fast

[Asker]

you're the only honest one here. im 30, not interested in 40 yr olds.

[qwerty2469]

Most aren't. I'm physically fit with a fat dick that knows how to use it, has tons of fun stories and has money. Had I been anyone else I doubt I would have had a 3rd wife. We will have our fun and as I age out she will get bored of me. She will have her offspring taken care of and Mary a 20 year old tennis instructor at 38. It's Karma. I trust her to pick a nice guy. He's the one that's gonna play catch with my kid when I'm too old.

[Asker]

@avicenna

take note from this one.

[melssvdv]

I think you're one of those 1,334,554 women who is upset that old men can beget offspring way easier than older women and do not hit the wall like we do.

[Asker]

I think you are a man hiding behind a woman's account.

[melssvdv]

Sure.

[PeachyPie93]

Yes, just as woman do.. Sperm deteriorates as they get older, same as woman.. you can have kids but old sperm has more genetic things wrong like cancer and such..

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

[PeachyPie93]

If the man is healthy and has money they will be fine but he could die.. Men rarely actually do much raising of kids anyways tbh.. But yeah I wouldn't mate with an old guy lol..

[Asker]

@peachypie93

imagine trying to raise a child with a man who could barely walk or chase after a young child, also doesn't have the money to support the child cuz he's retired.

[petitedollbabee]

To having kids? No. To having good quality sperm? Absolutely. Sperm quality deteriorates with age, leading to higher chances of disability and defects in babies.

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

[petitedollbabee]

Yes for sure, but that makes the question more so “do men have a timeline for being a father” rather than timeline for having kids. Life is not guaranteed whether you have kids young or not, I have 2 kids but I could die next week.

[Asker]

@petitedollbabee

don't tell me you are more likely to die at 25 than at 65.

[Kingofkings1992]

What the fuck kind of world are you living in? No, men do not have a time line. Women are the ones who have a time line. Women's most ideal years for having a kid is between the ages of 18-35. Past that, they risk serious birth complications. Men of any age can have a child.

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

who wants to have a child with someone like that?

[Berethor]

Men Get Old, Women Get Replaced Trope, Old Women are jealous that Old Men can still have Kids. Of course ideally both Men and Women would have Kids in their 20s.

[Asker]

I am not attracted to old men.. thats why I won't have kids with a 50 yr old. Not that he would have the lifespan to raise kids either.

[Asker]

you can have kids... but the problem is when you're old and ugly... no young attractive woman would want to have your kids. thats the point

[Berethor]

Age-Gap Romance Trope, there is Old Men who was able to get an Young Woman.

[Asker]

@berethor

research doesn't prove that.

I myself am 30 and definitely not interested in 50 yr old men, not 40 yr olds either.

[Berethor]

Being 30 years old is pretty old for a woman, your fertility has already started to fall.

[Asker]

well by 40, even most 30 yr old woman won't even want you.

[Avicenna]

Asker, how many years now have you made these inane posts on this very same topic only to be told that you don't know what you're talking about and no one cares about your personal biases?

[Asker]

@Avicenna

most young women's bias are young men. Its not only MY bias. Its the vast majority of our bias. Realize that, old man.

[Avicenna]

You definitely aren’t hot. Five years and counting you’ve been ranting and getting no guy whatsoever. Meanwhile you’re getting older, even fatter, and even nastier. No one would date you.

[Asker]

@Avicenna

A 30 yr old woman has way more options than a senior citizen like you.

you're better off saving for retirement than to spend all your savings trying to raise a child. that chapter has passed for you, old man

[Avicenna]

There are certainly 30-year-old women who do (but those options are declining as they age), but not only is it irrelevant to me that they do, the bad news for you is that by the time a man reaches my age, if he's taken care of himself, there are beaucoup options because women now outlive men and many are empty nesters. You, however, are not one of those 30-year-old women because, by your own admission, you're talking to much older guys despite your protestations AND you're still not getting anywhere with them. You're way too fat and ugly and it's all downhill for you.

As for my savings and retirement, I don't think I need advice from someone who still owes $200,000 in student loan debt with no hope of paying it off.

[DryGermanGuy]

Uhm… people in Western countries easily reach ages of 80 and older. Just saying.

[Asker]

yea... how many 80 yr olds do you see having kids?

[DryGermanGuy]

? The person in your question is 50. Which means being able to be 30+ years involved in his children’s lives.

[Asker]

being alive doesn't mean he is involved. Raising small children requires someone who can actually run around them, play with them, go on trips with them, teach them how to ride a bike, pay for college... you can do that when you could barely walk and are retired.

[Asker]

being alive doesn't mean he is involved. Raising small children requires someone who can actually run around them, play with them, go on trips with them, teach them how to ride a bike, pay for college... you CAN'T do that when you could barely walk and are retired.

[DryGermanGuy]

Being young and working is equally no guarantee of being involved. In the end it’s more a question of character and family values and less of age. By the way, there is a reason why often the grandparents play important roles in children’s lives.

[Asker]

@drygermanguy

Grandparents visit their grandchildren once or twice a month, they don't babysit everyday.

[Asker]

why do you think old people need home health aides or nurses?

[DryGermanGuy]

Obviously you don’t have the best overview about grandparents, there are enough families where the grandparents are actively involved or even live in the same household.

[DryGermanGuy]

Yes, old old people do need help and aides, but again, in the West that’s more for ages nearing 90. I speak from several experiences.

[Asker]

@drygermanguy

parenting is the same as "helping". Understand that.

plus, there is no way you can pay for college for multiple children if you are retired. your kids will only suffer.

not that there will be a lot of young women wanting to have kids with some ugly old man either

[Asker]

@drygermanguy

parenting ISN'T the same as "helping". Understand that.

plus, there is no way you can pay for college for multiple children if you are retired. your kids will only suffer.

not that there will be a lot of young women wanting to have kids with some ugly old man either

[DryGermanGuy]

Paying for college? In Europe we don’t have to pay for our colleges, the way it should be.

[Asker]

@drygermanguy

well in america and MOST countries in the world, you actually have to pay for college.

[andreasderjuengere]

Initially, we do not have one (time line).
But with advancing age we figure out that without kids we will be better off.
By then it's already too late to fix what happened earlier.

[Asker]

yes you do have a timeline.
Because when you're old, ugly, good luck trying to find someone who would want to have your kids...
you don't have the life to raise kids either once you get too old. Kids are expensive and take a long time to grow.

[andreasderjuengere]

I "raise" a step grandson. That shall be enough ( his mom went off, his dad is kind of a loser). I'm looking good emough to get laid regularly. Thanks. What actuallly IS your question?

[Asker]

scroll above and you will see the question

[BCRanger10]

Physically and biologically? No. A man can have kids until the day he dies.

[Asker]

yea but you're missing the point. You need the lifespan to be able to raise the kid you have. Are you gonna be able to parent well? especially if you are old, tired and have little to nothing left in you? are you going to be able to pay for college when you are retired at 70?

[Asker]

you can father a child that you can never ever raise or provide a good childhood for.

[BCRanger10]

That's the other side of the coin. While a man could physically father a child into an old age, I don't necessarily think he should. If my wife and I are in our 70s and she dies before me, at that point, I don't think I would remarry. And even if I did, it would be to a woman who was close to my age.

And I also for that reason am not a fan of men in their 70s or older having relationships with younger women of childbearing age. He needs to be around to help morally form a child. And if he's advanced in years, he won't be around. Of course, as a pro-lifer, I would never ever counsel an abortion. I just don't think a much older man should be having sex with much younger women (my belief in waiting until marriage for sex aside).

[Asker]

you're the only decent person on here.
Any person who wants to have a child after the age of 45, is too old. Its very selfish to want to have a child at 70, even at 50. Very well knowing that you would be retired , unable to financially raise the child, unable to play with the child- things like teaching to ride a bike, motorbike, swimming , unable to provide a good childhood experience. The kid will likely suffer from traumatic things like seeing their father get dementia or die by the time they are only 18 years old.

Its not a childhood.

there aren't a lot of young women who would want to have sex with a 60-70 yr old anyways. Maybe only the abnormal, crazy ones would.

[a_gallant_one]

But why would he be dead if men are actually privileged? Shouldn't he have a way longer lifespan than you? And a 72 year old granny is still able to fuck, right? But, does anyone really want to fuck her?

[CrazyRay43]

Why would the father automatically be the one figured to pay for the kids’ college? 🤔


What exactly are you bringing to the table?
Do you have a career?

[Asker]

women make less money than men. if the father is too old to pay for college, its a sure fire sign that the kid won't be going to college.

[RavVid]

He could still get you pregnant at 50 but you have a point in terms of raising a family.

[Asker]

yea... you'd have to be a crazy idiot to have kids with someone who is too old to raise the kid

[RavVid]

Not ideal. An extended family member seems to be willing to get pregnant to any guy who is willing not to use a condom. She wants a baby while she still can and doesn't care if the father doesn't participate beyond the basic necessary minimum. Sadly she had her pick of some really great guys.

Keep that in mind.

[Asker]

@ravvid

nah... not even necessary bare minimum. Lotta fathers out there who do absolutely nothing for their kids. Just cuz an old man is alive, it doesn't mean he is involved in his child's life.

If your dad is too old to work a job, there is a good chance he won't be able to fulfill his role of a father. By 70s, most people need nurses / home heath aides.

[RavVid]

That is about right.

[fonduegirl]

Even forty is too much. The ideal age is twenties and thirties

[fonduegirl]

For christs sake he is your father's age. Why would this be a good idea?

[LiamJHayden]

Probably not. Even they are older their weaker sperm will never make it upstream so only the healthier ones will compete.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Al Pacino fathered a child at EIGHTY-THREE !!!(One of my buddies, a famous author, is 60 years older than his youngest child, who turned 12 Jan.16.)

[Asker]

yea but as you get older, fewer women will see you as a good fit to be a baby father.

[beefcakebradybatson]

They shouldn't, because you'll likely not live to see your children become adults.

[Asker]

@beefcakebradybatson

even worse, not having the energy or stamina to be a father. Not having the money to be a father either. You're retired, too old to work... how the fuck are you gonna support your child? how is the child gonna attend college? NO WAY

[beefcakebradybatson]

Pacino's loaded;he doesn't have to worry about his kid's future, but in general, you're spot on.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

Your mom needs to learn how to do math cause if someone becomes a parent at 50 they will be 68 when their kid becomes an adult, and most people aren't dying at 68

[Asker]

there is also college after 18. how is the retired old man gonna pay for college?

its likely he won't have the energy to parent either at 60. Most people are tired, drained and downhill at that age

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I want my grandkids to remember me. Running out of time for that though 😂

[Vegasrunner]

Not really men can have kids until the day they die. Its women who unfortunately only have a short shelf life to have kids.

[Asker]

yea but as you get older, fewer women will see you as a good fit to be a baby father.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker Nah as long as he does the work a man increases his value with age.

[Asker]

@vegasrunner

there is a reason why men marry while they're young rather than old

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker Yea, sometimes its out of ignorance other times its out of societal pressure most times its because they dont have options. However that is why so many marriages end in divorce with the woman initiating it. Young guys dont realize that their value only increases as they get older. Thats why you see so many successful guys banging women much younger than them.

[Asker]

@vegasrunner

vast majority of men never get wealthy. keep dreaming, old man

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker That simply means there is less competition for me.

[Asker]

@vegasrunner

so why are you still single? cuz you have no money

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker Single? I have multiple woman on my roster and most likely always will. Sounds like you're making the mistake of using a woman's metric of relationship success. A single woman means a woman hasn't been able to attract a man she loves and admires. A single man simple means a man smart enough to avoid commitment.

[MusicTokuXX]

Since i was 12, i wanted to have kids at or before early 30s or at 30. Cuz that’s usually the time…but unfortunately you cannot have kids until you get a wife which i’m not even close to getting because it’s impossible nowadays!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think its a individual thing since men don't give birth unlike women.

50 is kinda old to be having kids as a man though.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't everyone's biological clocks? Shrug ⏰⌚
I won't be having kids / have zero interest in offspring. Capitalism isn't my jam to promote

[jahaims]

Depends on the guys just like it depends on the woman

[Hulk30]

i think so i don't think it's as Rigid as Women's though

[Asker]

yea but as you get older, fewer women will see you as a good fit to be a baby father.

[foxsquirrell]

Taking into consideration what you are saying men have a time line for having kids.

[ponderingpaul]

I Don’t have a desire anymore after 40. Just too much work.

[ponderingpaul]

Probably good idea to get the surgery around my age…

[MrChinaski]

So this thread rapidly deteriorated...

[Asker]

i don't think so

[fonduegirl]

He's the worst. Don't even bother

[MrChinaski]

@fonduegirl It's always the women at the age of fastest decline in their own dating capital that are the most furious. Is all I'm saying.

[fonduegirl]

Ok 👍

[MrChinaski]

@fonduegirl Come on... you can punch harder than that...

[fonduegirl]

Wouldn't wanna touch ya.

[MrChinaski]

@fonduegirl better

[Asker]

@mrchinaski

men decline too. don't think you don't. I'm a young woman, not interested in having kids with old 50 yr old men

[MrChinaski]

I was just engaging in banter with @fonduegirl

[MrChinaski]

But yes of course men decline too. I know I have.

[slatyb]

Yes, but for some it's never.

[Phoenix98]

Not in the same way women do.