Why does my mum keep trying to sabotage my dating opportunities as a mature adult?

[MissSunshine2]

Is it really about wanting what she regards as the best for me, or is it more out of trouble letting go and a fear of losing me?

[Anonymous]

Oh hell I thought you were in your 20s or something. Now that I seen your age it might be about trying to find you the best man because obviously every man you’ve picked in the past has been wrong for you since you’re not married by now or in a long term relationship. But too most girls are like their mom’s so the fact that you haven’t landed a man by this age makes me think you two are alike. Let me guess she’s single? I mean it could be that she doesn’t want you to leave her.

[MissSunshine2]

She’s not single. My dad is a very committed dad and husband.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. May I ask in all these years why you have not met someone? Is it because of her?

[MissSunshine2]

No, it’s because I never met the right person, not that she helped.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok and what is the right person because honestly time is running out. I’m not trying to be an asshole but at that age most men aren’t looking for someone your age.

[MissSunshine2]

You’re never too old to get married. Until you’re dead.

[Opinion Owner]

I never said you were too old. I’m just saying your odds of meeting someone are much narrower than what they were if you were in your 20s. Plus why haven’t you moved out of your mom’s.

[MissSunshine2]

I’m studying at tafe and I don’t have any money.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. But what I’m really asking is at your age how come you’re not really established?

[MissSunshine2]

It took me a while to find the right job.

[Opinion Owner]

Even if it took you a while to find the “right” job, doesn’t sound like you planned it out financially to where you’d have money.

[Staximus]

Maybe you should move out

[RHK36]

You're almost 40 with mommy issues. Your lack of wanting to grow up and mature... the fact that you're doing things that should have been accomplished at least a decade ago is what's sabotaging your dating. No good guy is seeking a brat who's finally making traction in their mid 30s. Can you find someone? Sure. Will they be good? Maybe, but doubtful. Start being realistic with yourself and realize you're not finding anyone real living at home in your mid 30s still attending school with the excuse because you weren't ready yet.

[MissSunshine2]

I know your intentions are good, but you’re only partly right. I am a schizophrenic, so I’ve been too sick to cope with working up until now, when psychiatrists have gotten my medication right.

[MissSunshine2]

In my last job as a carer, I couldn’t cope, because it caused me to have psychotic episodes.

[MissSunshine2]

Working full time is probably out of the question and getting housing on the pension is tough. I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

[MidnightRivers]

hm, not bc she wants to hurt you, but bc of control? fear of losing relevance in your life? therefore she's projecting her own beliefs onto you

[slatyb]

Why do you let her?

[MissSunshine2]

I’m not letting her sabotage it; I’ve made up my mind, we’re dating. I can’t stop her from trying, with snarky comments, though.

[Pterodon]

Neither. It’s jealousy or envy