My boyfriend asked for gas money, should I be concerned?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. We are both 6 figure earners and in our mid 20s. I do an equal share of planning and paying for dates sometimes even more. Whenever we go on trips, he primarily drives as I don’t have a car yet and I also chip in gas money 70% of all refills.

This weekend my parents are going home after visiting me for a few weeks and the plan was to rent a car and he would drive them and me to the airport. That same evening I am taking him out on a date.
We couldn’t get a rental on time and we figured out a way to take his car instead. It’s a 1.5 hour drive to the airport at the busiest. When I asked him if it was possible he said yeah and seemed enthusiastic. Then he said “but I’d ask you to give me a gas refill” it instantly make me feel all sorts of ways. My friend who my parents have only met once before drove to the airport to pick them up with a cake WITHOUT ME and deposited my parents to me safely. She didn’t charge me a dime. And I would have offered to pay for gas unprompted. I guess my problem is me overthinking why he’d ask me for gas money for helping me with something that’s maybe once a year incident? Is he just cheap? Am I overreacting? Is this normal?

Also he has never really asked me for gas money, whenever we travel long distance, I offer to pay for gas (he lets me pay) and I also pay for parking here and there. So I suppose he has never had a reason to ask. But why did he ask this time? What should I do here? How to communicate to hi that this was a weird thing to do? He is good I know it in my bones. But I am more so trying to see if he feels used by me?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ok not saying that I am siding with him, because he can afford it considering how much he is making. But he is probably thinking that because he is shuttling your parents to the airport, that he should be reimbursed for the gas. Again, not saying this is the right way to think, but I'd imagine it is something like that. The other thing is, I'd assume that he is college educated? He was probably used to living frugally in college, and it has extended over into post college life.

My advice for what it is worth, is to talk it over with him. See how much on the same page he is with you if you are going to go forward towards marriage or whatever, regarding finances.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I don't know I can't tell you what to do, but for me, I have lots of friends that are guys and I watch some of the games they play and for me, if I was a girl and the guy asked me for money, even if it's your boyfriend. I would say, no I mean, I would probably give it to them, but I would say, no, because once you once that once you do that, it's going to be a never-ending story, especially if the guy doesn't have a job or whatever, because you're never gonna get it back. So if you do it. Do it under that understanding that you will never see it again that way. When you don't get it back , you can't hold it against him and blah blah blah

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If this is what you want and think you deserve then there’s no issue. Me, I would never be with a man who asks me to pay for anything and wouldn’t even accept me paying for anything even if I insisted. That means I’m with a man who provides and takes care of me/us financially. That’s how I want it, that’s how I want it. His money is our money, my money is my money. You decide who your partner is and with that the kind of life you (and your potential kids) live. I don’t understand picking a cheap loser guy to share and build a life with, but hey to each their own.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

What kind of a "Cheap Charley" of a boyfriend do you have? Making well over $100,000 a year and having the guts to ask you to chip in for gas on such a small trip?

This is a huge red flag. Today, he asks you for gas, tomorrow it will be to settle for a new house under his name but with you financing it and the day after tomorrow, he will ask you to pay for the mortgage and the entirety of the common holidays giving some kind of unbelievable argument.

It is time to get rid of that leach and to live, not just to pay.

AviatorTom · Answer

You may want to find more important things to fight over than gas money.

new-person · Answer

There is a few reasons why he would ask you. But if you want my guess why, it sounds and looks like you have a mutual understanding that you both are equally take part in the paying, and that makes a friendship type of feel. I bet that he asked because he was thinking he was doing you a favor and with that as the feeling of the relationship being friends, he got you to pay for gas.

I would not be so focused on the fact he got you to pay for gas, but more focused on how he acts as a friend, and not as a boyfriend. He just could be at a different stage in your relationship. But it might be worth while to sit down and have a relationship talk with him. Just so you know where you both are in the relationship.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Sounds like he's trying to find a rhythm of sharing expenses as naturally as possible.

It's better if you don't have to put rules on it. I'm guessing that's his school of thought anyway.

I've been the position where I declined stuff like that in the beginning because I didn't know if I was ready to accept that kind of commitment and didn't want to make the girl feel used but then as you become more sure, it can be a little awkward accepting something that was offered weeks or months ago.

RavVid · Answer

This is kinda a 1st world problem. You are earning equally. On trips you should both pay the cost. For the airport, the cost is entirely related to your need and it seems to me he is setting a boundary. He is giving his time and is saying the outgoings is yours. Reasonable.

You'll have other such issues in the future like presents to your family and his. Do you go halves? You might have more family than he does and so be unfair to him.

At times girls have wanted to go halves when it has been advantageous to them. Like one wanted to take turns in paying for dinner. But she ate far more expensively when it was my turn to pay and more frugally when it is was her's. I would just order at the same level either time.

It can become annoying. I think you should just take it as boundary setting and that is quite reasonable for him to do so and together you will work out those boundaries you are both happy with.

Anonymous · Answer

Funny everyone said dump him pretty much. Maybe you should talk to him first before making an emotional decision. It’s funny how we live in 2026, women making six figures but still expecting men to pay for e drying. I’m not saying that’s you. I’m just pointing out what pretty much all the women are implying that answered. I’d talk to him. But it can’t come out as an attack cause he’s going to attack back. Tell him you don’t want him to feel like you’re using him, it he feels that way. Just tell him that’s not normal of him so it made you wonder if something is wrong. You said yourself you said he’s good, you know it in your bones. So talk to him first otherwise you may end up losing a really good man because you let your emotions take over.

slatyb · Answer

Yes, you should. If he is broke despite having a well-paying job, that is a huge red flag. I suspect the money is feeding some habit -- gambling or drugs. A man with any self-respect would never ask his girlfriend for money. He's a leech. Get the hell out.

lightbulb27 · Answer

possibly, will have to talk about it and get to bottom of the emotions. feel being used?

when it's family, money is tricky, there's give and take. should the parents charge him for the next Thanksgiving dinner... what that cost $50 a plate, extra for stuffing? it gets funky dealing with family but as well have to be considerate.

madhatters4 · Answer

it sounds like you contributing to gas has become an accepted practice and so in this case it sounds like he is just kind of goign along with what is the normal thing. he drives his car and you contribute to gas.

i don't know why you would feel used because he is asking for gas money while driving his car to do a favor for you

that said maybe you two need to re-visit the whole matter about who pays or what the split is for gas

douride2 · Answer

You have been seeing each other for only 6 months. You waited to long to get a rental which would have cost you more if you had gotten one plus the gas. He goes an hour & a half out of his way to drop your parents off &all he askes for is a some gas money? Just give him the money & put it up as learning experience. I really dislike people who don't have a vehicle & expect someone else to chauffer them around for nothing.

GrammariklyIncorrekt · Answer

If he's making over 6 figures with a disposable income there is no reason he should be asking you for gas money. Maybe try and offer to pay once in a while since you mentioned he does most of the driving as you stated and see if he continues to ask. Things should be mutual for the most part so maybe he's keeping a score system in his head.

Staximus · Answer

Either this guy is the worst financial manager ever or the world's biggest cheapskate. I have a crappy job and don't even make half of what that guy makes, and I have no problem paying for gas anytime. The thought of asking a girl for gas money would never even cross my mind because it's not even an issue I have to worry about. Tell him to stop being such a cheapskate fucker and learn how to manage his finances.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Only if it's not for gas. My nephew used to bum $20 every day from my grandmother claiming it was for gas but he never paid her back and we eventually found out he was using the money to buy heroine!!

abc3643 · Answer

I'd be concerned about his fiscal habits. If you are both young, childless, and "earning 6 figures", you should be able to save and invest.

Anonymous · Answer

How many gifts and dinners he pays for?
The cafe coffee bills,
The small things like snacks, outting, random spends?
Are those adding up?
Is he spending too much on himself?
Loans, ring, family?
Anyone sick in his family he might support?
If not all this.
Then he is being just a jerk. Or want you to contribute someone.

UrLoveMocha · Answer

I don't know if concerned is the correct word, but I would definitely be side eyeing him. On the flip side, I also think it’s important to remember that not everyone has the same values or morals.

Crankor · Answer

If he makes six figures then what reason would he be asking for any money. Sounds like he's a fast food worker making minimum wage. I dont mean to say he's a bad person from his occupation but it doesn't make sense for him to do that.

Anonymous · Answer

He's probably just mean

Lots of guys are

Especially with other guys

He's maybe saving for house deposit and thinks every dollar counts

Because you been playing into the idea of giving him gas money he's just taking it as normal

Just go with the flow see how things go

msc545 · Answer

This is the attitude that most women have wherein they expect men to pay for everything for them in return for sex. That being said, asking for somebody to pay for something is trivial. That's gasoline is going way too far.

Pohjolan · Answer

So his worst day so far was asking you for a gas refill to drive your parents to a airport? While you make six figures?

Look you will never find Mr Perfect and its not like he asked you to pay for new tires or something.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know any “six-figure earners” who behave like children like this. This story is b. s. And who pays for gas with cash?

Kelley1 · Answer

In the unlikely event, that happened, find another boyfriend.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If he is making that kind of money, he shouldn't be asking you for anything.

Enginn · Answer

If you have to ask that you think its a big deal and you hate it. That means you dont really love him. He might be gambling all his money and lost it if he needs it from you. But hey its not lying if he doesn't talk about it.

noohair · Answer

My generation is, the guy pays for everything. You have the 21st century fuzzy wuzzi thing going. Since you have shared expenses in the past, I don’t see this “ask” as crossing any red line.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Sounds like a bullshit story to me. You're both 6 figure earners, yet you don't have a car, and he asks you for gas money? LMFAO. Nice try kiddo. Some of us actually have fully developed brains, unlike you.

LC75LC71 · Answer

You both make 6 figures and you're complaining about gas money? It's not like he casually asked for BMW!

Larry30 · Answer

Yes I would be concerned, doesn't know how to manage money and it causes stress. If you don't believe me then look you are here stressing

Anonymous · Answer

this is a transactional relationship, not a loving relationship.  he has no plans on marrying you, that I can say

AngryCarl3 · Answer

If you can't talk to him about this you really do have a problem.

Massageman · Answer

$100K+ earner should not need gas money. Yellow flag, if not orange.

LiamJHayden · Answer

The friend should have asked you. The boyfriend, no.

888theGreat · Answer

What does he do? What do you do? Where do you live? Do you owe on a house? Type of Cars? Debt?

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

He makes 6 figures and has to ask you for gas money. What a loser

V4valiant · Answer

Yea you should be concerned cuz he's broke af

coachTanthony · Answer

Probably lol

sage2021 · Answer

Tell him to sell his car 🚗 to get gas ⛽ money!!

MikeMcMansion · Answer

6 figures in your mid 20s? 🧢

exitseven · Answer

he sounds like cheapskate.

Anonymous · Answer

Why, is he driving your car?

alice55 · Answer

Run far away

In_Trance · Answer

Dump him

My boyfriend asked for gas money, should I be concerned?

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