Should I be upset with him for asking for gas $?

[Mistymittens324]

He flew out to see me once, i knew his ticket was expensive so i made sure to get us a nice room, i paid for the entertainment expect for 1 thing bc he insisted on buying, and majority of the food, and of course gas. Normally im about splitting the bill but when he spent that much to come and see me, i was fine with this..

I flew out to see him... it cost me nearly $1000 for the plane ride, and hotel rooms (that he was supposed to cover at least the rooms..), he did get the room for 2 nights but the other 2 he said I could stay with him but that didn't happen... he didn't even pick me up at the airport. Well on our last day together we were driving back and he goes to a gas station and says "hey can you fill up for me?" I thought he literally wanted me to just fill up the car, then I realized he was asking me to pay after.. I was kinda taken back by this... he did pay for most of our food, but the attractions we even went too, we paid separately... the only thing he paid for was 2 nights at the hotel, a rental car, and most of the food. I did make sure to take turns and pay for some of our breakfasts and meals though as well, cause I didn't expect him to get everything... But should I be upset about this or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Simply put - you’re not wrong for feeling the way you do. However if I were in your shoes I feel like the entire situation would make me wonder if an LDR relationship is worth it. Seeing eachother sounds really, really pricey, from the flights to the rooms, even food and entertainment. If he’s asking you for gas money (which I understand is crazy right now, usually over $70 in most places), I feel like it shows his position financially and an inability to really fund these get togethers, at least on his end. In the foreseeable future these dates won’t be less expensive unless you move closer. If that silver lining isn’t on the table, I’m not sure how much longevity the relationship can have or is even worth.

[Mistymittens324]

I don't think he has an issue with money... he literally Flys for leisure purposes almost every weekend... he rents cars every weekend... he'll fly half way across the states for a 1.5 day trip but yah

[Opinion Owner]

All of that is cool, and I’m not saying he’s broke. But in a logical way, why else would he ask you to pay for anything if he fully had the means? He may not be being 100% forthright about his finances, because literally all you can do is take his word for it.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the situation. Asking for gas money to be sent to you is in appropriate. Asking for help with gas money when you are planning to get together or when you are in the same car, if you haven't left yet, is okay. Asking at the station is tacky. With the exception of a gas station attendant, asking a woman to fill up the tank is unchivalrous. So in your case he was being both tacky and unchivalrous; perfectly good reasons to be upset about.

[Mistymittens324]

yeah like I would have had no problem doing it either way, but it was just so unexpected since I paid for everything when he was there... He was also getting annoyed because where I'm from you pay after u fill up, and I guess there you pre pay and I didn't realize thats how it was done, so he was annoyed bc my visa kept declining since it asked for a zip code which I don't have, and I only had cash so I had to go in and pay first so I think he wasn't happy that I only had 65$ left and that's literally all I could do which filled up to 3/4.. I just didn't plan for gas money or I would have taken out more

[Opinion Owner]

You don't know the zip code for where you live?

[Mistymittens324]

no like I live in Canada so we have postal codes not zip codes. so yeah

[Opinion Owner]

A zip code is the same as a postal code. Your postal code should have worked.

[jennyjenjen98]

To use a Canadian credit card at an American gas pump you enter the three numbers from your postal code (ie. ignore the letters) followed by 00.

[jennyjenjen98]

Canadian postal codes have letters in them (ie. A1B 2C3) and the gas pump only wants a five digit number so you can see how this can be an issue.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, that does make it difficult. However if you go into the station and swipe your card there you don't need a zip or postal code. I've had to do that a few times because the card reader at the pump wasn't working.

[Kabluie]

i feel that's weird, i remember flying to see a g/f, and she let me drive her car to our vacation resort that night. She didn't have a full tank but we would need to refill on the way and I paid it. Things like that don't bother me at all, money is not an issue to me.

So if he's asking, he's probably a bit stretched.

[CuriousMufuxka]

You allowed the reliance. Coming forward with the funds as a good deed usually results in taking and expecting more. All I can add is that y'all meet again, it's his time to foot the bill/s.