Do people choose different partners once money gives them more romantic options?

Question

A comment on my other post made me think about this…

She said that when a man struggles financially, he tends to date the woman he can get, but when he becomes wealthy he chooses the woman he really wants.

It made me wonder… do people love differently when they suddenly have more options because of their wealth?

Or do you think people’s preferences stay the same regardless of money?

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I feel a little flattered that my comment inspired this question 🥰

I was talking from my experience…

When I was 22-26 I had a relationship with a very handsome but financially struggling younger man… He was a year younger than me. He loved me and proposed to me. He was DEVOTED!

Years later, he became very successful and I remember him saying “Woman’s love is measured when a man has nothing, man’s love is measured when he has everything. You’ve loved me and I am sorry that I failed you. We should have married earlier, but now I’ve changed, I want to explore what’s out there.”

Interesting, that he started wanting to explore right after he reached a big success…

The second boyfriend of mine was a multimillionaire and a very handsome man, although an older one, I chose him because as a contrast to my past disappointment, this time I wanted someone who already has it all and who chooses me anyway! Who chooses me not because of his inability to attract many other women, but because he truly deems me compatible and wants me when a lot of other women try and want his attention. And they did! You’d be surprised… Women of all sorts would throw themselves on him and he had a lot to choose from. That relationship failed too, because at the peak of his success, he wanted someone who felt grateful to be in his life, didn’t speak up and accepted his terms as they were. I did that for two years, and I really loved him and wanted to make it work, but I am not someone without a voice… So, when I finally spoke up, we had arguments and drifted apart. He said “I think you are so peaceful and that’s why we have progressed so far.”
I was peaceful for two years… But peace shouldn’t cost you your voice.

Then he went back to his ex date, who he originally left so that he could pursue a relationship with me. The reason for this as he said was that “She is quiet, understands me and I don’t need to do much with her. She is just there.”

And of course, she took him back in… A lot of women forget their self-respect when the man involved is wealthy. :) Goes for both sexes…

So, from those relationships, apart from many other lessons, I’ve learned that, next time I’ll have to find a middle ground.

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

Money gives romantic options? Men who are targets for gold diggers have theoretically more "romantic" options but is this really romanticism?

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Well I’ve explained this a million times money can’t buy love and it’s men (and women too) who have money who need to be ESPECIALLY careful. If someone’s picking you because you have money it probably isn’t genuine love. How many successful men I’ve seen get cheated on? Many times by men who don’t have a lot going for them. A LOT…. Because those women aren’t really into them.

I’ve also seen men date up. And way up…… It comes down to finding the right person. Unfortunately, if you flex materialistic and superficial things who do you attract?

But I also know that someone shouldn’t be your only option. Because if someone’s only dating you because you’re the best they can get. They will leave when they find better

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

If a man is pathetic, then he'll leave the loyal woman who was with him through thick and thin. And one day, he'll likely regret it, because you can't buy that kind of loyalty.

I can say, if a girl chooses to be with in my low times, I'd never let her go. Obviously there needs to be compatibility and all, but other than that, I'm damn faithful to anyone who's with me in the trenches.

Women on the other hand, do tend to do that often. They leave men based on their financial situation much more than men do to women.

ohsheeT · Answer

There's all types of guys out there all types of people out there for me I'm going to go after the one that I like it doesn't matter how much money I have or don't have

Then it's in her hands and I would hope that she would be with me because of me being me not of what I have or don't have now or in the future so I have to be true to myself and I would hope that the person that I picked was also true to their selves

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I'm calling bullshit on this comment quoted, this statement manages to be as gynophobic as it is androphobic lol. It implies that men constantly dream of someone else while women would be so stupid that they're complicit.

That statement doesn't reflect reality, it reflects antisocial views where people are seen as operating on a market trading for the best living meat.

I'm not saying such transactional romance does not exist, but I would see that in specific places where lack of money is socially humiliating and between specific people, the ones so jaded that anything is something to trade.

loveslongnails · Answer

The more money you have, the more opportunity you have to attract certain women. Will a man's "preferences" change because of that? Hard to say if a man will suddenly change his outlook about what he wants in a woman just because he came into money. That's an individual thing.

Personally, I would never a woman let know my finances while in the dating process. I would tell her my profession, and I'd say "I'm doing find financially" if it came up, but if she pressed it, we wouldn't be a match. I'd never want a woman who's primary factor for wanting me is money.

Master_Debator · Answer

I'm going to say more money and success didn't bring me the kind of women I wanted around me. I remember getting advanced at my job and then all of a sudden I had women I already knew as sluts hitting on me... hard to describe but I could tell they just wanted financial gain. Having a anti-fraternization policy saved me from those chicks.

I'll put it like this... if a woman is looking at me and licking her lips because she can use me for a big house, plenty to eat, and basically what she can take... that doesn't give me a boner. Her body might, but how long will that last?

It's a total different feeling than being looked at and she's licking her lips because I hit the gym. She probably has a dude already and is willing to cheat on him for me just because she wants it bad. She knows nothing of my financial success and because of how I dress and act, she assumes I'm just a broke ass good looking guy.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Oh yeah. I've seen it. Over and over again. The nouveau riche Golden Boys with Ivy League degrees in the New York Financial Services world of Investment Banking, Private Equity, and Hedge Funds strike it rich and start bending the girls in the office over their desks until they hit 45-50. Then they ditch their former trophy wife, now 45-50 also, along with their kids, for a 25 year younger hot young thang. Not a problem, the wife and kids get the house in the Hamptons and trust funds. The new trophy wife gets to live in the Park Avenue apartment on the 36th floor and use his Miami vacation home to fuck her boyfriend. Cocaine for everyone! Therapy for the kids.

You think I'm kidding? No, this shit goes on all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and no. A man is limited w his options if he’s barely starting out in life. It women who tend to go for finances. So when he’s not making a lot, a lot Mormon won’t give him the time of day. But when he’s making a lot more now he has more options. Which really makes you wonder do women really like these men or is it the finances. More than likely it’s the finances they like. Men will date most women of most financial levels. A lot of men would date a girl working at a restaurant if she’s feminine, cute, etc. Most women won’t. So if he was smart he’d go w a girl who was willing to give him a chance when he didn’t have much as opposed to all these other women who walked out of the woods once he had more money.

MrChinaski · Answer

I wouldn't say 'options' so much as needs. I've had kids, have enough money. I don't need a partner to buy a house and build a family with... so the needs I had from a partner in my 20s are no longer relevant.

I think I've answered the inverse of your question. Oops.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Not if they're worth anything. As I've said on other posts, "money doesn't fixed broken character, it only magnifies the flaws that already exist". And a guy, (or woman) that would do that was never truly happy with that person to begin with. It sucks when this happen but when it does be thankful. It tells you you dodged a bullet.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It’s less about "money changing who you want" and more about "money changing what you can access, tolerate, and prioritise."

queenofcardio · Answer

There are opportunities to meet other people once you have a decent amount of money. You can travel to the places you’ve always wanted to visit and afford luxurious experiences. I think it’s true that some people may change what they look for in a partner based on the opportunities wealth provides; their views on life can change as well.

slatyb · Answer

Certainly some will. It's not very kind but it happens.

Jcbvirgo · Answer

Honestly not to be TMI but most guys that do that are either thinking with their small head or probably couldn't get women when they were broke. Even broke men can get women if he brings something of value to the table. Good men will appreciate the women who truly loved them during the come up. Especially because it's hard to come by

LiamS95 · Answer

Money is no guarantee of happiness, it often bites you in the ass. The bible says the love of money is the root of all evil.

msc545 · Answer

This is probably true, but I think it's more true for women than for men, since women's initial focus is on money.

Shiprex · Answer

I don't really think so. Most people find someone who makes them feel good and they want to make feel good and get on with it. I think it's a myth though that there's only one person for you.

AgentG111 · Answer

Money is not what made me fall in love or fall for a woman that I have involved with.

Randomguy28 · Answer

Then whats the difference between prostitution & relationship?

Phoenix98 · Answer

I've never cared much about how much my partner makes as long as they make enough to feed themselves and pay their bills that's enough.

MissSunshine2 · Answer

I think that you raise an excellent point and yes, it’s true I believe.

RavVid · Answer

Helen of Troy sums it up. Men like beautiful women and women like wealthy men who can provide luxury. Obviously Helen did not like a spartan life.

It is just a theme not a rule. Warren Buffet could have traded it up but hasn't.

exitseven · Answer

Some people just think that money changes everything. It can solve some problems but when you come right down to it, you are still the same person.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

No, I never have. They’ve stayed consistently the same. At least back when I was dating still I’ll be retired from that craziness anymore.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Personally i stay the same no matter how much money i have... If i love a girl, i'll keep loving her forever...

Ariesman81 · Answer

ALL people date the person they can get. It's called hypergamy. Both men and women have it.

kerem2NT · Answer

When their financial situation changes, their environment may also change. Their options may also change. If they love you, I don't think they will change.

AydenHazor · Answer

Money has no say in who I date, I care about who the person is and their heart, mind and soul. I think anyone worth dating feels the same, so if my lack of money disqualifies me in their eyes, no amount of money will make them worth dating

Anonymous · Answer

Well, if I had millions, or even better -- billions, I'd definitely be able to choose among some of the girls I like.

Loki97 · Answer

Success determines the partner you choose. Only when a man feels his woman is inadequate to his success does he look for better.

loveyouoak · Answer

Absolutely!

dragoblack · Answer

Only if he is immature and toxic

fish5505_87 · Answer

Yes!

jahaims · Answer

Yeah

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