Why are men more picky in committed relationships and women more picky in hookups?

Question

I've read this in numerous places now. How apps like Tinder show that women are more picky with hookups than men are, using the statistics on how women can get hundreds of swipes to the right while men struggle to get 10. When she swipes right, a woman is nearly 20x more likely to get a match than a man is.
But, when it comes to an actual committed relationship, that turns around completely. Men seem to be really careful about the women they get into a committed relationship with. In surveys done, men were shown to be more likely than women to say that they haven't found the right one yet. Men are also increasingly less likely to enter into a long-term relationship and also to ask a woman to marry them.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Girls have sex with and marry different guys in the Western nations. When they get older than 22 and then 26 and then 30 the number of guys interested in them decreases. That is why the guys they bang in their teens and 20s are usually different than who they marry in their late 20s or 30s. It's also why they get really upset when a guy only dates foreign girls from East Europe, Asia, Africa, or South America about 18 or 20 years old. More guys from countries like the US, Canada, and the UK are realizing their women are too promiscuous and not worth the effort past a certain point so they go to places where their Market Value as a Man is better and where they can find a younger woman, either virgin or very low experience, and who would be more loyal and a better mother, and has different priorities (love and marriage and starting a family vs. lots sex and hookups and career). I stopped trying to get a girl from America years ago and it made me happier because dating is BULLSHIT for most guys in America and I know I'm worth better and deserve a good girl.

Haaps · Accepted Answer

Women have a plethora of men to pick from since so many of them are trying to hook up with them, so they can be picky. This is just nature, men competing for the women.

The criteria for a committed relationship is far different than the one for a hookup. Hence the girl you bring to mama and the one you don't. A women only has to be pretty for a hookup, but a girlfriend or wife has to be dignified and stable. Men aren't going to provide and settle down with any loose women, why would they?

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

Men are easier when it comes to wanting sex and dont tend to put much weight into STD's or pregnancy. They are more interested in putting notches on their headboard. As for relationships, men tend to have a mindset that once they are in a relationship all their freedom goes away.
At the end of the day like minded men and women, (i. e. those interested in a serious relationship) both will have their hang ups and preconceived notions and fears and concerns but once both can communicate to each other and get on the same page, all becomes equal. The problem is the communicating

rockhaha · Accepted Answer

All that you stated is completely true, and the statistics back you up. It’s because when women look for attractive men it’s only for pleasure because they don’t think that these type of men are able to meet their emotional needs. And men also don’t believe that certain women will meet their needs. While you’re young it’s all about being attractive but as you get older what you look for in a partner changes

finesse68 · Accepted Answer

I personally prefer to shag someone who is reeeeally attractive to me, since a one time thing is purely based on sexual attraction not personality but if I want a serious relationship than I prefer someone who looks rather average, because they tend to be more down to earth and less cocky sometimes even a tad bit more loyal, but of course not all of them, that's just my personal experience

Mh1999 · Accepted Answer

Because womens have options well i don't do hookup but if i want to lol than their would be tight competition for it xd gotta be picky

Logorithim · Answer

Men have more to lose from marriage, women have more to lose from a hookup that results in pregnancy.

StingRayxoxo · Answer

Good question. I agree with what @Logorithim said.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Well, those surveys you mentioned don’t prove your question. It could just be, men aren’t interested in long term relationships, so they report not having found the “one” yet because they’re not interested in searching for the one. I think it’s odd to say that women would be pickier for hookups rather than relationships, because 1) you’re still having sex with a person in the relationship and 2) the relationship is a bigger portion of your life, so why would you be LESS picky? Doesn’t make sense. To me, the argument for the reverse (women pickier for relationships, less picky for hookups) can be made.

I haven’t firmly established my personal view on this topic yet so I won’t comment

MrNameless · Answer

Nah women men are picky for relationships too, notably 20s to early 30s until they get older and more desperate and realize prince charming with a fat wallet won't go for them unless they are equally attractive and rich, or the women are super young.

But in regards to hook ups.. That's easy. As others have said.. Men are more forward with sex and compete for it.. And its more risky biologically to hook up with someone you don't know well vs a committed relationship where you are more likely to think they will be be good for raising a family

Anonymous · Answer

Because when a woman is hooking up it's all just about her getting her f*** on. Who would you choose Chris Hemsworth or Chris Farley?
Guys are picky when it comes to relationships because firt of all if your commited you're only going to be sleeping with her. That's a big sacrifice right there, she better be worth it! Add to that all the shenanigans you're going to have to endure from her. All the nagging. All women are going to do this. All women!
But the degree will vary. The question is do all the positives overwhelm the negatives.

curiousme33 · Answer

Risk. Obviously a lot of factors but biologically boil down to: traditionally women carry babies and make the family and men provide and support the family
Women can't risk carrying a baby for just anyone who will not support them.
Men can't risk spending their resources on a woman who he believes is not worthy.

DDpsy · Answer

Because men have more to lose in a marriage where they chose the mother of the children they will support.

It's funny that women pretend their choice is based on some pregnancy risk factor calculation. if that were the case you wouldn't have 23% of mothers be single mothers.

Pulimuli · Answer

Because of our biology. Mens biology drives them to mate with as many attractive women as possible to increase the chance to pass on his genes

Women want attractive men to father their children (hence the hook ups) but they also want an emotionally strong and finacially dependent man to take care of them and their child. Rarely is a man all of those things

Hope this clarifies things

Anonymous · Answer

because the price is high when a man gets hurts  so a man is picky because he knows what he can do to a woman while the woman thinks she will be fine

MusicMayhem · Answer

Because most of the girls the average guy are able to hookup with, they'd be too embarrassed to be seen with in public, let alone introduce to family and friends.

Anonymous · Answer

We are picky because we don’t want to hook up with a weirdo who will bring us in a hotel before killing us, or using us as a human sacrifice in a ritual 😂

Landshrk0068 · Answer

Because men care about whose going to be raising their kids and sharing the rest of their lives with them.

No_Archons · Answer

Women aren't really that picky about hookups... they just match with almost every dude so why not pick the hot ones? Dating apps man... they are what they are

bamesjond0069 · Answer

When i was younger id stick my dick in any girl that was cute enough to get it up. Now im over hookups. I won't even date a girl unless she's fit, attractive, 22 or under, no more than 2 sex partners and no hookups, must be very serious about Christianity ie teaches Sunday school and goes on missions. If you dont meet those requirements you got no chance with me.

The reason is that i can get lots of shitty girls so why would i commit to a shitty girl? I need an amazing girl.

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

Tinder should be illegal and all other hook-up apps too

WhoDatGuy · Answer

Because women have fuck all to lose. A marriage can financially kill a man for life. A marriage is just a meal ticket to women.

winterfox10 · Answer

Because in both cases, the picky sex has, what the other sex wants, so they can afford to be picky.

Lance1965 · Answer

Men love idealistically while women love opportunistically.

Anonymous · Answer

Because Men have to be very, very careful when marrying, because the law still favours women in divorce, he has to make sure she's the one, and she's committed to the relationship, through the highs and lows.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are more picky in general, not just in hook ups.

Hurlyburly · Answer

Supply and demand.

Secret6620 · Answer

Great question 👍 never noticed before

Dsg1193 · Answer

Thought it’d be the other way around but okay

NerdInDenial · Answer

It’s the risk.

Why are men more picky in committed relationships and women more picky in hookups?

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