Are you a serial dater? If so, why?

[Anonymous]

Guys and gals, are you a serial dater? Assuming you go on dates to screen for long-term relationship potential, why are you going on so many dates instead of picking out a partner? Do you actually enjoy meeting new people constantly, eating out, but not actually committing?

I suspect that some girls enjoy serially dating to get free meals/entertainment, while others are just too picky when it comes to standards and can't seem to find a guy that's "good enough". I think the other reason why girls serially date so much is that many men push for sex very early, meaning that the girls will blow him off and try to find a guy who is more patient.

As for guys, I find that many girls flake out, or fail to show interest after a first or second date, hence why I date new girls frequently. At times, it would appear that it is easier to get a girl in bed with you than find a potential long-term girlfriend!

So folks, agree or disagree? I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this serial dating phenomenon.

I am a serial dater who's a girl.

I am a serial dater who's a guy.

I am not a serial dater, who's a girl.

I am not a serial dater, who's a guy.

See results.

[Anonymous]

I've never been a serial dater tbh. I'm not much for wanting guys to spend a lot on me but I'm just not into material things as much. I'd much rather go fishing or something easy without too much pressure than out to a nice place to eat, it seems like a waste of money to me unless its like a special occasion or something. But I recently got out of a really bad relationship with my one year old kid's father and it has been about a year since we split and 5 months since we stopped seeing each other at all; So I have been considering going on dates. I usually don't even make it to the date though, because most guys that come at me either come on too strong or get too attached really fast or something to that extent. There's a guy that I like that I'd like to go on a date with but we are usually in the same places when we go hang out and we have mutual friends so I've decided to just let it stay as friends that talk every time we run into each other and keep it off the internet or texting because a lot of guys are shady and girls can be shadier..

I got a bit off subject but I'll get to my point, if you come across a girl that is a serial dater and she doesn't have a legit reason, like the answerer before this those were legit reasons, then I would steer away from these types of girls.. A lot of girls truly are just interested in what they can get out of people and have no interest in settling down because they have plenty of guys interested and they are looking for someone who is "the best" which, in my opinion anyway, is the wrong way to go about your love life because in the long term view a friendship is what is really important if you want to progress from a relationship to something deeper..

[pineappleshortcare]

I know very few girls who date for free meals and entertainment. Actually, most girls hate the "dating stage" as much as men do. If that many girls are going on one or two dates and flaking out, I would assess my approach to dating. Are you doing something that sends up red flags?

Sometimes, I think that something you do seems to attract or be attracted to the same kind of people, but it can be really hard to pick up on what it is. For instance, when I was single, I CONSTANTLY got asked out by really controlling, bossy guys. The main reason, I think, was because, while I'm not shy, I do tend to let others talk and I'm laid back. Guys who wanted a "little woman" to boss around flocked to me, from watching me across the room. (That's a real quote from a guy I asked why he chose me to talk to over my friends). But really domineering men are actually my least compatible type. Unfortunately, I had a hard time pinning down the funny, playful guys I was most attracted to, so it was tough. I just kept going out with guys to try to meet one who wasn't the kind that was most often attracted to me. I ended up finding someone using online dating, which was good because you can talk for a while before going on actual dates.

[Anonymous]

Nothing is wrong with serial dating. It's easier to find a partner if you increase your options. Say you only go out with one guy at a time for about a few months. If he wasn't right for you, then you wasted all that time on one person and it failed. Serial dating improves your chances of meeting the right person by increasing your odds. It's like winning the lottery. If you have a one in 3 million chance to win 500K, who do you think would have a better chance at winning the money - the girl who only buys one ticket every 3 months, or the girl who buys 5 tickets a week for 3 months?

When I date guys, my intentions are different depending on the guy. Some guys are only good for free meals, some guys are fun and interesting that I'd like to get to know better, and some guys sweep me off my feet. It all depends on the person, I treat every guy individually and see him as a person. If you can have more than one friend, why can't you date more than one person? I'm dating around until I find the guy I want to settle with.

[elliesaur]

Why settle for one guy tho? Having an open relationship increases your chances of being happy; when you're unhappy with one guy, you just go mess around with the other one. I wonder what guy was okay with you going on dates with other 5 guys that same month. -_-'

[bubble_gumblonde]

I consider myself a semi-serial dater. I'm not looking to get a free meal or entertainment, I just genuinely want to find someone. I don't know that my standards are too high, but for the most part, attraction is a big deal for me. I need to feel chemistry and a little passion (and no, I do not sleep with these guys). A huge issue is that I feel somethings are not compatible, because I am an extremely adventurous girl. I plan to travel a ton before settling down, and mostly the guys I date are very family oriented, which does not meet up with what I want.

[Anonymous]

I use to be a serial dater when I was younger, and it was because most of the guys I dated were just wrong for me.

examples

1. I knew he was in love with two other girls

2. he made fun of everything I liked

3. he made me pay for all our food when we went out to eat, and always came over to my house even when I didn't want him to and bossed me around like a slave to make him food, always used my car even though he had a car and he worked at the same place I did plus he had another job but he still made me use my money, my car, and my house all the time

4. He had really bad debt and was in and out of jail for a long time

5. his hobbies didn't match mine, he was into pot, cocaine, drinking etc I wasn't

6. religious and political views caused too many arguments

etc

I"m married now and the guy I"m with now isn't perfect either, life sucks

[Asker]

Not counting the men above that you clearly weren't compatible with, do you feel that you left behind some guys that could have made a good long-term partner? Is there a reason why you didn't go out on more dates with specific men? Did they not show interest, or did you fail to do so? What do you think about that?

[sweet_18]

I just find it difficult to focus on more than one person at a time

[sassyg1rl]

I date multiple men because I want lots of sex and don't want to be in a long term relationship.

[Anonymous]

I'm not big on dating anymore.