Does needing to be #1 in my partner’s life mean I’m narcissistic?

Question

I tell all the guys I date... if I don't feel like #1 or If not #1, I have to be #2. If I'm neither of those, I will reject the relationship. I deserve to be treated like a queen

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I was going to say no , that ‘on its own’ doesn’t make you narcissistic. Then you had to go and ruin it by saying “ you deserve” to be treated like a queen? … well maybe if you treat him like your king? I mean guys only deserve reciprocity in that respect right?

You have not said enough for anyone to judge you on your narcissism. Should you have admitted to “needing constant validation “ , feeling threatened by time he spends with family , friends or at work , or trying to control what he gives his attention to , or getting upset when your not the Centre of everything? Then … there is is a few more flags 😂

In other words , it should be that you are imprtant in his life more than needing to be number 1 , he can’t always give you that , nobody could … people that think that need a reality check.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

To be treated like a queen you need to treat him like a king , not the other way around. A couple that makes each other their top priority is a relationship that will more than likely make it the long haul, over the short haul Also no relationship is perfect because you are both imperfect people but if you both make each other your top priority that’s where love continues to grow between you both. When a girl starts treating me like a convenience when I use to be her top priority , she becomes
My convenience as well and if nothing changes , she will be my ex. Because I am going to be open to another girl that wants to make me her priority

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

These are just my beliefs, but I believe that as a girlfriend, you should have high or equal prioritization to other important people/elements in your partners life. He still should have a life outside of you, like his family, friends, work, and can’t give you 100%, 100% of the time. However as a wife, I think traditionally you should have a higher level of prioritization because you’re now dealing with a more formal and deeper level of commitment. You share legal status, partnership, and are building a new, primary family unit.

jazzy34 · Accepted Answer

Hmm, maybe not narcissistic. High maintenance and immature maybe, but probably not narcissistic. If you can't understand that your partner has a life outside of you, you don't need to be with anyone. You would ruin his life. "I deserve to be treated like a queen." Time to grow up, your highness. Life isn't a Disney or a Hallmark movie. Get over yourself.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

You shouldn’t be telling guys those things, you should be treating me yourself and him the way that you inspire the queen treatment…

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I think it depends on how you frame it. On the surface, any man with half a testicle should want the woman they're committing to to feel that way. But that's just my personal opinion. Many dudes feel like they have to make the girl feel like she needs to constantly prove herself or else she'll leave.

goaded · Answer

If you think #1 means they should ignore their parents, siblings, friends, nephews and nieces, etc. yes. If you think they should choose you above any of them, even if they're in dire need... yes. If you think you should get more time than any of them when there's no disaster happening, no. Then you're fine.

Would you abandon your friends and family if your partner wasn't in dire need? If not, why should they?

If you would, why should your partner stay with you?

FreyaRed · Answer

Be realistic. Maximum you can achieve is nr. 2 you will be never number 1 because it's against human nature. However realistically you're nr. 4 or 5 if he loves you.

Anonymous · Answer

No. My goal in dating would be to find my life partner. She should take the place as my most important person, but it might not right away. The only thing that would supersede her would be our shared children.

HighValue · Answer

Can you be more specific in what you mean by "treated like a queen?"  What does he need to do to make you feel like you are #1 in his life?

Nikki1989 · Answer

I don't see the two things as being related.

genericname85 · Answer

i mean who's number one if not you? his family? i think that would be fair. but if it's another girl, then i think you're being reasonable.

msc545 · Answer

Well, that's great. Please keep on treating yourself like a queen because I don't think anybody else in their right mind is going to do that for you.

Staximus · Answer

You should be the only woman in his life, but don't expect a guy to put you before his family or his children

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. Given u are after their own family , and job. It’s normal to prioritise those things first

In_Trance · Answer

You get what you give. Based on your description I don't think you're giving what your demanding

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily, maybe you're just egotistic.

NathanDavis · Answer

it means you're more of immature

queenofcardio · Answer

No, seems reasonable

slatyb · Answer

Why would you accept being #2?

whosnumber_1 · Answer

Are you insecure?

Jonettacali · Answer

If you're a queen, don't you date kings

Jeff51 · Answer

Partners should be #1

Zionne · Answer

that's realistic

Does needing to be #1 in my partner’s life mean I’m narcissistic?

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Does needing to be #1 in my partner’s life mean I’m narcissistic?

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