Girls, Should I ask her to talk or let it be?

[Anonymous]

For Valentine’s Day I bought a co worker I have a crush on roses. Since then she has acted cold and has given me a stare that can burn a hole through me. I recently found out from a friend of hers that the message just had the ending and not the entire message. The ending is harmless. “I hope your Valentine’s Day is as beautiful as you are.” Maybe this is the cause of her anger. Maybe it’s because my name wasn’t on it. I don’t know. It’s been a minute but her anger is still around. Should I ask her to talk or just let it be?

Ask to talk

Let it be

[HollyK21]

Why didn’t you just ask her out when you gave her the roses? That would’ve made the most sense lol.

[Asker]

So the note on the roses was long and explained how I do want to take her out. Especially on valentines however I was sick with pneumonia and couldn’t buy id make it up to her. With the have a beautiful day at the end with my name. None of that was put on the card except the beautiful day part.

[HollyK21]

Suggesting a date does not equate to actually planning and making one happen. It’s like running into an old friend, suggesting you should hang out sometime, and then never following up about that. You should be verbally asking her out if that’s really what you’d like to do.

[Asker]

True but it is what it is now. I want to fix what’s been happening and a date can be put on a back burner.

[HollyK21]

What’s happening right now is more likely than not based off you giving her those flowers, along with that lengthy note, only to not follow up on it, not ask her out, or really no other mention about that gift. If you wanna fix it then start by going up to her and addressing it, have a conversation. If I’m misunderstanding something, like you have had a conversation with her, then feel free to clarify.

[Asker]

You’re not misunderstanding. You got it. I just haven’t had that conversation. I want to do it this week but wasn’t sure if it’ll make it worse.

[HollyK21]

I say this with zero disrespect, I just can’t think of a better phrase, but you’re in a place where I think it’s time to either shit or get off the pot. Like we’re halfway through April and you made this move for Valentine’s Day. You’re talking about putting romance on the back burner, but why give her that whiplash? To go from roses and love letter, to requesting friendship, to acting on your crush again in the future once you feel comfortable enough trying. I just think you’re at the point where you need to either address this or drop it completely and continue on in your normal work routine. I feel as though you’re already headed down that route, with how you keep putting off the conversation or talking yourself out of it, maybe it’s best to just let it go.

[HollyK21]

If you address it this week I don’t think you’d have anything to lose. You’ve already made the move of giving her those flowers and note, choosing not to follow up on that gesture is like letting your courage to even give it to her in the first place go to waste. I’m not sure what your intention was when you gave it, like were you expecting her to ask you about it? Would she even know it was you who gifted her in the first place? I don’t know. But you should follow through. If nothing comes of it then at least you tried and at least you’d have the answer. You can take that off your plate and move on.

[Nikki1989]

Was this really at work or in high school?

[Asker]

It’s both actually lol

[Mariogirl09]

Maybe she suspects its you. This doesn't sound too good :/

[Asker]

Should I talk to her? Own up to it?

[Mariogirl09]

Her staring me down is kind of offputting to me. How is your interactions with her otherwise?

[Asker]

They are meh. If I say good morning she replies but no eye contact. In emails she is short. No joking or talking.

[Mariogirl09]

Do you know if she's single? The whole no contact thing could mean either she likes you or she doesn't. I dont see too many connections between you and her to say she likes you and go for it

[Mariogirl09]

Eye contact*

[Asker]

I was told she was by a friend of hers. I would flirt. I’d tease her. She’d tease me back. We had fun.

[Mariogirl09]

If you do talk to her just know there's a possibility of rejection. What do you want to talk to her about? The roses? Or asking her on a date?

[Asker]

I want to let her know it was me. That the note should’ve said more. I’m ok with rejection. I just want us to be cool with one another at end of the day.

[Mariogirl09]

I think maybe you should talk to her. Cause the deathly stares would rub me the wrong way. Deff be confident but let her know what you just told me. Good luck! :)

[Mariogirl09]

I told this to a guy on valentines day too but he didn't say anything lol I hope your situation turns out better than mine

[Asker]

Thank you! I hope it goes well too. Sorry about your situation though

[Mariogirl09]

Its okay. I deleted it before he could really say anything anyway lol 😆

[Abbycado]

Lmao the ending was harmless. XD

@Agape93

[Asker]

Can you elaborate?

[Abbycado]

That’s not harmless. That’s making an advance on a coworker, and now she’s uncomfortable. How are you this old and not know this, smh.

[Asker]

Anyway to make her no longer feel uncomfortable? Should I try or just leave it alone?

[Abbycado]

Leave it alone.

[Zionne]

ask to talk