I’m 18 and in love with a man 10 years older—are my parents right to object?

[Anonymous]

I'm an 18 year old girl. But I've been in love with a guy older then me since I was around 14. He is 10 years older then me. My mother seems to think that even though I'm 18, I'm to young to be with who I want to be with.. But legally speaking, I am an adult. I recently found out that I might have a chance to be with the guy I've wanted for years. And I'm over the moon happy. I don't think my parents should be able to control who I can and can't be with. My parents have a 10½ year and gap. But when I fall for someone 10 years older then me it's an issue? I just want to be happy.

[Master_Debator]

So you should explain to your parents that he was grooming you since you were 14, which means he was 28 and grooming a 14 year old... he sounds like an awesome guy... no seriously...

My 32 year old goal would probably be to get a gril your age at 18.

Look... they had this guy around since you 14... and you have a logical point about their own age gap. If they want to burden themselves about it, maybe they should look at themselves for those two reasons. So on that note... do what your parents choose to do... and be happy.

[Asker]

No no no! We didn't do anything when I was 14, I worded it wrong. I've liked him since I was 14. But neither one of us did anything while I was underage.

But now that I'm 18, my feelings for him got stronger and I can't seem to stay away from him. Literally every fiber of my being feels like it's being pulled twords him. We've been talking more, and visiting each other more (when we have the chance bc my parents obviously don't approve.)

And my parents know he's a good guy. So I just don't understand why they care so much when they are basically in the same position.

[Master_Debator]

Grooming doesn't mean something physical was going down... and it probably sounds harsh in the adult/minor context. I groom adult women technically... until I get them to sleep with me.

Yeah your parents sound hypocritical. I mean they did it... now they want to pass judgement on you, their child, that grew up with that example in front of your face... why? I don't know... I mean your parents were find with it... just not for you all of a sudden.

[SueShe]

This is going to be a tough awakening in a few years once he has use and misused you and that you will be too old for him once you reach 25.

Those guys look for young and fresh meat and once the get bored with the novelty, they move on to the next unaware victim.

Your parents are just trying to protect you from making a huge mistake. Yes the are right but I am aware that you don't care that they worry that you are only a prey. Obviously, they can't actively do anything else since you are an adult and that you think that fornicating with an old man is what makes you happy.

Time to wake up and realize that you are being used.

[StephanieChick111]

I was in the same situation. I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 10 years older than me. I lied about my age. But in my situation my mother was my biggest cheerleader for me and totally supported me. You are eighteen and you can do whatever you want. Hopefully your mom will come around.

[HighValue]

What matters is compatible morals, compatible long term life goals, and having some common interests for activities you can both enjoy together. THAT is what helps a relationship to be successful long term.

Also, if you do end up together, as long as both of you are happy, at that point don't ask for advice from anyone about the relationship. If people are happy together, there will always be others that seek to ruin it.

[Abbycado]

No, it was an issue at 14, but you are an adult now (legally). You can do what you want.

[LazerBean]

Whether or not it's an issue just depends on the man. If your parents have an issue with it even though they themselves have a 10-year age gap, the problem may be the man rather than his age.

[Zionne]

i think you deserve him. He'd be mature to handle the relationship

[David318578]

You are an adult, if you can't make adult decisions without the feedback from a bunch of strangers on GaG, then your parents are correct that you're not mature enough.

[jahaims]

That's not love and if a 28 year old is going for an 18 year old he is immature af

[Anonymous]

They are probably right. But it's your life. And sometime (right or wrong) we have to learn the hard way.

[dudeinohio]

Assert your adulthood and make a stand.

[audean57]

Go for it, it's your life and yes your an adult

[In_Trance]

What do you love about him

[Asker]

He's one of the only people that's been in my life so long. I met him when I was 14, and nothing happened between us! Obviously, I was to young. But I fell for his eyes first. They are the prettiest shade of blue and he makes me feel seen in a way I've never felt before. I love how he treats me, even when we were just friends. He would always make time for me, and he would stand up for me and keep me company, cheer me up when I was upset. I love his smile. He has this boyish smile when he's happy and it's literally the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

I've had issues in the past with relationships. Loosing feelings after a few months, and breaking their heart when I didn't want to.

But I've been in love with this man since I was 14. And now that I'm 18 and I have a chance, my feelings are just stronger. I thought they would dim out and maybe it was just a little crush, but it's not.. Im physically in love with him.