Am I in the wrong for trying to be grown up in 30 years old and he’s only 15?

[ZainabAli123]

Hey I need some advice so o have a brother who’s only 15 and I’m 30 so I been past his age and I know what it is like to be a teenager but when I was his age we had rules in the house. Like if I was rude or even spoke out of like my PlayStation would get thrown out the window or I would get smacked up. Obviously since my parents have had my brother back in 2008 they have changed and react very differently with him.

It all started yesterday night I noticed how my brother stays on his tablet and phone talking to his friends I have never been bothered by him doing that but I ended up having enough of it because he stays on his tablet and phone till 3am he uses my parents not paying attention to him as an excuse to do what he wants. Being an older sister I gave him more than 3 warnings just basically saying it’s late and he needs to put his stuff downstairs or give them to me till morning. He pretended to avoid me and not listen to anything I have to say and since my parents wouldn’t do anything about it I went to his room and asked him again but this time he ignored me so I tried to take his stuff off him till morning a fight broke out. My parents than came to fight with me to which I stormed out the house in anger. Came home to see my parents have disconnected the internet instead of punishing my brother. The reason I wanted him off his phone is because thats when problems start he already been in trouble with the police and spent one night in jail all cause he had his phone till 3am at night fighting with people and threatening them. I tried to be a big sister and do what’s right but instead my parents took away the internet box like am I wrong for trying to protect him when my parents aren’t doing anything and have given up on him.

[KostasKouvalis]

When you let things slide for too long when you finally DO get assertive, YOU'RE the bad guy. You need to be assertive from the start, but personally I think parents override a sister, so if I was in his position, I probably wouldn't take direction from you either.

I can tell from your name that you're Muslim, so I am not surprised your parents are giving your brother special treatment. Definitely some sexism going on, most likely from your father, who probably never wanted a daughter and since he's the boss of the house, your mom probably felt intimated into punishing you too while not punishing him. There's nothing worse then double standards. Personally, I say fuck your brother. He's making his bed, he can lay in it. I can already see a future terrorist in the making. But what's pissing me, is how they're kissing his ass while they were punishing/abusing YOU for doing the same shit. Definitely sensing some sexism, which I know is coming from your father. He should take that shit to whichever third world shithole he came from. Sexism has no place in a Western country. You should move out if you can.

[WindAtMyBack]

You can talk to him and encourage him, but you are not his parent. You can't be taking his stuff from him no matter how much you think it's justified.

You can also talk to your parents about it. But you can't force either your parents or your brother to do anything. All you can do is have your say, but don't keep going on and on about it - that is never productive.

Last but not least, have some faith in your brother. He's only 15. Kids that age do all kinds of stupid stuff, and tend to be irresponsible. Give him time to grow up. He might do far better than you think. Let it play out. It's not like he's murdering people.

[petitedollbabee]

He’s your brother, not your son - ultimately it is up to your parents as to how they discipline him or treat him. I understand that you want to be a good big sister, but back off a little. It’s not your job to punish him or take things off of him, or dictate his life, unless you are his legal guardian. You are staying in your parents house as an adult, if you don’t like the way that they are raising your brother, then you can leave and find your own place to live - you are 30, but you’re acting as if you’re the 15 year old.

[ZainabAli123]

My parents won’t do anything about him they have chucked all his responsibilities to me and my sister how do you think we both feel they have given up on him and if none of us do anything he will stray off and become even worst especially when he gets to the age of 18 maybe in your culture it’s not wise to intervene with siblings but in my culture it’s called respect youngers have to respect oldest and he’s old enough to understand my parents have given me and my sister the right hand side to tell him off if we need to be as for the leaving the house thing! Women don’t just get up and leave in my culture you have to get married for that happen reason being is it brings shame to the family! Obviously I am looking for my own place and stuff but until than he’s handed off to me and my sister to take care off. If my parents so much as cared they would have done something about it even they knew what he did was wrong!!! But he don’t listen to anyone cause he’s spoilt and cause no one has ever told him no, giving a sibling tough love and taking things of them is our rights as older siblings if he was older than me and he did the same thing I’d actually understand cause he’s older than me but in this situation no.

[HelpfulWoman]

yeah, at 30, you're being a fucking moron here.
be grateful that your brother has "better" parents who don't destroy his stuff than what they did with you.
and if you want to act a parent, have your own kid. butt out of their choices.

[JayBones2469]

You are in a not so common situation. One I see my kids in the future (if I don't already see it in my present) oldest daughter is 15, middle is 12 youngest is 3) despite your age and wisdom you are siblings and technically equals. If you are the oldest it is your responsibility to look out for your younger siblings. That's why you are the most trusted and the heir of your family. Your job is to guide but you aren't the boss. If you usurp your parents role your younger sibling will rebel and resent you. Advise, mentor, guide. If that doesn't work force your parents to do their job. Make your sibling resent them. They won't be around as long as you.

[ZainabAli123]

Do you all think I enjoy being his older sister trying to protect him and look out for him all the time I have a life of my own but in doing it because I passed his age I know what it’s like to be 15 and rebel my parents aren’t doing anything my mum is diabetic with no energy or less energy my dad is also out of energy that’s why they have stopped parenting him right you all wanna talk about parents doing the right thing at 15 he drove my dads Tesla he took it out to his friends house and crashed it at 15 years old my dad struggled to even pay for the car to get fixed he took the key under my now’s because I backed off and didn’t do anything!!! As an older sibling it’s not called bossing them
About it’s called protecting them and stopping them from making bad choices I have a younger brother to who has autism he’s seeing all this my older brothers actions and he thinks there okay!!! That’s another thing my parents have to handle my brother with Autism again he don’t listen to my parents he listens to me cause I’m tough on him but I don’t scream
And shout at him it’s the same with my older brother I don’t scream and shout at him and I don’t hate him but I’m trying to protect him it’s not my duty it’s my parents but they can’t do it no more he’s been in prison already he’s even taken a knife outside with him see he’s out of anyone’s control and you all are telling me to not protect him my parents can’t do shit for him and nether can I cause I’m fed up but he’s 15 atm he is about to turn 16 and when he turns that age than yeah he’s not a kid no more and he can do what he wants he will be alone cause legally 16 is counted as a mature and grown up age so yeah I’m only
Doing this now but I’ve given up on him now!!!

[JayBones2469]

Ok fine. You don't care about your brother. Move out disown and live your selfish life alone.

[JacobJordan]

I didn't realize you birthed him and were his mother. Oh you didn't? Then keep your nose out of it. He is 15, not your kid, and not your responsibility. You also have no idea what it is like to be a teenage boy. It is far different from being a teenage girl.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your parents stopped being abusive, and because they abused you but not your brother, you are now attempting to punish your brother for it when you should be punishing your parents.

Leave your brother alone, it's not hus fault your parents were assholes while raising you, and its not your job to copy that for him.

The treatment you got has since been made illegal in the US, if you live in the US, then thats probably why they stopped.

[Smashingdoozy]

It's not your job to parent your siblings. Tell your parents about your concerns and that's all you can really do.

[ZainabAli123]

I have tried telling them my concern and it’s not my right I’m not bossing him around trying to protect him but my parents are too old and weak to handle him now he won’t listen to anyone like I said he’s 15 years old now so he’s in the care of everyone in the house right now but when he turns 16 he will be a legal age to do what he wants and that’s what me and my sister have decided at 16 we are giving up on him and he can do what he wants

[DreamLife7]

Dude what are you talking about 😂😂? If he's been back since 2008 that's been 16 Years so he was a baby in 2008 or wasn't even born. Stop trolling

[Anonymous]

Yeah it's a different era since the liberals replaced education with indoctrination about the time of the recession near to your brothers birth