Should I cut off a man who relies on me emotionally but won’t commit?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been emotionally committed to a guy for almost 3 years, I don’t think he ever emotionally committed to me though. We went on a 4 dates when we first met & never slept together. He’s stayed in touch with me on FaceTime through a deployment & him moving across the country. Emotionally were closer than ever, we talk for hours multiple days a week, but he recently told me he doesn’t want a LDR so I told him I’d move & he didn’t say anything about it. I know he’ll continue to call & share with me like I’m his girlfriend, but he isn’t moving this forward or willing to try.

I really love him so I don’t want to cut him out, but I don’t see another option except saying “Unless you’re ready to commit or give me real space in your life, please don’t call me”.

I’m looking for a man’s perspective, please give me advice or say what you think I should do.

Don’t give him anymore time

Say what you wrote

Stick it out, he's still around cause he cares

[Anonymous]

Well clearly you want more than you're receiving. It SOUNDS anyways like in your mind you're being clear about what you want from him. But I'm not so certain he gets that because I'm not so certain you are flat out saying it. Your questions wording suggests that you're walking right up to the line of an ultimatum and then expecting him to take it from there. Which wouldn't be bad if he got. But if he doesn't get... ya see what I'm saying? Now if I'm misreading your question, tell me. I can only go by what I read and think you're saying.

[Asker]

I’ve told him I want a relationship & that I’ll move but I’ve never given an ultimatum or said please don’t call unless you’re willing to commit because I hoped sharing what I want would be enough for him to say yeah me too let’s try.. but now I’m seeing that he is comfortable staying as is & I’m not, so now I’m finally considering a boundary/ultimatum.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's my response to you then. If you've made your intentions clear I think you're justified with an ultimatum. This is not personal (I mean it is, but at the end of the day we have to pursue our own happiness). I was just asking because if you'd not made your intentions clear, he'd be oblivious if you hit him with an ultimatum. And that wouldn't be fair to him. But if you've made yourself clear. Then he KNOWS the turmoil you're feeling and it suggests he's OK with it. That is NOT a friend. It's someone who exploits someone good nature.

[Nikki1989]

He does seem like a time-waster. Surely you can do better.

[dudeinohio]

Absolutely

[Asker]

Absolutely what? Say what I wrote?

[dudeinohio]

Sorry. I'd cut him off after explaining stating he had enough time and blew it.